The Truth I Hide
by f4life
Summary: Sequel to The Truth You Hide. Paul and Fay's lives couldn't get any better until an unknown vampire walks into their lives, specifically Fay's. Will she keep her secret hidden or will it all become too much for her?
1. The Golden Boy

**A/N: It's here guys! The sequel. So I really hope that everyone who read The Truth You Hide reads this, I know it took me awhile but at least I got it done right? Anyway I hope you all like this.**

**Here we go.**

**Chapter 1: The Golden Boy**

I was completely and utterly exhausted. My body weak and helpless as I lay in the hospital bed. But it didn't bother me in the least, in fact I had the biggest smile on my face and my heart was filled with so much joy and love.

It had been hard, it was to be expected though. However Paul had been my side through it all, holding my hand and speaking soft, encouraging words to me. It was a special moment for us, one we'd never forget.

"He's so beautiful," Paul whispered as he cradled the fragile baby in his strong arms.

Smiling up at him, I replied, "He looks like you."

His eyes met mine a second before drifting back to the baby, "You can't really tell honey, he's so young."

"But it's obvious." Paul was sitting on the bed next to me so I was able to stroke the tiny baby's head, full of soft black hair.

He smiled down at our son, "I guess."

I was about to say something else only to stop once I saw the silent tears trickle down his cheeks. It was surprising to me that he would cry during this moment as the last time I had seen him cry had been before the newborn fight. The night we conceived our baby.

My own tears started streaming down my face as I watched my husband and our innocent little baby in his arms.

The past couple of months have been the best couple of months in my life. First, I had gotten married to Paul and became Mrs. Fay Scott. The wedding had been exactly how I pictured, on First Beach with Emily and Kim as my bridesmaids. My mother and father had been there too along with my little brother. Everything just seemed so wonderful and everyone had gotten on so well, including my parents and Paul's.

Then the wedding had ended all too soon and with tearful goodbyes, Paul and I headed off to the airport. We went on a two week vacation to Florida for our Honeymoon. And Florida itself was beautiful. Wonderful beaches, the people were lovely and the hotel we stayed in was fabulous too.

In the mornings we would go for a swim at the beach as the hotel was located on a beach. Now and then we'd swim in the pools. Then we would go grab something to eat, tour around the place, shop then head back to the hotel.

Every day was different but always just as incredible. It was so beautiful and romantic just to watch the sunset as we lay together on the beach. To have dinner in an expensive, dimly lit restaurant afterwards and to make love to each other in the late hours of the night.

As much as we hated to leave, we had to. But it wasn't the end of my joy, no I was married to the man I loved completely and was pregnant with his child. I had given my parents the news once I hit my fifth month, surprisingly they took it well and congratulated Paul and I.

Then as I grew bigger, I'd feel my baby kick and it would make my whole day. It even made Paul's when he got back from work at the garage. He would wait up with me until two in the morning just to feel our sons kick under his hand.

And now that I had given birth to our baby boy, I couldn't have been any happier.

"Baby!," my mother called as she barged into the room.

"Mom," I smiled.

"Oh baby how are you feeling?," she asked as she wrapped me up in a hug before pulling back.

"Great, never been better."

She looked over at Paul holding our baby, "Paul congratulations."

He smiled happily, "Thank you Mrs. Uley."

"Aw look at him, he's gorgeous!," she cooed.

"Would you like to hold him?," Paul asked.

A smile spread across her face, "Yes, if you don't mind,".

The instant the baby was in her arms she said the exact thing I had said only minutes ago, "He's so like you Paul."

He chuckled, "It's an honor."

"Really he is, look at his lovely black hair and dark skin, his features are so like yours. He'll be a very handsome man."

My father walked in with my little brother Owen just then, both of them with big smiles on their faces. To be completely honest I missed having my family around but my life with Paul was so special that I was able to cope with it.

Not long after that the pack arrived with Kim and Emily. All of them congratulating us with hugs for me, pats on the back for Paul and kisses for our baby. Of course everyone said the same thing, that he looked like Paul.

I was delighted about that, I've always imagined our children to look like him. Paul had such a strong, beautiful, handsome face that I knew for sure our children would be just as beautiful. He didn't like when I said things like that though, telling me I was beautiful too.

"So I guess we already know what we're going to call him," I smirked.

Everyone had left except for my parents and little brother but they had gone to grab something to eat so it was just me and Paul again.

"Well we have been talking about it for the last six months," he replied. Kissing my cheek softly as the baby slept quietly in a crib next to the bed.

"Noah," I said. Looking over at the baby.

"It suits him perfectly doesn't it?."

"Yeah," I yawned, resting my head against his chest.

"Sorry honey, you must be exhausted," he said. Slipping out of the bed and pulling the blanket over me.

"It's okay Paul, I love you." I smiled tiredly at him.

"Rest now." He kissed my forehead, "Talk later."

And that I did.

* * *

It had been a week since I had given birth to Noah and although my body wasn't in the best shape, I was doing okay. Paul, mom and dad had been great at home, helping me around, asking if I needed anything, bringing me up food and taking care of the baby so I could rest.

This morning my parents said their goodbyes as they had to head back home due to their jobs and my brother Owen was missing school. Paul was more than great though, bringing me up breakfast and looking after Noah.

I could tell just by looking at him that he was slightly a changed man, no longer the single bad tempered werewolf but a married father with a softer side to him. Not a drastic change but a big enough one and one I liked.

"Is he asleep?," Paul whispered as he entered the nursery.

I stood by the crib watching Noah sleep, "Yeah, he's so adorable when he sleeps."

Two warm arms wrapped around my waist, "He's no trouble at all," he said. Resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Thank you." I turned around in his arms, "Thanks for everything, I don't know what I'd do without you."

He pecked me on the lips, "Don't mention it."

We left the room then, allowing our baby to sleep in peace as we headed into our own room. Since last week our room was the only room we spent any time in considering I was too weak to walk around.

It was around four o'clock now and I wondered why I had even gotten dressed. It's not like I was going anywhere and the clothes weren't too comfortable for bed. I was wearing a simple plain white t-shirt with a pair of loose shorts.

I attempted at pulling the t-shirt over my head but Paul stopped me, "Let me."

Only a few months ago I would have been mortified at Paul seeing me topless and braless but ever since we had gotten married that changed. We'd walk in on each other while we were taking a shower or changing our clothes. Now and again Paul would arrive home completely naked, having shredded his shorts while phasing.

In the beginning it was quite uncomfortable for me but as the days passed I began to slowly not really care anymore. Although I was still shy about my body, I figured if Paul liked what he saw then what was the point? And right now I was too tired to care.

Paul stripped me from head to toe before pulling a light nightdress over my head and carrying me to the bed. He slipped in next to me as I snuggled up into his side. Paul wasn't wearing anything but his black boxers and I missed the skin to skin contact.

"I miss you," I murmured into his chest.

He ran his fingers through my hair, "I miss you too honey."

I kissed his skin, "Five weeks is too long."

"Five weeks and it won't hurt Fay."

"I know," I sighed, "It's weird how you're the male here and you're not as bothered about it as I am."

He chuckled, "I _do_ miss it, you know that."

"You don't act like you do."

"Oh come on Fay!."

"I'm just saying…"

"No that's ridiculous," he stated.

I rolled onto my back next to him, "But you used to always want me and now it feels like you don't."

He sighed, propping himself up on his elbow, "We have a baby now, we have to take care of him."

"I know."

"So," he poked my side playfully, "Don't get all upset, I love you so much and that's a fact."

I smiled up at him as he gazed down at me, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize Fay, we're teenagers after all," he chuckled.

I chuckled back before turning on my side away from him in an attempt to get some sleep. The feeling of wanting him had been bothering me ever since I had Noah. It was strange as I wasn't normally like that.

Paul on the other hand didn't seem bothered at all. I suppose I couldn't blame him, after having Noah. Noah was a blessing, such a wonderful baby and wasn't a bother at all. When I had first held him straight after giving birth I had felt so elated, so happy, so proud.

Noah would be my friend as well as my son. While Paul was out working the past couple of months I had become very lonely, I wasn't used to not having school anymore. Kim was hardly ever around as her and Jared were having relationship problems.

Her parents wanted her to go to college but neither her or Jared wanted that. They had gotten engaged just weeks after my wedding and planned to marry next year. This caused a whole lot of drama between the families so basically her and Jared are constantly arguing now.

"Fay?," Paul whispered, cuddling into me.

"Hmm," I murmured.

"It's the imprint you know."

I frowned, "What are you talking about?."

"You're… horny after childbirth because you're my imprint."

A blush crept up my neck into my cheeks, "That doesn't make sense."

He kissed my ear, "It does. Remember I once told you that our imprints are the perfect woman to carry our legacy to the tribe? Well you're made to have as many children with me as you possibly can."

I turned to face him as he wrapped his arms around me, "How many children do you want?."

"As many as you'll give me," he said softly.

My eyes casted downwards, "Paul I want more children but not too many, it's too hard to handle and childbirth isn't easy."

He cupped my cheek in his hand, looking me dead in the eye, "I know that honey, just a few more."

"Not yet though, we're still very young."

"How many do you want?," he asked curiously.

I bit my lip, "Four?."

He smiled, "Four it is."

And with that he placed a soft kiss to my lips before wrapping me up in his arms as I drifted off to sleep, dreaming about the children we would have.

* * *

The sound of something smashing in the kitchen downstairs followed by Paul's cursing woke me up. A month had passed by and Noah was growing bigger and more beautiful with each day. However Paul wasn't in the best of moods lately and I worried about him.

Whatever it was that was bothering him he wouldn't tell me, saying it wasn't a big deal. At times he'd look ashamed and hopeless. But it was going too far, his temper was getting out of hand so jumping out of our bed quickly, I ran downstairs to him in my sweatpants and tank top.

"What the hell Paul?." Three glasses and one plate were shattered to a million pieces on the floor.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, "I'll clean it up."

He was a mess. His hair was disheveled, his white vest stained with oil and his jeans ripped and worn, his body quivering slightly as he bent down to gather up the pieces.

"Please tell me what's going on," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

Looking up at me briefly he replied, "Nothing, it doesn't matter."

"Paul!," I shouted, "Stop this, stop blocking me out, I want to know what's going on!."

He ignored me completely as he scooped up the last remaining pieces and threw them into the trash can.

"Paul!." I ran over to him, grabbing his face in my hands, "What. Is. Going. On!?!."

He looked away from me, "It's nothing, just forget it. I'm sorry."

"Tell me or I'm taking Noah back with me to Brooklyn."

"Don't say that," he hissed, "Don't you ever say that to me again."

I pushed him away from me then, "Tell me or I leave."

He pulled his vest over his head, "I need to run."

"Paul if you don't tell me I swear I'll-."

The air was knocked out of me as he crushed me to his chest in a bear hug, his clothes all over the floor, "When I get back I'll tell you."

"But-."

"Later," he said before running out of the kitchen, nude.

I sighed. This secrecy thing was really getting to me, of course I wouldn't really run to my parents in Brooklyn with Noah but I had no idea of what else to say. He was driving me crazy with his temper and the amount of things he'd broken.

Not to mention the fact that almost every time he lost control he woke up our son and had him screaming crying for the rest of the night. I'd have to stay up till four in the morning then, cradling our bundle of joy in my arms until he fell asleep.

Right now I could hear our baby crying up in his room.

I ran up to him as quickly as I could, lifting him up out of his crib and cradling him to me.

"It's okay now Noah, I'll make you a bottle."

Ten minutes later I was downstairs in the living room watching the TV as I held Noah in my arms. He seemed to be very thirsty, taking as much milk as he could. Silent tears fell down my cheeks as I watched his innocent face.

He was adorable and grew more and more like Paul each day. The fact that his father was a werewolf/shape shifter worried me, I didn't want our baby to start phasing when he got older. It just didn't seem fair.

I didn't want my son out in the forest fighting off vampires, I wanted him to live a normal teenage life, a life his father never had. Not that I despise the pack being wolves, I loved it actually but it had its downsides.

For example: The state Paul was in after the newborn fight.

"Is he alright?," he asked, appearing in the doorway.

"Well he is now," I replied, avoiding his gaze.

"Look I'm sorry honey, I'm just…," he trailed off.

"You're just what?," I asked annoyed just as Noah fell asleep, the bottle falling from his mouth onto the floor.

"Take him upstairs then we'll talk."

So I did just that.

"Okay, tell me," I ordered, walking into our bedroom as he lay on the bed in a pair of white boxers.

He patted the space next to him as I crawled in.

"There's two things, one worse than the other."

I propped myself up on my elbow, looking up at him, "What are they?."

He ran a hand through his hair, "My job isn't paying enough and I'm afraid that we'll end up broke."

"But we were doing fine, what happened?."

"We weren't Fay." He gazed down at me, "I just didn't tell you… I didn't want to worry you, especially since we have Noah now."

I rubbed his arm affectionately, "I could always get a job."

"No! No way, I will not have you out there working, you need to look after Noah. That's my job Fay."

"But if I don't get a job then we'll be struggling Paul, I don't want that."

"Don't you want to raise Noah properly?."

"I do." I sighed, "It's just an idea."

"Well forget about it okay, you will raise our child properly and I'll bring in the money, I just have to figure something out."

"Okay… so what's the other thing?," I asked.

His eyes turned dark, "There's a leech passing by the area constantly, we can't catch him, he's faster than others and I'm worried."

I gulped, "About what?."

"About you and Noah, leaving you both here when I go to work while that leech is on the loose."

"Oh Paul."I scooted closer to him, snuggling up into his side, "We'll be fine as long as one of the pack is watching us."

"But I can't help it Fay." He let out a shaky breath, "You and Noah are my life, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you both."

"Paul please stop." I kissed his chest, "Nothing will happen to us, I promise."

He reached down to my waist, pulling me up his body, "I love you so much."

"And I love you, so does Noah," I replied as I pressed my lips to his.

He returned the kiss eagerly, pushing his tongue into my mouth as they moved together, neither of us fighting for dominance.

I had an idea in my mind though.

* * *

Paul's shift started at seven in the morning till three in the afternoon. My secret job started at nine in the morning till two in the afternoon. I had applied for a job a week ago at a small grocery store in Forks. Figuring it wasn't big and hardly anyone went in I knew no one would find out about it.

The only problem was Noah, I hated to leave him with Mandy a girl I knew from school. She was very nice and always polite, also a straight A student. She was heading off to college in a few months time but agreed to babysit for me to earn some cash.

I had to tell her that Paul had no idea about this, she was reluctant at first but gave in once I gave her my puppy dog eyes. So considering she knew, I unplugged the phone and told her not to answer the door if anyone stopped by.

To be honest I felt very guilty about not telling Paul and leaving my baby behind but I was doing it with a good heart and when the day came where Paul told me he had no money I'd surprise him with what I earned here.

I wasn't planning on working there long, just three months at the most.

Paying the taxi man, I quickly slipped out of the cab and ran into the store.

"You must be Fay Scott right?." A friendly girl at the counter asked.

I nodded, "That's me."

"Great, nice to meet you. I'm Paula." She smiled, extending her hand out to me.

I shook her hand and smiled back, "Nice to meet you Paula."

Funny how her name is Paula…

Not long after that I was behind the till. There wasn't many customers like I expected but enough to not find yourself bored. However around noon, a man walked in looking like a model from Abercrombie.

He was standing at about six feet tall, his hair was golden and long, reaching just above his shoulders and was just absolutely stunning. He was dressed fashionably too in an expensive looking black shirt with the first two buttons open, a pair of dark jeans that looked like they had never been worn and shiny black leather shoes.

Flashing both Paula and I a million dollar smile he took a look around the shop, his movements so graceful.

Paula was in awe next to me, her eyes never leaving Mr. Stunning. I on the other hand hadn't been effected at all by him, yes he was gorgeous but he had nothing on Paul, no man ever would. Also, there was something 'off' about him.

"Hello ladies," he greeted in his velvety voice. His British accent very strong.

Paula mumbled a reply before staring longingly at him while I remained calm.

"Can I help you?," I asked.

"Why yes you can actually," he grinned, pulling off his shades.

I swallowed, "Yes?."

He placed a paper on the counter, placing a smooth finger over the name scrawled out, "Would you happen to know where this place is?."

Then it dawned on me.

My body shook as I answered him, "N-No actually, I have no clue where the Cullen's live."

"Oh, what a shame." He turned to Paula, "Do you?."

She nodded, her eyes glazed over with lust as she proceeded to tell him where the Cullen's lived.

"Thank you ever so much." He gave her a smile before turning his attention back to me again, "The names Joel by the way, see you both again Paula, Fay."

I felt bile rise in my throat at the realization that we were wearing name tags and that he… knew our names.

He nodded once in our direction, his golden eyes meeting mine one last time before he exited.

I knew in my heart that after everything Paul had told me a couple of days ago, the vampire passing through our area.

Was him.


	2. Guilty Conscience

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, I was absolutely thrilled to see you guys who read The Truth You Hide add this story to your alerts and favorites. So I really hope you like this chapter.**

**Oh and random question: Who here watches American Idol? If so who are you up for? I'm up for Big Mike :) I love Crystal and Casey too though.**

**Oh and OMG Taylor, Kristen and Rob on Oprah May 13th, can't wait!**

**And one last thing, do you guys think this story should be M rated? Because I wouldn't want anyone to be offended with certain scenes in the story. Let me know :)**

**Chapter 2: Guilty Conscience**

"Hey," Paul smiled as he entered the kitchen, back from work at the garage.

I forced myself to smile back, "Hi."

After meeting Joel at work today, I was in the worst state possible. My whole body shook with fear. Fear for Noah, Paul and me. If only I had known what I was getting myself into I wouldn't have taken the job.

But I couldn't quit now, I just had to hope Joel wouldn't turn up again. The way he looked at me today was freaky though, like he knew something I didn't, whatever it was it obviously wasn't good news. The only thing in his favor is the fact he has golden eyes.

If they had been red I don't know what I would've done.

Paul's warm arms snaked around my waist as he rested his chin on my shoulder, "How are both my babies doing?," he murmured.

I continued frying the steak we would be having for dinner today, holding the pan firmly in my quivering hand, "We're both great and yourself?."

In truth Noah was great, he was such a good baby. Hardly ever cried unless he needed a diaper change, a bottle or just some attention, other than that he was as quiet as a mouse. Sometimes I would walk into the nursery assuming he was asleep until I saw him, his brown eyes wide open as he stared at his tiny hands in wonderment.

He was sound asleep now. When I had arrived home from.. work today, Mandy had been holding him as she sat in the living room. I noticed then that he was good with strangers which was great and not long after she left he was fast asleep.

"Ah, the same as usual, tired and hungry," he replied, kissing my cheek.

"Why don't you sit down, dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

I didn't want him to sit down, I liked him with his arms around me just fine but I couldn't stand there with the guilt of not telling him about my job and the vampire. It was all too much for me.

"Were you out shopping?," he asked as he sat himself down at the table.

I froze, "What? No, why?."

"Well I saw your purse on the sofa when I got in."

"Oh…" I bit my lip, trying to come up with an excuse, "I actually couldn't find it anywhere and so I searched the place until I found it under the sofa, crazy right?."

He chuckled, "Maybe you forgot it there the other night, you know… when my parents had Noah for the night."

I blushed, "Yeah, probably."

A couple of minutes later Paul and I were seated at the table with our dinner. As usual, I made him triple of what I ate. Today though, I hadn't got an appetite. With the guilt and the fear eating at me, I played around with my food with a fork.

On the other hand, Paul seemed to be enjoying his food. Munching away happily until he was finished, a look of content on his handsome face as he leaned back in the chair, stretching along with a big yawn.

"Man that was good, you're the best baby you know that?."

"Thanks…," I replied, staring down at my plate.

"Hey what's the matter? Why aren't you eating?."

I met his eyes, hoping the fear and guilt weren't evident in them, "I don't know, I'm just not hungry."

He placed his hand over mine, "Honey you know you can tell me anything, what is it?."

"Nothing, honest," I said, "Just not hungry, here," I pushed the plate toward him, "Eat up."

"You sure?."

I nodded, "Positive."

This had been the first time I had really lied to Paul and the guilt was making me feel sick. It wasn't just a white lie, no it was a big one. I wasn't hungry because I had gone to work in a shop he had no clue about and happened to meet a vampire there which he also had no clue about.

I was afraid that if I told him it would cause problems for us and I didn't want anything like that happening right after Noah was born. Noah needed me, he was my first baby and I needed to care for him, raise him properly.

But right now I had gotten myself into a mess. An idea which originally seemed great turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to me and Paul had no idea.

"Paul."

"Hmm?," he murmured, swallowing his food.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get a job?."

He set his fork on the table and looked me dead in the eye, "Yes, I'm positive Fay. I don't want you working, I don't want you leaving Noah with a babysitter, I want you to raise him. You're his mother."

"But Paul it-."

"No." he raised his hand to silence me, "I will not have my wife working, that's my job. You take care of our son, raise him to be like you and I."

"Why are you getting so worked up? it's just a job, I could get a part time one."

"Fay," he started, "Where in La Push will you find yourself a part time job?."

I shrugged, "I don't know but Forks has-."

"Forks is out of the question," he said firmly.

"What's wrong with Forks?," I asked. I knew what was wrong with it but I had to ask for my own sake.

He huffed, raising himself up off his seat and walking over to me. His large hand cupped my face, turning it towards him as his other hand pulled up the bottom of his shirt, revealing to me a large red scar on his hip. I gasped.

"That's what's wrong with Forks."

"How? When?." I reached out to touch it, the scar slightly warmer than the rest of his body.

"This morning," he replied.

I looked up into his eyes, "Why aren't you healing?."

"I am, it was far worse than this hours ago."

"Oh Paul," I sniffled, leaning in to kiss it, "I'm so sorry."

He ran his hand through my hair, "I'll be fine."

I pulled away then, "How did this happen?."

I hated to see my husband hurt, it was very rare but when it did happen I was always quite shaken up. Ever since the fight with the newborns he had been okay, never a scratch on him as there weren't any vampires around.

However now it was different, there was a vampire on the loose and my Paul was getting hurt.

With a sigh, he sat down on the chair next to me, "I was heading out to work when Seth cut through my mind, showing me a vampire passing through the area and the smell, where it lead to. So of course we traced the smell all the way through the forest up onto the cliffs, there a vampire stood and before we knew it, he lunged at us.

"Seth and I fought him off as best as we could until the others arrived. I had to get back to work so Sam ordered me to leave while they took out the leech. I was reluctant at first, afraid to leave you and Noah here but they were handling it pretty well. However the leech escaped but Jared and Leah had a good watch on you both."

I took his hand in mine, "So the vampire hurt you?."

He shook his head, "No, Seth did while we were fighting him off."

"Will you be okay? Do you want-."

He chuckled, "Fay I'll be healed in no time."

"But how did you go to work like that? You must have been oozing blood."

"Yeah well my boss Jerry wasn't there when I got there, just me so I was lucky." he grinned.

"What did the vampire look like?."

He frowned, "Dark brown hair, red eyes, tall, mid-twenties."

"Oh…" I trailed off, a wave of relief shooting through my body at the knowledge it wasn't Joel. Joel mightn't be bad after all with the golden eyes and seemingly knowing the Cullen's. He was a vegetarian that was for sure.

"Honey are you sure you're alright," he asked softly, running his fingers down my cheek, "Mom and Dad were wondering whether they could take Noah tonight as well since they're going on vacation to Europe next week."

I nodded, "Sure, that sounds great."

He kissed me softly on the lips, "I'll let them know."

A shiver ran down my spine at the seductive tone to his voice. But I wasn't looking forward to tonight, simply because of what I had been through today. The thought of Joel being a vegetarian eased my nerves a little but why had he been giving me those looks?

And why on earth was I even considering going to work tomorrow? Why don't I just quit like any other normal person would do? Because I'm afraid our family will fall apart without me working. Paul wasn't making enough at the garage to fix certain problems in the house like plumbing. We needed the extra money for the time being.

I just really needed a friend right now but no one would support me. It was a fact.

* * *

The next morning I was a mixture of all sorts of emotions from tired, worn out, exhausted, worried to guilty. Last night hadn't been one of the best nights for me and Paul, in fact it was by far the worst night we'd had in a long time.

Paul's parents had come by to pick up Noah. I was happy to see them as they were a nice couple, I was lucky to have them as in-laws. In all honesty though, I hated them taking Noah. As much as I liked them I just hated leaving Noah with others.

He was still so young, so fragile I was afraid something would happen to him but nothing ever did, I was just worrying over nothing. After all they were his grandparents, they wouldn't let anything happen to him.

Once they had left, it was just me and Paul. The memories flooded back to my mind….

"Hey." He smiled, leaning against the doorframe as I watched TV. Normally I'd appreciate his half nakedness, that's probably why he liked to walk around like that when we were alone in the first place but tonight I hardly noticed.

"What's up?." I forced myself to smile back.

"I was thinking of ordering Chinese take-out."

"Sounds good, just uh… don't bother ordering for me I'm not that hungry."

He stared wide eyed at me, "But honey you didn't eat anything today."

"I know." I swallowed, "Just not hungry I guess…"

"Is it you know? Have you got your eh-."

"No." I blushed, "Just one of those days."

"Well can't you eat something? It's not healthy Fay, you know that."

I diverted my eyes back to the TV, "Seriously I'm fine."

"But I hate ordering for myself only, it's just not right."

"I don't mind, just go ahead and order."

"But Fay-."

"Paul!," I cried, switching the TV off and looking over at him, "I'm fine, just go and order already."

He raised his hands up in the air, "Alright, sorry."

I sighed as he walked down the hall into the kitchen to order. There was no way I was going to get away with anything around Paul, he was bound to find out sooner or later and I wasn't looking forward to it.

His intentions tonight were good that's for sure. We used to always do this; sit in the living room with a DVD playing as we stuffed our faces with take-out then we'd fool around a little before he'd carry me up to our room.

Sometimes we'd just lay there in the comfort of our own bed and fall into a blissful slumber or sometimes we'd lay there kissing each other as we made sweet love. Waking up in his arms was perfect, everything I ever wanted.

Tonight though, it was completely different.

"You up for a movie?," he asked, kissing my shoulder as he snuggled up next to me on the sofa.

The smell of his aftershave and cologne invaded my nostrils, sending a sort of calmness throughout my body, it was just such a Paul smell. His arms were wrapped around me loosely, the heat from his body slightly warmer than normal.

I shrugged, "Whatever you want."

He had just finished eating three pizzas. Yeah, he decided against Chinese take-out as I wasn't having any.

His soft lips pressed against my shoulder again as one of his hands flew to my side, tickling me.

"Paul! Please… please… stop it, not now," I gasped out. Not in a playful mood.

"Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed? I don't mind," he said softly.

I shook my head, feeling bile rise up in my throat.

Paul was so oblivious, so innocent right now. He had no idea what I was up to and what I was going through, I knew he'd be furious with me if he knew about it. And there was no way I was going down that road tonight.

If only I hadn't thought up the stupid idea in the first place I could be enjoying my free night with Paul.

"Fay, what's the matter, something's wrong I know it, what happened today? You were out weren't you?." He fired the questions at me, his hot breath fanning my face causing me to squirm away from him. I wasn't able for his temperature right now.

"No, I'm fine, maybe I'm coming down with something." I lied.

He wrapped his burning arms around me tighter, burying his face into my neck, "I love you so much Fay, don't lie to me please."

"I'm not… lying. I'm just… confused and… oh Paul please," I moaned. The all consuming heat was too much for me.

"Please what?," he whispered, kissing his way up my jaw.

It was obvious he was taking me up the wrong way, he thought I wanted him.

"Please just… I need to go… I feel h-horrible."

With those last words, Paul froze in his actions as I shoved his arms away. I was up off the sofa mere seconds after that, bolting out of the room and out of the house through the back door.

"Fay!," he called after me.

I ignored him and started running towards the opening of the forest before me. I needed to get away, to clear my mind, to breathe fresh air into my lungs without the company of anyone. The forest seemed to be calling out to me.

It wasn't a safe place to run to, I knew that but neither was working in a store with a vampire nearby.

"Fay stop!." His warm hand grabbed my arm, stopping me from entering the forest.

"Let me go!." I tried to free my arm from his grasp but failed.

"Stop it! Stop this madness!," he roared. Both his hands on my shoulders now as he spun me around to face him.

He was angry, very angry.

"Please Paul," I whined, tears spilling onto my cheeks.

"Are you crazy?," he asked, his hold on my shoulders tightening, "Running off into the forest? Knowing that there are vampires out there? Are you trying to get yourself killed?.

A sob escaped me, "I just want to be alone."

"Do you not care about Noah huh? A baby you and I brought into the world to love and raise? And what about me?."

"Paul it's not like that."

"Then what is it Fay, what is it? Tell me!."

His dark eyes scanned my whole face, looking at me as though I were crazy. Maybe I was crazy? Or maybe I was just overreacting? I could tell him about what happened today and never go back to work in that place again.

Or I could keep my mouth shut, earn us some money and go back to work in hopes that Joel wouldn't return. But I just couldn't wipe the look in his eyes off my mind, a look he only gave me and not Paula.

I had a feeling he knew about me, knew who I was and who I was married to. He knew that I knew he was a vampire. Perhaps I had given myself away with the shocked look on my face? Either way Joel would return and I'd rather he return to the store while I was working and not my home near my baby.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, collapsing onto him.

His arms wrapped around me instinctively, "Just tell me what's wrong, I'll make it better, I promise."

"It's nothing, let's just forget this."

"No." he pulled away, holding me out at arm's length, "You're lying, I can feel it."

"Paul," I groaned, "Sometimes I just need to keep things to myself, I'll be fine. Honest."

"Fay!," he hissed. Letting go of me as he started to pace around our back yard, running his hand through his hair.

"Look I'm sorry about earlier, I just kind of lost it, it won't happen again."

He stood directly in front of me, frozen. Paul always looked god-like to me with his perfectly defined muscles, height and Beautiful face. Especially now as he stood there in all his shirtless glory, clad in a pair of jean cut offs.

"Us Quileute's, us werewolves we can't stand it if our imprint rejects, hurts or lies to us. Not to mention if she hurts herself. We would do anything for her no matter what the cost. Our imprint is our other half, we're one Fay. I'm your other half, when we come together we are one and the same."

"I know-."

"We created something so beautiful, something only you and I could with our love and our genes. Our son, Noah. He is here because of us and he must be loved and cherished like no other. But my imprint," he paused, looking me dead in the eye, "Refuses to be honest with me, ignorant to the powerful feelings I have for her."

"I'm-." I started but he cut me off once again.

"It hurts when you hide things from me Fay, it hurts badly. And when things like this come between us, between our family it only tears us apart. Of course a wolf and his imprint, his mate cannot be separated but it's painful to live with them, be around them when they're dishonest. So tell me now, what it is that's bothering you. Remember Fay, your pain is my pain."

I stared at my husband dumbfounded at the end of his very long speech. It sounded memorized and very like how the tribal elders spoke such as Old Quil and Billy Black. Yet it wasn't because it was spoken from his heart.

There was no way I was going to tell him now though, that could wait. I'd just have to find a way to get him off my back but lying was hard, almost impossible. I would apologize soon enough, my body couldn't stand my dishonesty.

"You know when you make a decision which at first seems fantastic then it turns out the complete opposite?." He nodded for me to continue, "Well what if I made a wrong decision and it's bothering me?."

"Well why don't you just share it with me so you can get past it?," he replied.

I shook my head, "No, not tonight. It can wait, just leave it for now Paul please."

He sighed, "Fine but you have to tell me Fay, I can't wait that long."

After that we headed back inside in silence, both of us not speaking a word. Paul called it a night giving me a disappointed look before he headed up the stairs, his head hung and his shoulders hunched as though he were carrying a heavy weight on his shoulders.

The TV was still on in the living room but instead of watching it, I curled up on the sofa and cried into a cushion. I was always one for beating myself up about things and blaming things on myself but this was by far the worst.

I was glad at that moment that Noah was with his grandparents because I was an emotional wreck. The way I was behaving around Paul was awful too, I felt so sorry for him. He didn't even react that badly. He just seemed hurt.

So I switched the TV off and headed upstairs into our room, it was pitch dark, my eyes needed time to adjust to the light before I could make him out on the bed lying flat on his stomach, his face turned away from my side.

"Paul," I whispered, slipping in next to him and running my fingers through his hair.

"Mmm?," he murmured.

I pressed my lips to his shoulder blade, "I love you."

But the night hadn't ended like that, in fact it had just gotten worse. Paul quickly responded to my kisses and words of love, returning them eagerly and like I had assumed the minute I stepped foot into the bedroom, we had sex.

Yeah it wasn't making love like usual, no it was raw, eager, hungry sex. He wasn't gentle, loving, caring and neither was I, we just fulfilled our needs and desires in less than ten minutes. I couldn't blame him for not wanting to be more romantic that night though, he was upset.

It was after the sex that I burst into tears at his side.

"Fay," he groaned while he lay next to me, panting hard.

"J-Just ignore m-me," I sobbed out.

"Is it me? Am I the mistake you were talking about? All this? Our lives together?," he spat angrily, hovering on top of me now.

I blinked away my tears, "No, never-."

"Then what is it huh? Am I not satisfying you in bed?."

"No!," I hissed, pushing at his chest but he wouldn't budge.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me," he growled.

"Paul we've already had this conversation a while ago!."

"It's me, it has to be. You pushed me away when I kissed you on the sofa earlier and you're crying now right after we-."

"Just leave me alone! Go sleep somewhere else, I don't want you right now," I told him. Regretting the words the instant they left my mouth.

Rejection crossed his features as he pursed his lips, his dark eyes lowering with hurt before he crawled off me. He stood next to the bed, his naked body glistening with sweat as the moon cast a glow through the window.

His eyes met mine for a moment and that one look said the one thing that wasn't true. That I didn't want him.

I couldn't speak because I knew I had said something so wrong and I had no idea how to make it right. So with one last lingering look, he walked away and out the door.

The night was ruined.

Which brings me to where I am now, laying in an empty bed wide awake at seven in the morning. Feeling miserable, alone and regretful. He was probably running through the forest now, heading to work.

Him and I decided that it be better if he left the car at the house in case Noah and I needed it. We both knew it wasn't exactly easy for him carrying all those clothes around with him every morning but that was our only option.

Last night had been horrible. At first things seemed to be going okay, a lot smoother than I had thought but then everything fell apart when I told him to sleep elsewhere, I hadn't even denied his accusation about whether he was the reason to my mistake.

I could only hope he'd forgive me.

* * *

"You look nervous." Paula pointed out three hours after I arrived.

I sat myself down on a stool behind the counter, "Nah just had a little argument with my husband."

There was no way I was telling her about Joel.

Her jaw dropped, "You're married?."

I chuckled darkly, "Yeah…"

"Oh my god! Like how old are you?."

"Eighteen."

She stared at me wide eyed, "How old is your… husband?."

"Eighteen."

"You guys are so young! That's just… wow. How long?."

"Oh like eight months now, loving every minute of it."

She crouched down next to me, an excited smile on her face, "Are you guys planning on starting a family?."

I bit my lip, "We already have."

"What!."

"Yeah, a baby boy, he's only a month and a week old." I smiled for the first time that day at the thought of Noah.

"Aw," she cooed, "Funny I don't remember seeing you at Forks High last year…"

"I went to the Quileute Tribal School."

She stared at me in confusion, "In La Push?."

I nodded, "Yeah I live there, my husband in Quileute."

"Woah! I heard the guys up there are buff," she winked, "I remember one guy, he was like huge! He arrived at our school looking for Bella Swan."

"Oh," I laughed, "Jacob."

"You know him?," she asked incredulously.

"Yep, he's my friend actually. He's also like family to my husband."

"Awesome, so what's your husband's name?."

"Paul."

She laughed, "So it's my name, male version."

"Exactly."

"And your son, what's his name?."

"Noah."

"Well congratulations hon!," she said brightly, wrapping me up in a hug.

Paula wasn't a shy person, the exact opposite actually. I had gotten to know a lot about her in the space of three hours, she was a senior in Forks High, had three brothers all older than her, she lived with her grandparents as her own parents were away on business and she was single but had a crush on her best friend, Tom. All in all she was very friendly and I was lucky to be working with her.

On the other hand, working with normal human girls like Paula had its downsides. She was ignorant to the mythical dangerous world out there, filled with bloodthirsty vampires or even the vegetarian ones. Either way they were all vampires and who knows when a golden eyed one might lose control? That's why I never really understood Bella and Edward.

However that wasn't the point, the point was Paula would welcome any sort of vampire into this store and would most likely go off with them if she was asked. Their beauty and charm always seemed to dazzle the young girls, drawing them in.

Anyway much to my relief the day passed by quickly without an appearance from Joel. Customers filed in and out of the store, some friendly, some grumpy, some quiet and some plain crazy. I was nervous at first but I was able to handle it none the less.

When my shift finally ended, I waved goodbye to Paula before running out to my car and heading back home with a relieved smile on my face.

I'd have to make it up to Paul somehow, maybe I could drop by at the garage and bring him lunch? They do say the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, although somehow in this situation that didn't seem true.

What I didn't see coming when I turned a corner onto an empty road in Forks was my car breaking down. It just stopped, right in the middle of the road and there wasn't a car in sight. I was stranded and pissed!

"Oh for crying out loud!," I whined as I turned the key in the ignition tons of times, the engine starting then failing on me again.

My mobile vibrated on the seat next to me so I picked up, it was a text from Kim.

**Hey, y aren't u answering da door? R u ignoring me?**

Oh great.

**Oh Kimmy, hey. I'm out, just grocery shopping. Sorry xx**

She replied instantly.

**Wat? But Jared said it wasn't safe out ryt now, a leech is around, the pack are all chasing it..**

My face paled.

A vampire was around just about anywhere while I was stuck on some deserted road in Forks. What if one of the pack saw me? Paul would go completely insane, especially with how angry with me he must be right now.

I needed to get home as soon as possible before that eventually did happen.

So I hastily stumbled out of the car and headed over to the hood, pulling it open as smoke rose from it, wafting into my face. I was terrible with cars, had absolutely no idea how they worked and how to fix them. The only thing I did know was how to drive one.

"Need help with that, _Fay_?," a velvety voice asked behind me.

I froze.

Joel.


	3. Alone

**A/N: Hey all. Thanks a million for the reviews, really delighted you're all liking the story.**

**Chapter 3: Alone**

A million thoughts crossed my mind the instant I heard his voice, most of them telling me to run. But I knew it was no use, he was a vampire and there was no escaping him. My humanness was just helpless against his immortal powers.

Sucking in a deep breath and praying silently for my life, I turned around slowly to face the cold one.

He was of course as stunning as he had been when I first saw him, his long golden hair blowing back in the cool breeze as he stood there like a marble statue. His smile was friendly yet dangerous and his eyes were a shade darker than they were yesterday.

It was actually quite funny how a real life vampire could dress so normally in a pair of jeans and a simple white t-shirt along with a pair of sneakers. Hollywood had definitely got it all wrong, vampires dressed casually like humans. It made their job easier.

"I'm not here to hurt you," he said. His smile fading as he took in my terrified expression.

"Y-Y-You're a v-vampire," I stuttered. Afraid of what he had in store for me.

He nodded, "Almost."

I let out a shaky breath, "A-Almost?."

"Fay dear, if I don't get your car fixed your _friends_ will find you here with me, do you want that?."

I shook my head 'no'.

"Alright then, if you'll excuse me I'll only take a minute."

I did as I was told, stepping to the side on shaky legs as he messed around with the engine of my car in such a speed that his movements were a blur. I almost gasped but I fought against it, afraid of drawing more attention to myself.

Although I was still terrified of this… man, vampire or whatever he was, I felt slightly relieved that so far so good he didn't mean any harm. In a way he was quite friendly, maybe he was like the Cullen's?

Twenty seconds after messing around with my car, he turned to me with a genuine smile on his face, "All done."

"Thanks," I squeaked out, afraid to move.

He chuckled, "I don't bite… humans if that's what you're afraid of."

"I…I." I couldn't find any words to speak. Being around him was just plain scary.

"Maybe we can talk some other time, I mean no harm. Anyway you better get home." He paused, sniffing the air, "They're close."

With one quick intake of air I dashed to my car, strapped myself in and drove off towards La Push as fast I could. I hadn't got a clue whether Joel was still standing there or not, all I knew was that I was away from him.

Yet somewhere deep inside me believed that he was harmless, I was still afraid. I was also afraid that Paul would smell him on the car or even on me although I hadn't touched him. So I decided to take the car to the car wash and then take a shower once I got home.

The car wash hadn't taken long and I was soon pulling up outside my house.

Noah was still with his grandparents so I had given Mandy the day off, however I had to collect Noah soon before Paul got home. He'd probably be angry I hadn't taken the baby home sooner.

When I finally entered the house though, I could hear Paul singing a lullaby in Quileute upstairs. He must've taken Noah home, luckily for me Mandy wasn't around or I would have been in deep trouble.

Tip-toeing into the kitchen, I stripped off all my clothes, threw them into the washing machine, started it and pulled a clean towel over me before heading upstairs.

Thankfully I hadn't bumped into Paul on my way into the bathroom and soon enough I was scrubbing away at my body and shampooing my hair thoroughly. There probably was no smell of a vampire from me but you can never be too careful.

"Hello Kim?."

I phoned Kim straight after I had gotten my tank and sweatpants on after my shower, feeling bad for not being there earlier when she came around.

"Fay, I assume you're home now?."

"Yeah, look sorry about earlier."

"It's fine really."

"Okay well uh are you at home now?."

"Of course! Lucky I was home when Jared jumped in through my window or he would have been pissed I left the house when he told me not to," she giggled.

"Yeah…"

"So how's Noah? He's so cute."

"He's fine, I think he's sleeping now."

"Oh my gosh that child is always sleeping!."

I laughed, "Nah not really, he's just quiet."

"Hey Fay?."

"Yeah?."

"Emily and Sam are having a barbeque around eight, you're coming right?."

"Eh… I don't really know, I-."

"Great, see you at eight!."

The phone line went dead right after that. I shook my head, Kim _would_ have to do that.

As I made my way into Noah's nursery, the smell of cooking wafted up the stairs into my nostrils. It had to be Paul. In all the time I've lived with him he had never cooked anything, absolutely nothing. Giving me the 'You're a better cook' excuse and by the smell of what he was cooking downstairs, he was far from bad.

I lifted Noah carefully out of the crib, he was wide awake and making some very cute baby sounds. Placing a kiss on his soft cheek, I cradled him to my chest as I searched through his drawers looking for a clean baby grow.

Once I had him cleaned and dressed, I placed him back in his crib so I could get dressed. I opted for a casual look, just a simple pair of black pants and a white shirt along with black flats to match. Nothing special.

Combing my hair, I thought back to my encounter with Joel. It was crazy to think that I Fay Scott had actually met and talked to another mythical creature. I was almost positive he was a vampire yet he said 'almost'. What was that supposed to mean?

However I wasn't going to dwell on him today, he seemed alright so I was just going to forget about him and enjoy the barbeque, maybe even patch things up with Paul. That's if he'd even talk to me.

* * *

"Fay, baby Noah!," Emily greeted brightly as I arrived at her doorstep with Noah in his pram.

"Hey, Kim called, said you guys were having a barbeque?."

"Yeah, I phoned her first as your phone was dead or something… anyway come in." she pulled the door open wider for us as I pushed the pram into the hall, Emily shutting the door behind us.

"Where's Paul?."

I diverted my gaze to the floor, "We're not talking."

"Oh my, anything you'd like to tell me?."

"Yeah I'll tell you in a sec, where's Kyle ?," I asked, looking around for Emily and Sam's five month old son.

"He's not here," she started, heading into the kitchen as I followed, "Sam took him to see his uncle, he'll be back soon though. I need a break."

I laughed, sitting myself down on a chair at the table as Emily started chopping up potatoes. Usually whenever they were having a get together I liked arriving early to chat with Emily and help her out in the kitchen. Today though, I was exhausted. Paul took the car somewhere when I left the house so I had to walk to Emily's, a whole fifteen minutes away.

In all honesty Paul could be a jerk sometimes. No matter what was said between us last night I don't think it gives him an excuse to take the car when he knew me and Noah were heading out. I hated taking our baby out into the cold.

Just then Noah started crying which caused Emily to give me a sympathetic smile as I lifted him out of the pram and held him to my chest, patting his back gently.

"So what happened between you two? That's if you want to talk about it," Emily said, taking a seat across the table.

I let out a sigh, "I was having a rough day… a crazy one actually. Noah was at his grandparents so it was just me and Paul. Anyway I kind of ran out the back door and he was confused and angry with me for heading towards the woods-."

"Why would you do that Fay?."

I shrugged, "Like I said, rough day. I guess it was just PMS but I needed to get away, get some fresh air. However when he got me to calm down and we headed back inside, Paul went to bed so I followed him about ten minutes later. We eh-."

Emily smirked, "I get the point, then?."

"Then." I blushed, "I started crying and he thought the reason to all of my miserable mood was him so we argued until I told him that I didn't want him around and that he should sleep elsewhere. He looked at me Emily, like I don't know how to put it… like I rejected him or something."

She nodded, "When a pack member is told to sleep in a separate bed by his imprint it's very hurtful to them. They spend the rest of their time dwelling on the rejection until they make up. It's all part of the bond, they can't help it."

"Ugh," I groaned, "I didn't mean it like that Em, I swear."

"I know you didn't, did you tell him what it was that was bothering you though?."

I shook my head, "No."

"Do you want to talk about it?."

"No, it's something personal. Not a big deal."

"Alright then… Fay?."

"Yeah?."

"Do you… do you want more children?."

"Absolutely," I smiled enthusiastically, "In a couple of years."

"Really?," she beamed, "How many?."

I bit my lip, "Four."

"Aw that's wonderful, me and Sam want three."

I zoned out after that, just staring off into space thinking about Joel. What had he meant by 'almost' today? Surely he was a vampire, there was no mistaking those inhuman golden eyes. I wanted to know though.

There was something very intriguing about him but something very scary as well. I dreaded meeting him again, how did I know for sure that he was harmless? Yet somewhere deep inside of me wanted to learn more about him. Perhaps it's because I've never spoken to a vampire before?

These strange thoughts about wanting and not wanting to meet him again frightened me a little. It was as if I was betraying Paul and our family by even considering meeting Joel again. But I was only human, wasn't I?

"Hey babe." Sam smiled as he entered the kitchen carrying his son Kyle in his arms, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Hey Fay."

"Oh hey Sam," I replied before baby Noah started crying again. I held him to me, hushing and speaking softly to him in an attempt to get him to quiet down but none of it worked.

I was suddenly aware of two eyes burning into the me, goose bumps rising up on my skin and my heart rate picking up. Slowly, I lifted my head up to meet Paul's intense stare. In all honesty, I had no idea how to respond to him.

He made his way over to me then and without as much as a word, he took a crying Noah out of my arms and cradled the bundle of joy to his chest.

My jaw dropped when his cries died down and within minutes he was fast asleep in his father's arms. Paul placed a kiss on his forehead before placing him back in his pram and walking back out of the kitchen, leaving me dumbstruck.

Emily and Sam chuckled quietly to themselves at my expression before Sam left the kitchen to take a sleeping Kyle upstairs.

Kyle was basically a mixture of Sam and Emily. His skin dark like theirs, big brown eyes like Emily and the same shaped mouth as Sam. His hair was a dark brown and very curly, he was such an adorable baby. Good humored too.

An hour later we were all out the back, the guys starting the barbeque and the girls setting plates of blueberry muffins, brownies, cookies and many more sweet foods on the tables outside.

Seth, Brady, Embry and Colin were all seated around a fire, chatting away while they waited for others to join them. Tonight I wouldn't sit with them for long, knowing all too well that I had a one month old baby to keep an eye on as he slept in his pram which I had moved into the living room.

Twenty minutes later and everyone was seated around the burning fire. I was sitting next to Kim as she told me about her and Jared making up.

"So my mom sat me down and had a talk with me and so dad…" her voice grew lower and lower until it disappeared. I wasn't paying attention, tonight I wasn't capable of doing that but I was capable of watching my husband.

Paul sat across the fire, the flames casting an orange glow over his face and his naked torso. It was completely dark out now, a half moon hanging high in the sky. A dark pair of eyes watched me intensely, causing me to look away briefly.

He was still angry, still upset over the previous night. The rejection and hurt written all over his face as he sat on a log next to Jared, never taking his eyes off me.

I excused myself as Kim continued to ramble, making my way as fast as I could into the house in hopes to get away from Paul's menacing stare. Noah was still asleep in the living room so I ran upstairs into the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face.

Footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs and down the hall, towards the bathroom. I knew who it was but instead I just looked at myself in the mirror as he entered the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him.

The tension was heavy. Very heavy.

"Haven't you got anything to say to me?," his deep voice asked.

I continued to stare at the mirror, "Not right now."

"Not even an apology?."

"I said not right now."

"Look at me."

I forced myself not to.

"Fay."

I ignored him.

"Look at me!," he ordered. His voice deep and hard.

"What!," I spat. Turning around to face him, my back against the sink.

He had his back against the door, his hands balled up into fists at his sides and his body quivering slightly. Apparently he had intended to look decent tonight but had obviously phased and destroyed his shirt as now he only wore a pair of black jeans and black leather shoes, his upper body bare.

My whole body ached to be in his arms, wrapped up in his warmth, his smell. He was beautiful tonight and as his imprint, I appreciated it. However things weren't so peachy with us right now and I would not apologize for what I said last night, I wanted to have a proper conversation. Sam and Emily's bathroom was _not_ the place to do it.

"After last night you have NOTHING to say?," he asked incredulously.

I shook my head, "No, definitely not under these, " I gestured around me, "Circumstances."

"You think circumstances matter in this situation? We're married Fay! We do everything together, we have a son together for crying out loud!."

"I don't care! This isn't the proper way to do things, just go Paul, I'm not in the mood for this."

He growled, "You keep pushing me away don't you? Just like last night."

"Last night I didn't push you away, I was just… just… not myself."

"No, you're lying."

"I am not!."

"Yes you are."

"I'm not!."

In a split second he was right in front of me, his right hand gripping the side of my face and his other gripping my waist, "You're hiding something from me Fay, I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it throughout my body. Tonight you're hiding it though, you're forcing yourself to smile, forcing yourself to be normal but I can see it, I know you so well. You can't hide everything from me and this." His face inched closer to mine, the tip of his nose brushing against mine, "Whatever this is, I'll figure it out and then you'll realize that by hiding it, you just made things worse."

"I…I… I'm not…" I was panicking, afraid of him finding out.

"Shush, don't bother but tonight when you're alone in _our_ bed, I want you to remember this," he whispered as he crushed his mouth against mine in an open mouthed kiss. His tongue wet and long diving in and out of my mouth without my permission and his sharp teeth, nipping… pulling on my bottom lip.

I was completely taken by surprise, unsure of how to respond. But he didn't care, his lips continued to move against mine as his grip on my waist tightened, holding me against him, his body flush against mine.

A gasp escaped me at the feel of him against me, how excited and turned on he was as he sucked my lips into his mouth. I surrendered myself to him, his large hand moving from my waist to grip my backside as he bucked himself into me.

Just when I really started to get into it, he pulled away completely and was standing back at the door, his body glistening with sweat.

"Remember that, tonight, tomorrow and for as long as you want because you won't be having that again anytime soon."

And just like that he left the bathroom while I stood there turned on, disappointed and confused. What did he mean by that?

* * *

That night I _did_ remember it, not only as a memory but as a dream as well. It was hard waking up then and finding the space next to you on the bed empty. Paul had slept in our old room just like he had done the night before.

Except last night he seemed pleased with himself. He took Noah up to his nursery, fed him a bottle and put him to sleep as I took a much needed shower. Afterwards he just retired to that bedroom without a word or a glance.

To be honest I _was_ hurt but what did I expect? I wasn't nice to him, I hadn't even apologized so why would he even bother saying goodnight? I still didn't understand what he meant last night at Sam and Emily's though.

' Remember that, tonight, tomorrow and for as long as you want because you won't be having that again anytime soon' he had said. Was he implying that he was going to sleep in that bedroom for the rest of the week, month even? I certainly hope not.

He was gone to work when I woke up so I quickly dressed for work and fed Noah his bottle before Mandy turned up.

I was nervous on my way to work, afraid and yet excited about seeing Joel again. He was just interesting and I really wanted to know what he had meant by 'Almost' yesterday. Maybe I'd find out today?

"Yeah mom, we're all good thanks. How's things over there?."

My mother called during my lunch break so I headed outside to speak to her.

"Great actually, your aunt Suzie is over for the week."

"No way! Did Clara come with her?."

"Yes, she's so grown up!."

"We're the same age mom."

"Ah I know, sometimes I just like to pretend you're still my little girl."

"Yeah…"

"But I won't go there, so anyway we want you over for Christmas, you, Paul and lovely Noah. I miss him already!."

"Oh uh… mom I'm not too sure-."

"Nonsense! You've always got time hon, all you do is stay at home with Noah, please come, just for a week… or two."

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, I'll see what I can do."

"Great! Right so I better go or this phone bill is going to cost."

"Yeah yeah, talk again mom. Love you."

"Love you too hon, tell Paul I said hello and give Noah a kiss for me."

"I will mom, see you."

"See you hon, bye."

With an irritated sigh I shoved my mobile back into my jeans pocket. This whole secret job thing was doing my head in, it was getting harder and harder to hide it. Hell, even Paul was going to be watching me.

"I assume your day didn't go too well did it?." A familiar voice asked.

I whipped my head around to find Joel standing next to me, his long golden hair tied back at the nape of his neck and his attire casual.

"Hi…" I trailed off. Do you say 'hi' to vampires?

He chuckled, "It's alright, you don't have to answer my question, I tend to pry a bit."

"No, I mean," I swallowed, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear nervously, "It's o-ok."

"Right," he smiled, "Well is your car working properly, hope I didn't mess it up?."

"No no, it's great. Thank you.. so much."

"My pleasure. You on your lunch break?."

I nodded.

"Fancy grabbing lunch at the diner?."

My heart rate picked up, "I uh, I don't think-."

"Come on it'll be fine, I'd just like to get to know you, you seem like a nice young lady."

I bit my lip, my eyes drifting to the ring on my finger, "But-."

"Now now, I know you're married, it's not like that. Just a friendly conversation is all I ask."

Dining with Joel wasn't what you would call a good idea, especially as I was married to a werewolf/shape shifter but he intrigued me and at the same time scared the life out of me. But I really wanted to learn more about him and what exactly he was.

So I agreed.

I drove to the diner myself, just a five minute drive from the store while Joel simply said that he'd meet me there. I hadn't seen a car anywhere around so I assumed he ran there like the vampires did… was he even a vampire?

Ten minutes later and we were both seated in a booth across from each other.

The waitress came straight over to us, a wide smile spread across her face as she asked Joel for his order. I knew that she was lusting after him, you could see it in her eyes. Wasn't that how Bella was with Edward?

What's up with vampires and their beauty anyways?

After I placed my order, I stared puzzled at Joel. He had just ordered a chocolate cake slice and coffee but vampires don't eat.

"Something wrong?."

"Oh sorry, no just thinking."

"So tell me about yourself, where are you from?."

"I'm actually from around here," I lied.

He frowned, "The Cullen's mentioned you were from somewhere else."

"Not at all, born and raised here."

"I believe you." He gave me a smile which looked sort of wicked.

"My turn," I said just as the waitress placed our cakes in front of us along with our tea and coffee.

"Ask away," he replied as he took a bite of his cake, "I've tasted better."

I cringed, was he talking about blood?

"How old are you?."

He laughed, "Eighteen."

"So you were born in the same year as me?."

"Oh so you're eighteen too?."

"Yeah…"

"Well then yes."

"What's your full name?."

"Joel Matthews."

"What are you doing in Forks?."

He shrugged, "Change of scene."

"But why Forks?."

"Aren't you going to eat your cake?," he asked, pointing to the plate in front of me.

"Not until you answer my questions."

Dabbing his mouth clean with a napkin the Diner provided, he gave grinned.

"I heard there were vegetarian vampires around this area so I wanted to meet them."

I narrowed my eyes at him, there was something off.

"So you _are_ a vampire?."

"Well," he started, leaning back in his seat, "I'm like you but I'm also like them."

"And that's supposed to mean?."

"I'm a half breed, my mother was human, my father was a vampire, make sense?."

I stared at him wide eyed, my mouth ajar. There was actually a such thing as a half breed? But how, how could a vampire and a human… I didn't even want to go there, it was just too horrible, too bazaar.

My thoughts drifted elsewhere to Miss Bella Swan. She was with a vampire, a vampire she loved and adored so does that mean she'd do that? And have a half breed. What exactly are half breeds anyway? What are their traits?

"How?," I asked him as he stared at me, the corners of his lips twitching into a smile.

"That my dear is for another time, your colleague Paula will be wondering where you are." He winked, "Besides I'm hoping tomorrow I'll be getting some answers from you, after all you never told me about your _husband_."

By the look he gave me it was obvious he knew what Paul was and that itself scared me. I didn't want him to now anything about me and I wasn't sure whether I wanted to dine with him again tomorrow.

With a nod I stood up, my cake and tea untouched. I wouldn't ask him anymore questions because apparently he was no longer in the mood for answering them.

He paid the waitress, leaving her a tip on the table as we headed back outside. His whole body seemed rather stiff, like he had done or said something wrong. It left me feeling uneasy as I said goodbye to him and headed to my car.

"Fay?," he said, his voice soft.

I froze at the contact of his hand on my shoulder, it wasn't as cold as I had imagined it to be, either way I didn't like him touching me.

"Yes?," I replied, my hand on the door as he stood behind me.

His lips were suddenly only centimeters from my ear, his cool breath tickling my cheek, "You smell simply wonderful."

And just like that he disappeared, leaving me horrified and shaky as I stumbled back into my car. I couldn't make out if that was a compliment or a threat.

* * *

When I eventually got home from work that day, I was a mess. Joel's words haunted me throughout the hours, even Paula asked me if I was feeling okay. I knew it was my fault though, I had brought this on myself.

What was I doing having lunch with a half breed? He was practically a vampire! Paul would be completely outraged and disgusted, I should be ashamed of myself. Not to mention Joel said we could finish our conversation tomorrow.

Just the thought sent a shiver down my spine.

Entering the house I couldn't see or hear Mandy anywhere. With my heart frantic in my chest, afraid for my baby, I ran up the stairs into his Nursery to find him sound asleep with his thumb in his mouth.

The tears spilled from eyes, down my cheeks as I stroked his soft cheek with my index finger.

"I love you so much Noah, so so much," I choked out quietly, watching his innocent face.

I let him sleep in peace then and headed towards my room in hopes to find Mandy. What was she thinking, just disappearing like that? She wasn't downstairs, she wasn't in the bathroom so the last place would be my room although I have no idea what she could be doing in there.

Pushing the door open, I took a deep breath and stepped in to find not Mandy but Paul sitting at the end of the bed.

Oh crap.

"Where. Have. You. Been!," he roared. Jumping up off the bed to kick the door shut behind me.

"N-Nowhere, just uh… gone for a drive around Forks," I lied. Jumping with fright at the sound of the door slamming behind me.

He gave me a once over, a look of disgust on his face as he pointed to the bed, "Sit."

I obeyed, not bothering to put up a fight because quite frankly, Paul scared me when he was angry like this.

My eyes stayed glued to the floor as he stood in front of me, "How dare you."

"Paul I-."

"How dare you leave our son here with a stranger!," he hissed. Gripping my chin in his hand and jerking my face up to look him dead in the eye.

In all honesty Paul looked really bad today. The dark circles under his eyes told me he had a sleepless night, his disheveled hair a result of him constantly running his hands through it with stress and his face was filled with complete anger towards me.

My eyes drifted between us for a moment, as usual he was half naked. His shorts worn and a size too small for him. At other moments I loved him looking like this, the shorts always too low on his hips revealing that V that lead to his 'treasure'.

But today although his body was still wonderful, it didn't matter.

"S-She used to be in school with us, she's a nice girl," I squeaked out, more tears spilling onto my cheeks as I looked back up at him.

Paul was so angry, his skin was one hundred times hotter than normal and his face had a mad look to it.

"You don't love him do you? You don't care about our son."

"What!," I shouted, "Of course I love him, how dare you say that to me!."

He let go of my chin, running his hand through his hair as he stared off into space, "How could you leave him here Fay, I trusted you. Damn!." His eyes met mine again, "And you know what really has me worked up?."

"What?," I whispered.

"You're lying to me and I know that you didn't go for a drive around Forks, you went somewhere. And that somewhere is more important to you than our own son, do you know how much that hurts me?."

"Paul please." I reached out, stroking his bare chest, "It's not like that."

"It is, you're my imprint Fay." He fell to his knees in front of me, "We… we're married, we're parents, we do everything together, we tell each other everything but now… now you're different…"

"I'm not honey I'm not, I'm just… it's for the best Paul I promise, someday you'll thank me for what I'm doing. I love you so much, I love you and Noah so much it hurts. Just give me a week and I'll tell you everything. I just really need to sort things out, I'm so confused, so… so scared Paul," I told him, staring deep into his eyes.

"Why are you scared baby?," he asked as he cradled my face in his large hands, "Tell me now, don't leave it till next week."

"I can't," I sobbed, "Next week I will, I promise."

His hands dropped from my face as he leaned in, resting his head against my chest. Warm arms wrapping around my waist, holding me close, "I'll give you a week."

I kissed the top of his head, "Thank you."

He leaned back, gazing deep into my eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too."

He never kissed me though, instead he stood back up to his full height and started taking a few shirts and pants from the closet.

I stared over at him in confusion as he carried the clothes out with him into the hall, me following close behind. He entered the nursery then and grabbed one of the baby bags and stuffed a couple of baby clothes into it along with bottles, soothers and diapers.

"Paul what are you doing?," I asked warily.

He walked over to the crib and carefully lifted a sleeping Noah out of it, cradling him to his chest. Noah was always so calm in his father's arms, it was amazing but that thought quickly left my mind once Paul held Noah with one arm as he shoved his own clothes into the baby bag and picked it up, throwing it over his shoulder.

With a sigh, he answered me, "Noah and I will be staying over at my parents house for the week until you get yourself sorted out."

"What? Are you crazy! You can't do that, he's my baby too. You can't take him away from me!."

He shook his head, "I'm not taking him away from you, I'm giving you space and by this time next week I'll know everything, you promised."

"No please don't leave me here, please," I begged as he brushed past me out into the hall.

I ran after him, grabbing his shoulder before he reached the stairs, panic stricken.

"Fay, let me go."

"Please stay, please. I can't live without the both of you."

Without a response he shrugged my hand off his shoulder and walked down the stairs, holding Noah securely to him.

"Paul answer me!."

He ignored me once again as he reached the door and pulled it open.

"Paul!," I cried.

My heart broke into a million pieces as he walked out that door along with our son. Doing this to me would be looked upon as cruel but I knew deep down that he was only doing it for the best, it just hurt too much to be without them.

And what scared me the most was eventually telling him about Joel, he'll go berserk when he finds out and I'll be helpless.

I ran to the door and watched as he strapped Noah into the baby seat in the back. He was in the driver's seat in no time.

"Please don't go," I mouthed to him as the tears kept on flowing from eyes.

He shook his head 'no' before revving the engine and driving off.

Leaving me lonely and heartbroken.


	4. The Truth I Hide

**A/N: OH MY GOSH, I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER! I'm sure most of you got my PM which explained why and to those who didn't, my laptop wouldn't work so I had to get it fixed. It seems to be working okay now thankfully. So thank you all so much for waiting, I really do hope you all enjoy this! Cheers **

**Chapter 4: The Truth I Hide**

Five days had passed since Paul took Noah away from me to stay at his parent's house. Those five days were the hardest five days I've ever had to endure in months. The hardest month being the time Paul was injured. This was nearly as bad.

The day after he took off I quit my job because I knew my family were more important. Besides how was I supposed to get there? he took the car. And to think that the only reason our family was falling apart was because of my job, the job I never told anyone about and the job that introduced me to a 'half breed', really had me hating myself.

I was hating on Paul too.

How could he just walk away with Noah? I thought imprints couldn't be separated. For me it was near impossible, my whole body felt weak and an ache flowed through my bones, longing to take me back to Noah, back to Paul's arms.

In fact after five days I was still hurting and hadn't got the energy to do anything. I barely ate and if I did it was either a bowl of cereal or a slice of toast. Nope ice cream and chocolate couldn't ease the pain, that only worked for couples who were both human and hadn't got the pull an imprint has.

So how in the world was Paul enduring it? He used to freak out when I slept over at Kim's or Emily's to help with the baby. The instant I'd get home he'd crush me to him, murmuring over and how much he missed me.

Was it not the same for him anymore? Did he not care? Just that thought broke me apart.

Then there was Noah who had the same effect on me. I loved him so incredibly much, he was more than I could ever ask for. Such a wonderful, beautiful, well behaved baby that not only his parents loved but everyone else did too. He completed my world.

Some nights I'd wake up to check up on him then realize he wasn't around. I'd find myself sitting in his nursery, wallowing in my misery and missing him terribly.

And to be honest, this was all my fault.

It didn't help that Paul was hot headed though. The last night I saw him, when he lost it with me in the bedroom really frightened me. I knew by the mad look on his face that if I told him the truth he would have exploded. Just the mention of vampires causes him to quiver.

But I would tell him in two days, I promised.

"He doesn't hate you, you know," Jacob told me, sitting next to me on the porch steps.

Jacob visited me ever since Paul left and I was thankful for his company.

"Well it sure looks like he does," I muttered, staring off into the woods adjacent to the house.

"It's impossible Fay, you're his imprint."

I snorted, "Maybe the spell is broken."

"Oh please." He chuckled. "That's impossible."

I turned my head to face him, "Then how on earth can he stay away?."

"Fay do you seriously think Paul would stay away from you?."

"He's not here now is he?."

He cocked an eyebrow, "Have you forgotten he's also a wolf? Did you know that his favorite place to spend his free time while his parents look after Noah is in your back garden?."

"What? When?."

"Well for the past five days." He smiled. "It helps him sleep at night, by the way he looks like crap! You should see him, he looks ten years older. Guess looking after Noah has aged him."

"Jacob!." I swatted his arm playfully as we both started laughing.

Suddenly he froze, "Fay get inside," he ordered.

"Why what's the matter?."

"I can smell a bloodsucker."

Before I had the chance to even lift myself up off the steps, Jacob picked me up as though I weighed less than a pound and like the speed of light had me standing in the hall as he ran out the backdoor.

I wasted no time in locking all the doors and locking myself up in my room as a chorus of howls echoed through the woods. They had killed the vampire who had been a threat to them so who could this vampire possibly be?

I bit down hard on my lip, drawing blood as I worried that it was Joel. He probably heard somehow that I quit my job and I had a feeling that the last time I had seen him definitely _wouldn't_ be the last time I'd see him.

Then I worried for my baby as Paul was most definitely out with his brothers tracking down the vampire. I really wanted to phone Paul's parents house but I would do this right, I would wait for just two more days. Noah would be fine, I was just overreacting.

Ten minutes later, I found myself sobbing on the phone.

"I miss him so much, is he okay?."

"He's fine love, his grandpa is holding him."

"I just… I just can't wait for two days. I know Paul must have told you we fell out but-."

"No Fay, Paul hasn't said a word to me. To be honest, I'm very angry and confused with him at the moment. Noah needs his mother, just like Paul needed me when he was young and to think he took Noah away from you has really gotten to me and he hasn't even explained why."

My mother in law was even nicer than I originally thought.

"I needed to hear that."

"If I could give you Noah now I would, how about you come over?."

"No… I'll wait, as much as I'd love to."

"Are you sure?."

No… "Yes, positive."

She sighed, "Well I'll let you and Paul work things out but it better be soon, Noah doesn't need this."

And she was right, he didn't. Paul and I were playing childish games instead of acting like two adults and being honest with each other. I guess I should have come clean the minute I met Joel, actually I shouldn't have taken the job in the first place.

I was dumb.

I was stupid.

I was ridiculous.

A sudden banging at the door caused me to jump out of my skin.

"You alright there love?."

"Y-Yes, I'm fine. I better go, thanks for everything, give Noah a kiss for me."

"I will and I'll have a talk with Paul-."

"Bu-."

"Bye, Fay."

I groaned, staring at the phone in my hand. It was so typical of her to hang up on me like that, it was her way of saying 'I'm older, no buts or maybe's'. the thought of her telling Paul I called crying my eyes out was bad enough but her having a talk with him was worse.

There was absolutely nothing I could do about it though.

The banging at the door continued as I hung up the phone hastily and ran towards it, jerking it open.

"What is it Jake?," I asked him, breathless.

"Let me in," he ordered.

I moved aside to let him in and for just a moment I thought of him as Alpha to the pack. He was indeed the rightful Alpha but according to him, he wasn't ready for that type of responsibility yet.

"So?," I asked, shutting the door.

He crossed his arms over his chest, "Who is he?."

"Who's who?."

"You know who I'm talking about Fay, I'm not in the mood for your stupid games."

I felt a pang in my heart when he said 'stupid games', is that what Paul thought of our situation? Stupid? Where else would Jacob get that from? On the other hand, I did know who he was talking about.

Joel.

"Look Jacob can we please-."

"No! this isn't some silly joke Fay, this is serious stuff! There's a vampire out there looking for YOU who also claims to know you and has had lunch with you once. Now if you don't tell me, I'm gonna have to tell Paul."

"He doesn't know?."

He shook his head, "Just me, you're lucky."

"How?."

"Blondie waited until everyone except me phased back to _politely_ ask for your whereabouts."

Jacob looked bitter and… deceived?

"What did you say?."

"Look Fay," he grabbed my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye, "I need to know how he knows you and who he is, your questions can wait."

But I didn't want to tell Jacob because it wasn't fair to Paul, he should be the one to find out first. After all, we wouldn't be in the situation we're in if it weren't for Joel would we? Maybe I'd have to tell Paul sooner… today.

I shrugged out of Jacob's grip, "Let me tell Paul first."

His jaw dropped, "Have you lost it?."

"No," I replied as I opened the front door again, "This.. this vampire, he caused all this between me and Paul. So if I want to fix this, I need to tell Paul first, I promised him."

"Fay this can't wait, besides if you tell me I can assure you no one else will know about it, simple as. But if you tell Paul, the only thing I'm sure will happen is another fight between you both, perhaps even worse."

I rolled my eyes in an attempt to appear brave, "Just leave."

"You're making a mistake."

Jacob was probably right about Paul and I having a fight but it definitely wasn't a mistake. I was being loyal to my husband, my mate, my wolf and even the friendly Jacob couldn't stop me. It was a fact.

"Jacob you don't know anything about me and Paul, what you see in his head is like watching a reality show, it's real but not the real thing. You'll never know what it feels like to be me _or_ Paul."

"What's that supposed to mean?," he spat. Hurt written all over his face.

"It means, unless you imprint yourself, you'll never really know what it's like to be in a relationship with the one person that's destined for you. Instead, you'll always be left in the dark."

I knew that it was a harsh thing to say but at that moment, the words just flew out of my mouth and an apology wouldn't be appropriate.

His dark eyes grew darker with hurt and disbelief, his mouth pulled into a straight line, hiding his true emotions. He gave me a look, a look that said he was disappointed, disgusted and pissed with me before he shoved past me, out the door.

Without looking back, I kicked the door shut behind me and allowed the floods of tears to spill from my eyes and onto my cheeks as I bolted up the stairs, into my room.

To wallow in my self-pity.

* * *

**Paul P.O.V **

'She's partly Quileute… positive she lives here… store in Forks… lunch with… permission… see her'

The jumbled mess of broken dialogue running over and over in Jacob Black's mind was driving me insane. Ever since he phased in, the words never left him and the worst part was that he was trying to hide it from me.

It was obvious to me that it was not Isabella Swan as she hadn't got an ounce of Quileute blood in her so why was he so intent on hiding his thoughts from us? Or was it just me he was hiding them from? No one else was phased.

Either way, it was really pissing me off.

'Jacob would you fucking stop playing those words in your mind like a broken record!.'

'Get lost.'

'I'm really not in the mood for this right now.'

I could picture myself tackling Jacob until he surrendered.

'Ha! As if that'd ever happen.'

'Believe me it will if you don't stop! Phase back to your human self and think all you want.'

A male vampire with long flowing golden hair flashed through Jacob's mind. He was finding it hard to hide whatever it was he was hiding.

'You think I'm enjoying this?.'

'Well you're enjoying teasing me with glimpses of the leech and parts of his dialogue, who the hell is he? And why the fuck are you hiding it from me?.'

'Peace out.'

And just like that, Jacob phased back to the human he was, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Yeah, I was glad he was gone but I couldn't help myself, I wanted to know what he was hiding from me.

Normally he never hides anything from us except his deep conversations in the past with vampire girl, so to think he was hiding something else from us was odd… and quite frankly it was against the rules because it was about a leech!

If anything happened to Fay or Noah I'd kill him.

The past five days were hard enough, not that Noah was any trouble because he wasn't. Whenever my patrolling hours were over, I'd go straight back to my parents house and make sure he was alright.

I'd rock him to sleep, feed him his bottle, sing him Quileute lullabies and do everything I could for him. Most of the time he'd fall asleep, content in his father's arms but there would be times he'd cry hysterically for his mother and there was nothing I could do.

I loved him with my whole heart, my whole being, just like I loved Fay. Both of them meant the world to me and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything were to happen to them.

Deep down, I knew what I was doing was cruel to my love. She didn't deserve any of this, she didn't deserve to be alone by herself without her husband and son but the secrecy was killing me. I couldn't bear to be near her when I knew she was hiding something from me.

Hadn't we always been completely honest with each other? Wasn't it physically impossible for an imprint and a wolf to lie to each other? Sam had told me once that sooner or later the imprint or the wolf- imprint in this case- come clean, having not being able to stand the secrecy.

So when two days finally pass, I'll only hope that she tells me absolutely everything because if she doesn't, I have no idea how I'll be able to stand being around her. It already feels like she's betraying me.

I backed deeper into the woods behind our home as I watched her open the back door and step out into the cool night air.

She was always so beautiful, not matter how she looked. Tonight she was dressed simply in a pair of black sweats and a grey sweater, her long brown hair cascading over her shoulders as she sat down on a step, staring off into the night.

Her expression was one of a heartbroken woman, dried tears visible on her soft cheeks.

And it was hard for me to just watch her when deep inside of me I yearned to comfort her, tell her everything would be alright, kiss away her tears, hold her shivering body close to my warmth.

These loving thoughts, needs and wants caused me to phase back, shocking me at first. Luckily phasing didn't really make any noise so I was positive she hadn't heard anything. However, I wasn't doing okay.

My whole body was consumed with her, burning with a need to be close to her, to touch her, to hold her, to love her. I was so close to giving in as I stood behind a tree trunk, my naked body glistening with sweat under the starlight.

Every move of her body caused the fire in me to ignite, her scent blowing through the wind, up my nostrils. She smelt of fruit, apple to be exact which told me she had just showered.

For a brief moment, our eyes met. I was sure she couldn't see me but the exact direction she was staring at were my eyes and right then I wished she knew I was here watching her, never really leaving her.

But in reality she would probably storm off, angry at what I had done five days ago.

So with a sigh, I reached down and pulled my cut offs on. At the same time, she stood up, gave the woods one more lingering look before stepping back inside the house.

And with that, I left.

"Paul?," my mom called from the kitchen as I entered the house.

"Yeah?," I replied, poking my head into the living room to find my dad holding Noah in his arms, feeding him his bottle.

It brought a warm smile to my face.

"Come in here," she called.

With a roll of my eyes I crossed the hall, into the kitchen to find her holding the phone to her chest.

"Who is it?," I asked seriously.

"Talk to her Paul."

I gulped, "Fay?."

She nodded, "She wants to speak to you… it's urgent."

The instant the word urgent left her mouth, I grabbed the phone out of her hand and pressed it to my ear.

In turn, she left the room.

"Paul?," her soft voice asked over the phone.

I bit my lip, "Hmm."

"I know you wanted me to tell you everything in just two days but-."

"What? You've changed your mind? You need more time? Dammit Fay!," I hissed.

"No! just listen to me."

My whole body was quivering now, "What."

"Something came up today and… and I want to tell you everything," she took a deep breath, "Now."

"Now?," I asked astonished.

"I promise I'll tell you, just come over."

"Alright," I cleared my throat, "See you in a while."

This of course was a surprise to me, I hadn't expected her to ever want to tell me but tonight she sounded eager, like she wanted to and I believed her.

Which brought me to our front door ten minutes later.

* * *

**Fay P.O.V **

It took a lot of courage to phone Paul tonight considering the state I'm in. I'm so worried about telling him everything, afraid of his reaction.

He'd probably get very angry and walk out on me, or maybe he'd scream before leaving… oh and probably bring Noah into it, calling me a bad mother. A failure.

As if I didn't know I was wrong, that I made a mistake. And the worst thing was, that I had let myself get involved with Joel. Hell, I even had lunch with him and now Jacob knows!

Why was Joel looking for me though? What was so intriguing about me that he couldn't just leave me alone. Hadn't he noticed how uncomfortable around him I was? Hadn't he asked himself why I quit my job?

But I couldn't find any answers to my questions, I had been replaying them over and over in my head which only made things worse because now I was worrying about Noah, Paul, the pack and my safety.

What if Joel wasn't who he said he was?

The sudden sound of knocking on the front door pulled me from my thoughts as I dried off the last plate in the kitchen.

I took a deep breath to calm myself in preparation of what I was about to tell Paul, I had no idea what he was going to say or do and I wasn't about to jump to conclusions again. Not when I had to do this right.

Once I reached the front door, my stomach did a little flip. Yes, I couldn't help it, five days was way too long for me not to see Paul and I guess I was a little excited to see his face again.

Placing my hand on the door knob, I pulled it open.

"Paul," I whispered.

Fighting the urge to reach out and embrace him, like my body yearned to, I stood there a moment and raked my eyes over him, from head to toe.

His appearance was nothing out of the usual, jean cut offs, shirtless, barefoot but his face had changed slightly. Jacob was right, he had aged. Yet, that didn't change one thing, he was just as handsome, maybe even more so.

I knew that Paul looking older was a bad sign though and I wanted him to look normal … if things were ever going to be normal between us again.

"You have something to tell me," he spoke.

"Yeah sorry," I muttered before stepping aside to let him in.

We lingered in the hall for a moment, an awkward silence passing between us before I found my voice.

"Let's go out the back."

He followed close behind, the heat radiating off of his body melting into mine. Just that simple sensation brought floods of memories to the front of my mind; Paul and I on the sofa, in the car, on the beach, in the sea, on the grass but I pushed them to the back of my mind.

Focus Fay, I thought.

Reaching the tree line that lead into the woods at the back of our house, I sat down on the ground with my back against a tree trunk while Paul stood awkwardly in front of me.

"You don't-."

"I don't-."

We both spoke at the same time and normally we would laugh it off but tonight there was no trace of humor between us. Just seriousness.

"Sorry…," I trailed off.

He cleared his throat, "So?."

"You're not going to," I diverted my gaze to the space next to me.

"No."

Apparently he had no intention of being close to me tonight.

"Okay," I squeaked out, the hurt of his rejection visible in my voice.

"I haven't got all day." He crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes burning into mine.

In truth, I had no clue where to start but the words spilled from my mouth none the less.

"A couple of weeks ago you told me that you weren't earning enough money at your job and that you were afraid we'd be broke soon."

His head bobbed in agreement as he continued to stare into my eyes, listening to me intently.

"After that I was worried, I was scared that we'd end up having nothing and that we wouldn't be able to cater for our baby. So in an attempt to make myself feel better about us as parents and to help ease my mind at the thought of us eventually having nothing, I searched for a job."

He stiffened, his jaw clenching slightly but his eyes still never left mine.

"Of course La Push had none available so my only other option was Forks. A couple of places needed extra staff but this particular store stood out to me, it was small and basically isolated from everywhere else. I thought that if I got a job there, you wouldn't…"

"Find you." He finished.

"Yeah." I stared down at my hands, "So I got the job and although I was keeping it from you I thought that in the end it'd be a good thing because when you'd eventually come home someday and tell me we hadn't got any money, I could surprise you with the money I earned from working there."

The tears were spilling onto my cheeks at that point because the hardest part was coming.

But before I could even begin to tell him about Joel, he was on his knees in front of me and I was more than a little surprised.

"Fay," he breathed, a sympathetic smile on his face, "It's fine, I'm not mad, I swear."

"But-."

"Shhh, come here."

His strong arms, the ones I had longed to hold me every night for the past five days, wrapped around my shoulders, crushing me to him. And it felt so unbelievably good to be wrapped up in his arms, to feel every muscle of his torso against my soft body.

I knew that this wouldn't last though, that when he found out about Joel he would be pissed and I knew that I should have pushed him away but at that moment I couldn't, it was such a comfort to be with him.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed into his neck. My hands trailing up and down his spine, his skin like silk beneath my touch.

He had no idea what I was apologizing for… yet.

"Fay… baby… I… it's fine, I lo-."

"Paul," I said. I couldn't let him say those three words, not right now, not when he was seconds from pushing me away again.

"I lo-."

"Paul."

"Fay, I lo-."

"Please."

And then my brain went fuzzy, every part of my body tingling with excitement as his full lips attacked my neck with long, lingering kisses.

I was so close to surrendering myself to him, to putting every memory of Joel behind me and pretending that nothing ever happened in the first place. Allow him to make me feel good, to give me what I needed.

But I was nowhere near as cruel as that, besides the imprint wouldn't allow me. I couldn't eat for the past few days because of the secrecy.

"Babe you need more flesh on your bones," he murmured against my collarbone, "You, me and Noah can go-."

"Stop!."

He backed slightly away from me then yet his arms were still wrapped around my shoulders.

"What?," he asked, taken aback.

"I'm not finished…"

A frown appeared on his face, "Finished what?."

"I'm not done telling you everything."

"There's more?."

I nodded.

"Tell me, get it over with so we can go back to normal."

"Okay…" I wiped at my eyes with the backs of my hands.

"I miss you," he whispered, his dark orbs melting into mine.

"I miss you too."

"So tell me everything and we can make it up to each other."

This was the part I was dreading but it was also the part I would finally get it out of my system and I wasted no time in telling him.

"At the store, on my first day, this man walked in, he was different, so exotic looking and had my co-worker swooning after him. There was something off about him though, something I couldn't put my finger on but that all changed when he asked for directions to the…"

"To where?," Paul pushed, eager.

"The Cullen's… he worse shades but when he removed them, I saw the one thing that confirmed everything. He had golden eyes."

Paul's breathing grew heavy with revulsion and anger but I continued.

"That night I was so afraid, so angry with myself for taking the job in the first place. The way he said my name was just… creepy, I regretted wearing the name tag and the look he gave me." I bit my lip.

His eyes were dark and dangerous now as continued to stare at me.

"The next day, I was driving home when my car broke down and all of a sudden he appears and offers to fix it for me. I couldn't say no, I was afraid and basically that was it. I saw him the next day though…"

"And what happened," Paul hissed.

"He wanted to talk, he promised me no harm and the fact that he had golden eyes helped ease my nerves, it meant he was a vegetarian. As much as I didn't want to, I agreed and we went for lunch at the Diner."

His whole body was quivering now as his hold on my shoulders tightened.

"He told me he was a half breed, that his mother was human and his father was a vampire. He could eat like a human and all, to be honest he just seemed like a decent guy. I lied to him, I didn't tell him where I was originally from. Anyway everything good and sincere about him flew out the window when we left and I was getting into our car, he was so close to me and told me in his sickly sweet voice that I smelt simply wonderful. I was so shaken up, so scared Paul… and then you left with Noah."

Paul was so close to phasing now, so unbelievably close. It was at the point where I should probably run for my own safety but I didn't dare move. Not at this moment.

The sweat was glistening on his body with the heat of his anger and being so close to letting his wolf take over. I braced myself for the rejection he was about to spit at me in anger so I closed my eyes and sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, waiting.

And then suddenly my cheek was pressed up against his burning chest, his hands on my back crushing me to him and his face buried in the crook of my neck. His body was convulsing, he was so close. My hands were on his back, slipping over the muscles that were twitching and rippling, ready to explode into the wolf he partly was.

I had never seen or felt Paul sweat so bad.

"I'm so so sorry," I whispered. Placing a gentle kiss on his chest.

"I'm going to kill that filthy leech," he growled, his breathing ragged.

"Don't, please don't," I begged. Holding him closer to me.

He released me then, standing up to his full height as beads of sweat rolled down over his perfectly sculpted abs.

"No one will ever speak to my imprint like that, ever!." His eyes were burning with a fire of hatred as he stared out into the woods, "Describe him."

"Paul-."

"Describe him!."

"He's uh… golden haired-." I paused as he stared at me wide eyed.

"Long golden hair?."

I nodded, "How do you kn…" I trailed off.

Jacob must have shown him.

"How dare he! How dare he come looking for you in our land!," he roared, "Get inside Fay."

"Paul just leave it, please."

But he didn't listen to me, instead he burst into the wolf he was and let out an ear piercing howl before running past me into the darkness of the woods. Leaving me alone and worried once again.

I also had no idea whether he was mad at me or not which cut through me deeply but no matter how strong he was, he should never underestimate a vampire. Especially when he was consumed with uncontrollable anger.

And I had to stop him.


	5. Run Away With Me

**A/N: PLEASE READ!**

**I'll be going away for about a month on holiday so therefore I won't be able to update. I'm really sorry about this, it means a lot to me that you're all reading, reviewing, adding this story to your favorites and etc, so I promise that once I get back I'll start typing up the next chapter as fast as I can.**

**Chapter 5: Run Away With Me**

An adrenaline rush flowed through me as I followed Paul into the woods as fast as my feet could carry me.

The cold breeze chilled my bones to the core with every passing second, I knew that I'd probably end up with a cold when I got home but right then I couldn't have cared less. I was doing this for my family's own good.

For all I knew Joel could have had his own army of vampires and I wasn't going to let Paul risk his life for what happened. Our family and our well being was may more important, of course he wouldn't be thinking like me.

No, he was out of his mind with anger and rage. Apparently, nothing could stop him. I'd try though, although from where I was running he was nowhere to be seen. Too bad I couldn't run any faster.

Running through the woods in the middle of the night was more than a little scary, it was terrifying. I could barely see anything, just trees, rocks and more trees. The amount of light the stars gave out wasn't enough for me to see clearly and I found myself tripping every so often.

"Paul," I called for the hundredth time. My voice raspy and breathless.

Still, he was nowhere to be found.

Ten minutes later I found myself at a clearing. It seemed oddly familiar… then it all came back to me.

This was where Paul had first revealed himself in wolf form to me, at the time it had been such a scary and bazaar moment. Werewolves just didn't exist in real life and yet there he stood on all fours, a crazy but beautiful sight.

And to think of how far we've come since then was amazing really. We were just two teenagers in high school, in love and learning new things about each other every day. Now we were still teenagers but married with a baby.

Never in a million years would I have thought then that Paul and I would me married and that we would also be parents only months later.

La Push really was magical.

A pair of blazing hot hands squeezed my shoulders gently from behind, bringing me out my reverie.

I spun around, jumping back with fright.

"It's dangerous out here, go home."

"No," I shook my head, "Not unless you do."

Paul sighed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his cut offs, "Why are you so intent on me _not_ killing the leech?."

"Because he hasn't hurt me and he won't cross the border again, knowing that you know about him now."

He cocked an eyebrow at me, "How would he know that I know about him?."

I shrugged, "Vampires aren't stupid, he'll find out somehow."

"Hmm…"

"What took you so long?."

"What?."

"Why did you make me run this far when you heard me calling you before?."

His eyes left mine to stare off into the distance, "I had to compose myself… I was… very animalistic for a while, you saw how angry I was."

"Paul you need to control yourself better than that, you're a father now."

Our eyes met once again, "How am I supposed to control myself when my imprint tells me she's had lunch with a vampire who said she smelt wonderful?."

"Just… learn to take it more lightly," I suggested. Biting down on my lip.

"Lightly?," he chuckled darkly, "This isn't a joke Fay! What if he…"

"Bit me?," I finished.

"Ugh!," he moaned, running a hand through his hair, "Don't say that again, please."

I took a step toward him, "I promise I won't set foot in Forks again, unless you come with me."

He stared at me for a long while then and I wondered what he was thinking about. It was obvious that he needed to clear his head and have a good night's sleep, the dark circles under his eyes and the constant frown on his face told me that.

Maybe this conversation could wait, I hated seeing him like this. I wished that him, Noah and I could just leave for a while, run away from all this mythical nonsense. We couldn't though, not when the pack needed him.

"I hate that you can't have a normal life Fay, I wish that you could just go to Forks, get a job without getting yourself into danger. Every night I imagine what our life would be like if I wasn't a werewolf, we'd probably be happier…"

Reaching out, I took his hand in mine, "Paul I love my life, I love how you're a werewolf and that you protect me, our baby and your people from vampires. You're a hero in my eyes and if you weren't a werewolf then that wouldn't be you would it?."

He smiled sadly, "No but life would be easier."

"Maybe we would have never met each other because the only reason I came here was because Sam and Emily invited me, Sam and Emily wouldn't be together if Sam wasn't a werewolf so I'd still be with my parents. I'd probably never know what La Push was like."

"My life would suck without you."

I smiled, "So would mine."

A blush crept into my cheeks at the sudden change of our conversation. At first we had been talking about Joel and now we were getting all sweet with how our lives would be nothing without each other.

In the past five days I really missed these moments, these loving moments. I felt so hated and alone then but whenever Paul would say something kind and caring to me, it honestly made my day.

And to think we hadn't even kissed for a week…

"God, I love you so much," Paul said softly. Wrapping his strong arms around my waist and crushing me against him.

"I love you more," I giggled against his chest.

"Impossible," he whispered into my ear.

I leaned back slightly, staring up into his eyes, "How did I last five days without you?."

He gulped, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-."

"Forget it."

"No, what I did was wrong. Forgive me."

"I already have."

Then suddenly his soft lips were on mine, causing my knees to buckle beneath me. One scorching hand was on the back of my neck, holding me in place while the other was on the small of my back keeping me steady.

My hands couldn't control themselves, they were all over him. Rubbing over his back, kneading his chest, tracing the incredible shape of his abs between us and in his hair. I missed the feel of him.

He lifted me up off the ground then, walking us over to the middle of the clearing before he broke our kiss and lay me down on the cool grass.

"I'll be right back," he whispered against my lips before he ran off.

I lay there waiting for him as my heart beat frantically in my chest, my stomach did somersaults and my body shivered with excitement.

Leaning up on my arms, I watched as he reappeared with logs of wood and dumped them near me before starting a fire. It was so manly of him to know how to start one without a match or a lighter.

That's a part of why I loved him.

"What's with the fire," I asked as he reappeared next to me, the flames causing him to glow a golden color.

He grinned as he placed both his hands on either side of my head, hovering over me, "To keep my baby warm and to make this moment a little more romantic."

"But I'm already warm," I teased.

"Yeah, well," he smirked, leaning down to press his lips to my ear, "When your clothes are discarded you won't."

Before I had a chance to reply, his lips met mine again in an open mouthed kiss. A moan escaped my mouth when his tongue met mine, hot and wet. We didn't battle each other for dominance, we just tasted each other like it was our first time.

My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, pulling me down closer to me. I needed to feel him, all of him on top of me. I had been deprived of it for way too long and it was worse with the mythical connection we had.

His lips moved against mine more urgently as his whole weight pressed down against mine and it was obvious to me how excited he really was. My hands found their way to his lower back, skimming the waist band of his cut offs, teasing him.

He shuddered with desire against me, pulling on my bottom lip with his sharp, sexy teeth. It was so apparent how much he needed this, wanted this. I could feel it in the way he moved against me, as though he were making love to me.

The unbearable heat that rose throughout my body and his had both our bodies drenched in sweat. Of course as always, his mind was on the same track as mine and within seconds I was laying half naked beneath him, just the material on our lower bodies separating us.

"I missed you so much baby, so much," he panted against my ear before nipping at it.

My eyeballs rolled back into my head as I replied, "I… me too."

In all honesty, he had absolutely no idea how much I missed him but at the moment, I couldn't tell him. My body was filled with a burning desire that needed fulfillment and the only thing I could think of was finally having _all_ of him.

I caught site of the fire he had started a while ago as it was now blazing, the flames growing bigger and bigger with each passing second, just like Paul and I's desire.

This would be our first time in a clearing… it made me feel naughty somehow.

Paul's hand slipped down between us, his rough fingertips brushing across my bare abdomen before landing on the button of my jeans as my own hands found their way over his shoulder blades, down his burning back and to the waistband of his cut offs.

A whimper escaped me as his lips attacked my throat while his hands opened the button and pulled down the zipper, the growing need in the space between my legs becoming unbearable.

I needed some sort of release.

"Paul please ah-," I sucked in a breath as his free hand fondled with my bare breast.

"Please what honey?," he murmured before leaning back to look down at me.

"I need you so freaking much, it's been too long," I whispered, leaning in to kiss his erect nipple, "For us."

He smirked, a seductive fire in his eyes, "It's simple, I've only got one layer of clothes on me."

"And?," I questioned, leaning back into the ground and closing my eyes. The waves of desire overtaking my body.

"And," he drawled out, taking my small hand in his and placing it on the waistband of his shorts, "All you have to do is pull these down." He hooked my fingers inside them and pushed down on my hand.

"Paul!," I gasped as he rubbed his knee against my core while something hot and hard brushed against my hand as he helped me lower his cut offs to the ground.

This part of our relationship- the sexual part- was always something Paul and I enjoyed thoroughly. He never seized to disappoint me and I never disappointed him in return. We were always in the mood for each other, even on the most tiring days.

It was like there was another side to us, this energetic horny side that just never seemed to go away. Usually we would make love at midnight which was when Paul was normally free but there were times when we just couldn't help ourselves.

We always made love, every single day. There were of course, times when I wasn't in the mood due to lack of sleep or by simply having a tiring day but it was rare and when we didn't have it, it just felt wrong.

Like something was missing.

Our lips met again as he kicked off his shorts and started pulling down mine but suddenly he froze. His burning hands on my hips and my own hands on his perfectly curved bottom.

"What is it?," I asked in a voice so low only he could hear.

He hissed in response, his eyes darting to the woods behind us.

"Paul?."

He gulped before crushing me tight against him, wrapping his arms around me and shielding me in his warm protectiveness.

"What is it?," I panicked.

"It's Sam."

My whole body, from head to toe flushed a deep red as I realized that my cousin Sam must have hear us both or perhaps even seen us.

"Where is he?," I squeaked.

"In the woods, he can't see you don't worry but he needs to talk to me." He reached over next to us and started pulling my shirt over my head, "Get this on."

"My pants," I said, biting my lip as I proceeded to pull on my shirt while he readjusted my jeans and buttoned them again.

"I'm so sorry, I'll make it up to you," he told me, placing a soft kiss on my lips before jumping up and running off into the woods.

So I sat there, embarrassed, disappointed and aroused as I waited patiently for his return which I hoped would only take a minute. Why was it that people always had to intrude in private moments? Couldn't they wait.

Perhaps the whole idea of us making love in a clearing was a bad idea, for all we knew a vampire could have turned up but that would be odd considering hardly any vampires ever cross the border in fear of the pack of werewolves ready to attack them.

When Paul returned seconds later, he had a bewildered expression on his face.

"What's wrong?," I asked him as he pulled his cut offs back on.

"There's a vampire around First Beach, I need to get you home," he answered flatly.

I was taken aback by his tone, "Why can't the others track him while you come home with me."

He bent down on one knee in front of me, cupping my cheek in his hand, "I think… look, just wait for me and when I get back I'll make it up to you."

"But Paul, we've just… it's been so long and now after what we've been-."

"I know baby, I know but I'm a werewolf, it's my job to help the pack. Just run a bath for us and wait for me."

"What about Noah, I miss him."

"Shush, Noah is fine and I'll take him home with me when I get back, okay?."

I nodded as he leaned in to kiss my cheek.

"Come on," he said, picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Paul," I shrieked, "Put me down."

He laughed as he started tickling my inner thighs, "No."

I was all over the place then, squealing and laughing hysterically as he continued to tickle me while running through the woods, back to our house.

It was then that I realized that he had forgiven me and that we were back to our good old ways.

And I was happy.

* * *

When Paul dropped me off I was completely elated, my whole body felt so fantastic. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and that I was now finally able to enjoy myself without other things on my mind.

Yes, I did hate the fact that he had to go hunt down another vampire but I didn't let it bother me, I was quite used to all this drama. However I did miss my baby terribly, I knew he was in good hands but I wanted him where he belonged. With his parents.

I had just finished cleaning up Paul and I's bedroom when I heard the phone ring downstairs. It was midnight so it was quite odd for someone to call this late.

"Hello?," I answered breathlessly after running down the stairs.

Nothing.

"Hello?," I repeated, my eyebrows furrowing together in confusion.

Again, nothing.

"Mom?."

And once again, absolutely nothing.

I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone, probably someone trying to get through or maybe even a prankster.

Ten minutes later I found myself in the living room, sitting Indian style on the floor as I looked through our wedding album.

The photos weren't taken professionally or anything but Kim did a really good job. She borrowed her cousins camera which was fantastic because he himself was a photographer, he even offered to take pictures of us for free but we refused.

We hated taking up offers while not being able to give anything in return. At the time we hadn't got a lot of money, most of it was saved for our honeymoon so we were exceptionally careful when it came to buying expensive things.

Luckily for us my dad insisted on fixing up the plumbing in our house whilst my mom put money towards decorating Noah's room.

It had been such a wonderful day, everything turned out the way I wanted it to.

The phone ringing once again in the kitchen brought me out of my thoughts as I jumped up to answer it.

"Yes?."

"Hey babe."

"Paul," I smiled. It was him all along.

"I'm on my way home, Noah just fell asleep."

"Aw, I missed him so much, you have no idea."

"So," he cleared his throat, "Have you got that bath running?."

I giggled, "It'll be running when you get back."

"I can't wait," he whispered into the phone before hanging up on me.

I felt the all too familiar heat flow through my body as I ran up the stairs and started the bath, keeping it a little cooler due to Paul's high temperature.

Once I had the candles lit in safe places around the bathroom and had myself stripped and wrapped in a towel, I heard Paul enter the house downstairs.

"Fay?," he called in a hushed voice.

"Up here," I replied, an excited grin on my face.

When he made it up though, I couldn't help but take our sleeping baby from his arms and cuddle him to me as tears built up in my eyes. I really had missed him.

Paul peered into the bathroom, the lit up candles casting shadows against the tiles and causing the water to sparkle in the tub.

He grinned, "Why don't you take him to his crib while I wait for you?."

I grinned in return, "Okay."

It took me around ten minutes to actually put Noah in his crib, not having him around for five days had really upset me and I didn't want to let him go. But I knew that I was being ridiculous and that I would eventually have to.

I guess it was all part of being a mother.

Returning to the bathroom to find Paul relaxing in the tub, waiting for me caused my knees to turn to Jell-o.

He was so beautiful and magnificent just laying there in the all too small bathtub. Standing over six feet tall and built of pure muscle it was hard to get anything to accommodate his size, even our bed seemed too small.

But watching him there, all wet and glistening turned me on even more. His white teeth a perfect contrast to his copper colored skin as he flashed me a sexy grin. I didn't waste any time in dropping my towel and joining him.

"A little eager are we," he chuckled before my lips met his hungrily.

"An hour was too long," I murmured against his lips before kissing him again. My body flat against his as I lay on top of him.

Not long after that we were both consumed with an overbearing passion for each other, our hands all over each other and our lips swollen with the force we had been kissing each other. There was no sound but the sound of our breathing and our movements in the water.

And I was enjoying every minute.

My lips were on his abs, kissing each one when the phone started ringing again. I paused a moment as a frown crossed my face, hadn't it been Paul who had been trying to get through earlier?

"Ignore it baby, it's not important," he whispered seductively as his hands ran through my wet hair.

I nodded against him in response while I continued to kiss his muscular body.

His body was so hot and he was even more aroused than he had been earlier which brought a grin to my face. Just the thought of this wonderful man being in love with me was a real turn on.

Minutes passed, the phone stopped ringing, I was now beneath Paul and he was positioning himself on top of me, careful not to crush me.

"I love you," I smiled as he gazed down lovingly at me.

"And I love you," he replied before placing a sweet kiss on my lips.

"I wish this was our honeymoon and we didn't have to worry about vampires and all that drama."

"Mhm, me too," he murmured, "We'll go on holiday though, I promise."

"Paul." I pushed him slightly away from me, "Don't make a promise you can't keep."

He chuckled, "No I'm serious, you and I are going away for a while. We need time together, away from all of this."

"Where will you take me?," I sighed as he filled me, making us become one.

"To," he sucked in a breath, "Paradise baby."

I leaned my head back as I gasped out in pleasure at the feeling of _all_ of him inside me, he grunted in return, "Where… where's that?."

His wet lips tickled my throat as he started placing open mouthed kisses on me, "Anywhere you want it to be as long as it's with me."

The phone rang again… and again… and again but we both ignored it and instead made make-up love all night long.

* * *

"Fay wake up, come on baby wake up," I heard a familiar voice say as I shifted.

"Hmm," I murmured.

"Baby please, come on, wake up," the voice repeated, a warm hand shaking my shoulder.

"Okay," I groaned, my eyes fluttering open to find Paul staring down at me with a frantic expression on his handsome face.

"Finally," he sighed.

I leaned up and stared at him warily, "What's the matter?."

"We need to go somewhere, just get dressed."

"But it's." I glanced over at the alarm clock on the bedside table, "Paul it's seven in the morning! What the heck?."

"Trust me," he said, throwing a pair of jeans and a navy sweater at me, "This is important."

"Oh for crying out loud."

He gave me a hard stare, "This needs to be done Fay, for you and Noah's safety."

"Where is-."

"Noah is with Emily, dropped him off ten minutes ago."

I slipped out of the bed groggily as I reached for the jeans and started pulling them on. Paul stood there watching me with an irritated look on his face.

"What?," I asked.

He shrugged, "You're taking your time."

I rolled my eyes at him and proceeded to throw on my sweater before tying my hair up in a bun.

"So," I crossed my arms over my chest once I was ready, "Are you going to tell me what exactly is going on?."

"Just follow me, I'll explain later."

"But Paul," I whined.

"No buts, come on."

With a huff I followed him out the room and down the stairs. Just as we were on our way out though, the phone started ringing again in the kitchen.

It had been ringing all night long but neither of us took the time to answer it, too wrapped up in our lovemaking to care. To be honest though, it was freaky. I had honestly thought that it had been Paul trying to get through until it started ringing again when he got home.

I turned on my heel to head on over to answer it but Paul's scorching hand grabbed my arm, preventing me from doing so.

"Paul I really need to answer it, maybe it's important."

His eyes grew dark, "It's not," he said through clenched teeth, "Ignore it."

"What do you mean it's not?," I asked as he grasped my hand in his and lead me out of the house. Shutting and locking the door behind us.

"We'll discuss this later," he replied before leading me towards the car.

I decided to wait, after all he gave me time to sort myself out so the least I could do was return the favor. It was scary though, Paul seemed very angry and tense. Right now I knew how it must've felt to him when I kept Joel and my job from him because him hiding this was horrible.

Not to mention I was completely shattered. Last night we had stayed up so long, after all the fun we had in the bathtub, we headed downstairs to watch a movie and then finally went to bed which was at four in the morning.

And sometimes I was a little grumpy in the morning.

We didn't say a single word to each other as we drove past Kim's house, Jared's house, Jacob's house, Sam and Emily's house and even the Welcome to La Push sign. I decided I'd wait and see where he was taking me.

But sleep finally consumed me and I dozed off, my forehead pressed against the cool window as I dreamt of warm weather, beaches and palm trees.

The clock on the dashboard read ten o'clock when I woke up.

"Morning," Paul smiled but it never reached his eyes.

"Where are we?," I asked, looking out the windscreen.

He coughed, "Just um.. Seattle."

"Seattle? What the heck are we doing in Seattle?," I asked, completely pissed off.

I mean he hasn't even explained to me why we left our house in the first place, not to mention we were hours away from Noah.

Paul didn't answer me then, he just kept his eyes on the road ahead of him. We weren't even in an area with stores or hotel's, no we were in a deserted area which could have been La Push or Forks by the amount of trees surrounding us as we drove down a dirt path.

Never ever in the whole time I knew Paul have I ever distrusted him but now… now I was a little freaked out and I wasn't sure if I trusted him at that moment.

Finally he pulled up outside a small cottage which was surrounded by woods, woods and oh… more woods. The cottage itself seemed to be okay from the outside, whoever the owner was kept it well.

"Okay…" I started. Staring out the window.

Paul's hand grasped my knee, causing me to look at him, "I know this is strange but I just need you to go along with this."

"Go along with this?."

He nodded, "It's for the best."

"Paul what are you talking about?."

His eyes stared deep into mine, "Joel."

My breath caught in my throat, "What about him?."

"He… he keeps looking for you and I have no idea why, last night when Sam spoke to me at the clearing he told me there was a vampire roaming La Push. I didn't want to jump to conclusions but when I saw him after I dropped you home, I nearly lost it Fay."

I bit my lip to stop it from trembling, "And?."

"And he's really fast, faster than the others. I think it's his gift, just like how Cullen can read minds. So we lost him… and I hoped that maybe he was gone, that he wouldn't come back but then this morning…"

"Tell me," I begged. Taking his hand in mine and squeezing it.

"The phone rang again and I answered it."

"It was him wasn't it?."

"Yeah. I think he knows now… I think he knows you live there with me."

"What did he say?."

"Nothing."

I frowned, "Then how do you know it was him?."

"Because when he phoned, Jared saw him on Second Beach using a cell phone. When he ran after him though, the leech crushed it and ran off. It's him babe, I know it is."

"And so why am I here?."

"Because." He placed his free hand on my cheek, "We need to find out everything about this vampire and I can't risk." He paused, a tear falling from his eye, "I can't risk anything happening to you honey, I love you too much."

"But what about Noah, you can't take him away from me again."

"No baby I won't," he leaned in, placing a kiss on the corner of my lips, "This is different."

"Paul," I breathed, kissing him full on the lips, "Don't leave me."

"Never again, I promise," he whispered as another tear fell from his eye.

"So," I kissed him once, twice… three times, "I won't be alone here? You're not going to abandon me for a week or two?."

"No, impossible. My body craves you, I can't." he returned my kisses eagerly, "I'm devoted to you."

I was wrapped up in his arms then, my cheek pressed up against his bare chest as he whispered something in Quileute over and over again to me.

Then I cried and sobbed against him with fear of Joel coming after me, endangering Paul and Noah. Joel had seemed like a nice guy but now… I had no idea what he was and I wasn't going to risk finding out.

And I made a decision then that whatever Paul wanted me to do here, in the middle of nowhere, I was willing to do it.

As long as him and my baby were safer this way.

**A/N: HEY GUYS! Okay so of course next chapter will have Joel in it and you'll get to know what exactly he's up to. Whether he's good or bad. However that will be next month because like I said, I'll be going on a holiday.**

**Also I'm sorry if their little love scene (I didn't make it too graphic or long because this story is T rated) was too much. Should I change the rating to M or is it alright?**

**Anyway thanks for reading, you all rock!**

**Cheers**


	6. Fire And Ice

**A/N: I'M BACK! Yes, thank you all so much for your wishes, I had a fantastic time in Ireland. I'm from there, just not living there at the moment. **

**Anyway here's chapter 6, I'd like to think this is where the story really starts.**

**Hope you guys enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Just Say Yes lyrics are owned by Snow Patrol. Give it a listen to, I love it.**

**Chapter 6: Fire and Ice**

I cradled Noah to my chest, running my fingers through his feathery black hair. His deep brown eyes stared up at me, so innocent and pure. There was something about the look he gave me, like he knew what I was going through. Maybe it was just a mother-son thing but it was comforting.

Eighteen hours without Noah was horrible. It had been hell for a week but to be away from him again so soon was just unbearable. I would try everything I could _not_ to spend any more time away from him.

Yesterday morning had been a strange experience for me. I was almost positive Paul would have had me stay in that house for a week, maybe more. He was so broken. Paul never really expressed his feelings but he had as we sat in the car and I felt even closer to him somehow.

Inside the house it was cold and dreary. Although the outside had looked fine, the inside was completely neglected. The white wallpaper- which had faded to grey- was peeling off the walls. The carpet was worn and colorless. There were no doors, just old doorframes except for one room which had a door but no handle. The rooms were empty with exception of the sitting room which had a fireplace and a rocking chair covered with dust and spider webs.

The house was just disgusting. And creepy.

But I knew I was there for a reason, Paul wouldn't take me near such a rundown place. I had been starting to wonder if it was actually safe in there.

"It's cold," I had stated. Wrapping my arms around myself.

Paul dropped to his knees by the fireplace, "Part of the plan is to warm you up."

I had no intention of asking him why, I just wanted him to do whatever his 'plan' acquired him to do so we could get out of there as soon as possible. Even if that was a week or a month away. But Noah... I just couldn't get him off my mind.

Once Paul had the fire burning he stood up to his full height again. He approached me with a sad smile on his face which didn't make the situation any better for me. I just had to keep telling myself that by the time this is all over, we can go back to our everyday lives. Our happy lives.

He took me by the hand then and led me towards the rocking chair before gesturing to it. Although it needed a good dusting, I obliged and sat myself down on it. Shivering at the thought of spiders crawling up my body.

Paul headed towards the door, stopping to look back at me as he reached it, "I'll be outside. Just sit there until the room heats up and when you start to feel the humidity, leave."

I nodded in response and did as I was told.

About an hour passed until the air started to feel thick. It was definitely humid by then but I decided to wait another five minutes just in case. Which turned out to be a bad idea…

"Fay," Paul's panic stricken voice whispered, "Fay wake up, please. Come on, I'm so sorry."

But I couldn't find my voice nor the strength to move. To give him some sort of sign that I was okay. The only thing I hoped he would notice was that I was still breathing.

"Oh Fay, please. I'm such a fucking idiot. Please just wake up, please be okay." He whispered again.

I could hear the faint sound of rain falling in the distance and when my body started to acknowledge the fact that the rain was actually pelting down upon me, I started to shiver. My teeth shattering with the cold.

Paul let out a sigh of relief, "I'll keep you warm Fay, thank god you're alright."

After that the only thing I could remember was something pricking my finger and a warm tear escaping my eye with the sting. I thought I had heard Paul tell me he was sorry again but I was already asleep by then.

Which brings me back to where I am now. In my bedroom with Noah in my arms.

I had awoken to the sound of Paul hushing our baby and feeding him a bottle next to me in the bed but my motherly instincts took over and I wanted to feed Noah. It was hard enough being without him all that time.

Paul had kissed me goodbye before he left at six o'clock for patrol. I had a lot of questions to ask him but I'd just have to wait until he got back.

"What happened?," I asked Paul as he dabbed a wet cloth on a fresh wound located on his hip.

It was eight o'clock by then. Noah was sound asleep in his crib and I had just finished mopping the floor.

He leaned back against the kitchen counter, "Leah."

"Leah?."

"Yeah, you know how she is."

"What the hell? Did she attack you or something?."

"It's not a big deal, just forget about it. It's nothing new."

"So you're just going to stand there? you're not even going to confront her?."

He met my eyes, "Leah never listens, just pretend I never said anything okay? Like I said, it's not a big deal."

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest as I pressed my back up against the wall adjacent to him.

Leah, Leah, Leah. Why can't she just build a bridge and get over the whole Sam and Emily thing? Yeah I had the utmost amount of sympathy for her in the beginning but why she has to hurt other people in order to make herself feel better- which clearly doesn't work- was beyond me.

Maybe I should talk to her.

On the other hand, I wanted to know what happened to me earlier that day.

"Paul?."

"Hmm?."

"What happened to me today?."

He sighed, throwing the cotton wool across the room straight into the trash can, "You passed out with the heat."

"But that doesn't make sense… a hot room wouldn't have that affect on me."

"Has it ever entered your mind why I asked you to leave the room once it got humid?."

I nodded, "I felt it but I wanted to wait for another five minutes-."

"You _felt_ it? Then what the hell were you doing in there!," he spat.

I was at a loss for words, "I told you, I just wanted to wait another five minutes to be sure."

"Silly girl."

I rolled my eyes, "If you want to insult me, leave the room."

He chuckled, "If it makes you feel better, The Clearwater's are having a get together in their back yard at nine, you're invited of course."

"They're just throwing a random get together?."

"Oh give it a break Fay! Can't you just go without asking any questions?."

"Fine. If it makes you happy," I said before storming out of the kitchen, rubbing my sore finger in the process.

* * *

"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Yes you are, oh you are! Aw, you're adorable you know that?."

I chuckled over at Emily who was sitting next to me on the grass in the Clearwater's back yard, playing with Noah as she held him in her arms. When I had first had Noah I was always afraid of people holding him, afraid he'd get hurt somehow but that changed after a few weeks. And it seemed to me that Noah liked other peoples company which was a relief.

A familiar voice caught my attention and my head snapped in the direction it had come from.

Leah.

She was speaking to her mother down by the entrance to the woods, having only made it to the 'get together'. By the looks of her, she was obviously in wolf form only seconds ago because I hadn't seen her since I arrived.

But I was ready to speak to her. I was so sick and tired of her hurting the other wolves, especially Paul. I knew it didn't bother him or any of them but it bothered me. Who did she think she was? The Queen of wolves because she was a she-wolf? Give me a break.

I told Emily I'd be back in a sec once I saw Sue walk away and head back towards the house. There was no one outside with exception of me, Noah and Emily. The pack were inside having some kind of 'pack meeting' with Sam.

"Leah," I called as I got closer to her.

She stared at me with angry eyes, "What do _you_ want?."

"Do you always have to be so rude?," I asked as I finally approached her.

Cocking her head to the side, she asked, "And who are you to tell me _I'm_ being rude?."

I rolled my eyes, "What are you implying?."

"Exactly."

"Look, this isn't why I'm here."

She laughed darkly to herself, "I know why you are Fay, I'm not as slow as you think I am."

"Really? Well then let me ask you this." I cleared my throat, "If you're so brave, so independent then why are you still moping around over Sam huh? Why can't you just let him go? Why-."

"Shut the hell up Uley!," she growled.

"Why do you have to hurt people in order to lessen the pain. What the hell is your problem? I'm sick of it!."

"Sick of it? Oh you ain't seen nothing yet."

"Just stay away from him."

"Ha! Has he been crying to you? Man, I've never felt so powerful in all my life."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "If you and Sam were still together and had a baby, I bet you wouldn't want to see him all wounded."

"What the heck are you trying to do! Make me feel even worse than I already feel?."

I shook my head, "Just grow up Leah and face the world. No one's life is easy."

Turning on my heel, I walked away from her, but her burning hand gripped my wrist so hard that I gasped with the sting of it as she pulled me back. Her angry face was so close to mine I could see that her eyes had watered up.

"I know what you did to Paul. I know that you and that leech had lunch together, I know you lied to Paul. But like I said, you ain't seen nothing yet. Wait until that filthy leech finally has a firm grip on you, you're mind will be so blurry, so confused that you might even choose him over Paul. Beware, the war has only just begun."

I flinched back at her words just as she dropped my wrist and ran away, back into the woods. Giving me one last look before she disappeared into the night.

Her words didn't make any sense to me, none at all. The only part I did understand was that she knew about me and Joel's encounter. What was she trying to say? How could she ever think that I'd choose _anyone_ not to mention a vampire over Paul. That was impossible.

But Leah never played any games, I knew that for sure. _Beware_ she had said and no matter how crazy or untrue her words were, I would definitely be on my guard. I was a little freaked out too.

"What was that all about?," Emily asked while Noah played with her fingers.

I shrugged, "The usual drama. Paul came home today with three gashes on his hip, Leah did it of course. So I decided to confront her about it."

"And she lashed out on you I assume?."

"Kind of… she had some weird things to say though."

Emily waved it off, "Just ignore her, she'll come around someday. I know what happened between Sam." She swallowed, "And I, hurt her but there's nothing we can do about it. I've tried speaking to her, inviting her over, writing to her but she just chooses to ignore it. So I gave up."

I sighed, looking down at Emily, "Must be tough having he around all the time."

But Emily smiled, "No it isn't actually because she hasn't been as bad lately, no one knows why though. Maybe Paul was trying to get into her mind earlier and that's why she hurt him."

"Maybe."

A loud roar of laughter interrupted our conversation as the pack filed out of the backdoor into the garden. It occurred to me then that I hadn't yet apologized to Jacob for what I had said to him the other day. I knew it hurt him and he didn't deserve that.

He must've still been inside because I couldn't find him outside. I caught Paul's eyes for a moment and he gave me a small smile which I returned. This meant that our little misunderstanding in the kitchen an hour before hand was forgiven and forgotten. It's something we always did.

Telling Emily I'd only be a minute I headed towards the house. Pushing the backdoor open, I walked down the hall to find Jacob sitting on the bottom stairs, staring at a photo in his hand.

"Hey Jake," I said. Standing awkwardly in front of him.

He looked up from the photo and met my eyes, "Fay."

"What's that?," I asked. Gesturing to the photo.

"Oh," he smiled, "It was taken a couple of years back." He handed me it, "It's me, Embry and Quil. Good times."

I smiled back as I studied the picture. They were so young, so carefree that it broke my heart just a little. It reminded me of the photo I had seen of Paul and Jared when they were younger. They had no idea what was coming.

"So what brings you in here?," Jacob questioned.

I placed the photo back on his lap and shuffled awkwardly on my feet, "I'm sorry about what I said last night. It was cruel and I honestly didn't mean what I said. I'm really sorry Jake, you didn't deserve that."

There was a moment of silence between us before Jacob pulled me down to him and gave me one of his signature bear hugs. I giggled into his chest. Jacob could be so random at times but this was good. He'd forgiven me.

"It's no big deal but thanks, I appreciate it."

He squeezed me a little tighter, reassuring me that everything was okay. Jacob was like a brother to me, always there and always so kind. The incident between us ages ago, when he was drunk and kissed me, was forgotten about. It was just nice to have someone like him around.

Minutes passed, Jacob and I broke our embrace and both headed back outside. Paul caught my hand in his as I stepped out through the backdoor, pulling me to him.

"Can I steal you away for a minute or more?," he whispered into my ear.

"What if I say no?," I teased.

He seemed to contemplate this for a moment, "You won't be getting any answers."

Memories of this morning flooded back into my brain, every single detail. I must've forgotten about it after Paul called me a 'silly girl'. The rational side of me knew it wasn't even an insult but considering I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, I was perhaps, a little grumpy.

A grin spread across his lips as he acknowledged the fact that I was thinking through what he had just said.

"Fine."

"And to make the journey much more quicker." He slipped an arm under my leg and lifted me up, "Much better."

Nobody seemed to notice our departure and I was positive Emily wouldn't mind keeping an eye on Noah for a while.

Paul carried me further and further away from The Clearwater's house, into the woods. It was such a beautiful night, the moon was full and glowing. Bright stars scattered all around the sky. The sound of the waves crashing against the rocks in the distance. It was so perfect.

I missed having nights like this with him. Before I had Noah, months before, when I was under five months pregnant, we would do things like this together. Take night trips into the woods, having picnic's in a clearing on a rare sunny day, go swimming at all hours of the day. We'd even go to Port Angeles now and then for dinner and a movie.

Those were moments I cherished. They were special.

"Close your eyes," he said softly once we found ourselves on a beach.

So I did as I was told. I could hear and smell the sea much stronger now. It relaxed me, reminding me of one night when Paul and I slept on the beach, just for the hell of it. It was a month after our wedding and everything just seemed so new and fun to us.

I could hear water splashing then and it wasn't until I felt my feet skim the sea that I realized what he was doing.

"Paul!," I screeched. Holding on tighter to his neck. He was waist deep in the sea, holding me just above the water.

He chuckled, "You used to like this."

I stared up at him, "Yes, when it was for fun. I thought we were having a talk?."

"We are."

Just before I could do or say anything, he dropped me into the ice cold water. I shrieked, my hands clawing at his chest, trying to hold on.

"You jerk!," I gasped. Teeth shattering with the cold as I finally stopped panicking.

He chuckled, running a hand through my now wet hair before I swatted it away, "Aw come on honey, lighten up a little."

"..!."

"No it's not." He smiled.

"Fine, see you." I muttered. Moving away from him.

"Come here, you spoilsport," he laughed. Wrapping his arms around my waist and crushing me to him.

I sighed against his chest, enjoying the warmth his body processed.

"So what was all that this morning? Why did you make me do that?," I asked. Snuggling closer to him.

He traced invisible circles on the small of my back as he spoke, "That house was owned by an old man my father knew. He wasn't Quileute, just a regular man. However when he was sick, he asked my dad to do him a favor. That when he passes away, my father makes sure that his house is to never be touched in the sense of refurbishing or maintaining. So of course my father agreed to it.

Now that's about twenty years ago. My dad checks up on it now and again, sometimes he likes to go in and just… look. But he never knew why the man wanted to keep it untouched. Anyway I thought about that." He swallowed, "Vampire stalking you and had an idea in my head that if I took you out there in the morning, left you in the room with the fire blazing, that your scent would be strong and that if he really is obsessed with you, he'll catch your scent and go there.

Tomorrow I'll go check, maybe take Quil and Jared with me. I know it wasn't a genius idea or anything but maybe it'll work, who knows? I haven't told any of the pack about it yet. Oh and about this." He lifted my hand up and wiggled the finger I had pricked earlier, "I did that. I'm sorry it's just I thought if I had one drop of your blood outside the house it'd make your scent stronger."

My mouth formed an 'O' shape as I stared at my finger. Everything he just informed me of made sense but one thing didn't: Who was that old man and what was he hiding? Maybe I was being paranoid but something seemed strange about him.

"Are you alright? I didn't freak you out or anything?."

"No." I smiled reassuringly, "Everything's just fine."

* * *

The next morning, Paul headed out for work while I dressed Noah for the day. I decided that I'd phone Emily and Kim and we could all have a picnic somewhere. A girls day out, if that's what you'd like to call it.

I texted Paul, having no idea where to go:

**HEY. KNOW A GOOD PLACE FOR A PICNIC? BTW, ME, EMILY + KIM ARE GOING.**

Considering he was working at the moment, I felt bad for texting him but he replied none the less.

**AM I INVITED? :P JK. PARK NEARBY THE LOCAL STORE.**

I smiled.

**GR8, TNX. Xx**

He replied.

**LOVE U xxx**

Although I hadn't even asked Emily or Kim if they were available, I knew they'd both come. Or so I thought…

"I'm so so so so so sorry Fay but me and Jared have plans tonight."

I bit my lip, "Nah, it's fine Kim, really."

"By the way, we really need to talk sometime. Tomorrow maybe? I just really need to talk to you about something."

I frowned, "Sure Kim."

"Alright see you then. OMG I just feel so bad right now!."

"Over what?."

"Not being able to come to the picnic, I really am sorry Fay."

Rolling my eyes, I told her it was fine before we both hung up.

Emily had agreed to the picnic so she was picking me up in her car as Paul took ours to work. We talked about everything under the sun during the drive. Noah and her son were strapped up in their baby seats in the back.

"Oh my god I LOVE this song!," I squealed. Turning the volume up.

"I have no idea what it is," Emily laughed.

_It's so simple and you know it is_

_You know it is_

_We can't be to and fro like this_

_All our lives_

_You're the only way to me_

_The path is clear_

_What do I have to say to you_

_For God sake, dear_

_For God sake, dear_

_For God sake, dear_

_For God sake, dear_

_For God sake, dear_

_Just say yes, just say there's nothing holding you back_

_It's not a test, nor a trick of the mind_

_Only love_

I belted out the whole second verse of the song as Emily laughed her head off at me. I was far from being a good singer but when you love a song, it doesn't really matter.

Besides it reminded me of my honeymoon, I had heard it somewhere there.

Two minutes later we pulled up. Luckily for us it was a sunny day and by the time we reached the park, there were plenty of families there, enjoying the day.

"Hey Em?," I asked. Just as Emily sat down on the blanket.

"Yeah?."

"I'm going to run over to the store, you don't mind keeping an eye on Noah? I'll only be a minute."

She waved me off, "Of course I don't! Go on."

The store was about five minutes away from the park. It took me a good while to actually find the exit onto the main road as the park was so big and crowded.

Crossing the road and entering the store, I picked up the things I needed, paid and walked out, but ended up slamming into someone once I exited.

"Fay Uley?," a very familiar voice asked.

I stepped away, looking up into the speakers eyes, "Hey Chris."

"Wow, you look… different."

"Hmm…"

"In a good way that is. So what brings you here?."

I honestly hadn't got the time for this. It was obvious to me now that Chris would never leave me alone no matter where I was. Not to mention he looked exactly the same except for the fact that his hair was tied back at the nape of his neck and he was dressed for summer.

And if Paul weren't at work, he'd most likely see me talking to Chris outside the store as the woods were just across the road.

"Oh I just forgot to buy something…"

He grinned, "You're still cute when you're nervous."

Oh for crying out loud! Nervous? Yeah right.

"I'm not nervous."

"You were always nervous around me Fay, always."

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open, "Are you delusional or something?."

Rubbing his chin he replied, "Nope."

"Look I really have to go, nice seeing you."

"Wait a minute Uley." He grasped my wrist, "Aren't you going to ask me how I am?."

"Chris please."

"Fine." He dropped my wrist, "But you'll come, right?."

He handed me an invitation to his 20th birthday party, "Umm…"

"Oh come on. You dated me once upon a time, remember?."

My face burned with embarrassment, "I really need to go now."

He leaned into me then, his breath fanning my face, "Is that husband of yours not satisfying you? I knew it was mistake for you to get married so young. Paul is and always will be a jerk."

I shoved him away from me, "How dare you say such things!."

With a chuckle, he winked at me, "I could always be the other guy if you want."

Before I could respond he pushed past me into the store, leaving me standing there speechless. Why did I ever date him in the first place? Oh right, because I was an idiot.

I really wanted to go in there after him and give him a piece of my mind but I wouldn't, he'd never listen. And I had to get back to Emily and Noah, I was foolish for even listening to his crap.

My mind was a jumbled mess as I started to cross the road. Everything that had happened to me today and yesterday were echoing through my head. I saw the old house Paul had took me to, my sore finger, Noah staring up at me in my arms, Emily's warm smile, Leah's stinging words, Kim telling me we needed to talk, Chris's arrogant grin and Jo-

Then everything happened in slow motion. I looked to my right to find a sports car speeding down the road, towards me. The paper bag with my purchases fell to the floor, I knew it was too late. That car would never stop, even though it was skidding to halt. The space between us was too close.

I took that split second to remember the happiest moments of my life and the people that I love. I could see Paul's awestruck face when he saw me for the first time, our first kiss, confessing our love for each other, my engagement ring, our wedding, my parents and my little brother, our honeymoon, my pregnancy and Noah.

Then everything went black.


	7. Putting The Pieces Together

**A/N: Wow! Great reviews for last chapter, thank you all so much. I tried to get this out as fast as I could and I really hope you all enjoy it.**

**Also, does anyone know how to make a banner? I'd love one for this story and The Truth You Hide.**

**Cheers guys**

**Chapter 7: Putting The Pieces Together**

_"What did you huh? What did I tell you?," he growled. _

_I wrapped my arms around myself in some sort of shield, "N-Nothing."_

_"You're lying aren't you? You're lying to me again!."_

_"Paul stop," I begged. Stepping away from him._

_His body started to shake, "How could you."_

_"I… I didn't mean to, I swear."_

_"Yes you did!." He grabbed me by my upper arm and shook me._

_I shrieked, "Paul!."_

_His other hand gripped my other arm, shaking me harder._

_"You're hurting me!."_

_"Admit it Fay! I won't stop until you've admitted it," he spat._

_"Please."_

_"No!."_

_"Please stop, you're hurting me," I groaned._

_"It serves you right."_

_He gripped my arms harder and without a second thought, threw me across the room. I screamed out when the back of my head hit the opposite wall, blackness overtaking me._

_I could vaguely hear him laugh, an evil laugh, a laugh I had never heard him laugh before. I could have stood up and left, taking Noah with me. I could have reported him to the police and then I could have lived peacefully with my parents always wondering how **he** could turn on me like that._

_But I couldn't. I was too weak, too out of it._

_Instead I lay there with my throbbing head against the wall, blood oozing out of my wound down the back of my neck. My body limp and helpless._

_And just when I thought nothing could save me, something did. Something cold. Something that bit down on my neck causing me to scream._

_Something that made me cold too._

_"Leah was right," I mumbled._

My eyes fluttered open, to find myself lying on a hospital bed. I was panting, shaking with the realization that it had all been a dream. A horrible dream. A nightmare. Which caused me to sweat so badly that my nightgown clung to me.

I looked around the empty hospital room, wondering why I was here in the first place. Then it all came back to me, not every single detail but the part where I crossed the road and saw the sports car speeding down the narrow road towards me.

Remembering it all now made it seem amazing that I was actually laying here, alive and well. Besides the fact that my elbow had obviously been stitched up and was sore to move, or the fact that the back of my head throbbed just like in the dream.

My eyes found the empty chair placed next to the bed, a sense of loneliness and disappointment filled me.

Where was everyone? Where was my husband? Where was my baby? Did they even know I was in hospital? How long was I here for? What happened to me? Do my parents know? My mind was filled with questions but no answers.

"You're awake." A nurse stated. A small smile on her face as she walked into the room.

I nodded.

"How are you feeling? Are you in pain?," she asked. Examining my elbow and making sure the drop connected to my arm was working properly.

"My head hurts a little," I replied honestly.

She winced, "I'm sure it does, you hit your head really hard after… I'll make sure to get you more medication in a while."

I smiled weakly in response, reaching up to touch the throbbing wound but my head-including my forehead- was wrapped up in a bandage.

With a sigh I leaned my head back into the pillow, careful not to hurt myself just as the nurse left the room only for another to appear with a bouquet of a dozen red roses along with a box of -what looked like- chocolates.

People didn't normally buy me flowers or chocolates, they simply came up to see me and for me that was better than any gift they bought. However this didn't mean I didn't appreciate it. In spite of my accident, the chocolates seemed appetizing.

"These were delivered ten minutes ago." The nurse smiled, "Would you like me to put them on the table or…"

"Yeah sure, um do you mind giving me the note?."

"Sure." In one quick movement she tore the note from the bow on the bouquet.

I took it from her, "Do you know who sent me them?."

She shook her head, "I assumed the note would say."

I almost smacked my forehead, "Of course. Sorry I'm a bit slow at the moment."

She waved it off, "Let me know if you need anything by pressing that button to your left."

And with that she left the room.

I smiled in excitement, wondering who had bought me the gifts. Opening up the pink card, it read;

_Get well soon,_

_Xx_

Frowning, I turned it over but no name was to be seen. Maybe it was someone I'd see and they hadn't bothered letting me know who they were as they'd see me anyway.

The table wasn't too far away, just to my right so I took the chance and reached for the box of chocolates. They were obviously expensive, made by my favorite brand Lindt. The roses must've been expensive too, considering it was a dozen. Whoever sent them, I was flattered by their generosity towards me.

Popping one of them in my mouth, I thought back to my dream. It had seemed so real, so vivid. Yet, Paul was so horrible in it, so abusive, acting in a way no man should. Then when he threw me and I hit my head, I was bitten. The feeling of turning into a vampire was horrible to say the least. It had felt so real.

It was the ending that left a bitter taste in my mouth though. I just couldn't seem to get Leah off my mind. It was stupid really, I mean it's nothing new. She always said harsh, hurtful things but last night wasn't even that. It was just plain out scary and I wondered what she truly meant by it.

Shrugging it off, I looked up just as the door swung open to reveal Paul with Noah cradled against his chest as he rushed over to me, his eyes watery. I hadn't got the chance to say anything before he used his free hand to wrap me up in a hug so tight, it was new to me but meaningful.

"Fay, oh god Fay, I can't even speak, I'm just so… oh god," he mumbled into my neck as I felt a hot tear fall onto my skin.

I bit my lip, keeping my emotions in check, "I know. I thought I was going to-."

"Don't, please," he begged. His voice muffled against me.

He pulled away for a moment, his cheeks wet with tears as he handed me a crying Noah. I diverted my gaze away from him, afraid I'd break down and instead held Noah close to me, I had missed him so much. My baby. Our baby.

Paul stood by the window down the right side of the room, leaning against it, his shoulders hunched. This whole incident must've been awful for him. I could remember what it was like for me when he was injured. You could tell just by looking at him that he was broken. His brown t-shirt and black khakis were creased and worn looking. His hair a mess. And his face. Oh his face, he was paler than usual.

I hadn't realized that I was staring at him for more than an acceptable amount of time until I realized he was quivering slightly.

Gulping, I looked away and down at the bundle in my arms. Noah's cries had died down and he now snuggled up to me in that adorable babyish way, his eyes drooping.

"I would have tore him to pieces if I had been there," Paul growled.

His words took me by surprise, "What do you mean?."

He looked over his shoulder at me, "When he knocked you down, if I had been there, there would have been war."

"Paul I know you're upset but thank god I'm okay right? Please don't feel so bitter, it's not good for you."

"He just sped down that road like he thought he was some sports man, trying to win a race. But he'll pay for it, by paying up and being locked away for a while. Jerk."

I grimaced, "Who was he?."

Paul was already kneeling next to me by the bed, taking my hand in his, "Trevor McCoy, he's from Seattle. Don't ask me what he was doing on the rez."

"Oh."

"But it's going to be okay," he smiled forcibly, bringing my hand up to his lips, kissing each of my knuckles, "That's the most important thing."

"He was coming to me so fast Paul, I just… I can't get over the fact that I've only hurt my head and elbow."

He shrugged, "I'm just glad you're okay honey, I literally lost it this morning."

Paul took Noah from me then, leaning in to place a soft kiss on my lips, pouring all the love he had for me into it. I asked him whether he was leaving or not but apparently he was staying as long as they'd allow him.

A wave of tiredness flushed throughout my body but I was afraid to sleep. Afraid that when I woke up, no one would be here to comfort me, especially the two most important males in my life.

And as luck had it, the door squeaked open. My heart beat increased at the thought of seeing my mom or dad, or even Emily or Kim or Jacob. The people closest to me.

Of course it was my parents along with my little brother.

"Fay," mom sighed with relief. Her over imaginative imagination had probably thought I would be out of it till next week.

I smiled brightly, "Mom." As she wrapped me up in a hug.

Next up was my dad, who gave me a hug of his own. It was a rare occurrence, my dad was usually awkward about things like that. I never really understood it but learned to accept it and not take it personally.

He patted my shoulder as he pulled away and it wasn't until I looked at them both standing next to each other that I realized that they'd aged.

"Fay?," a small voice asked on the other side of the bed.

It was my brother. I didn't even have to say anything to him, I just pulled him in for a hug. He took after dad in that way, he was awkward about showing his affections. And the saddest part was, that when I had lived with my parents, him and I had gotten on so well. But now with me being far away, he was all closed in on himself once again.

Some day's I'd wake up feeling guilty about leaving home. After all, they _were_ my family too and I loved them just as much as I loved Noah and Paul. But it was a different kind of love, a love that lacked the magic Paul and I had. And that was what made me feel better.

I had never abandoned my family, I just got on with my life a little earlier than most girls my age did. There was no harm in that.

After my parents and my brother gave Paul a hug and placed kisses on Noah's cheek, mom brought up the subject she had brought up not long ago.

"Now don't get me wrong, I know you're hurt now honey and I know Paul is working and all but we'd love for you two to come visit, just for a week. It'd be lovely and you could show Paul where you grew up and go visit your cousins and stuff. We'd love it. Wouldn't we." She gave my dad a look.

He nodded, "Of course."

Paul grinned, his eyes tired, "Well whenever Fay is up for it, I'll take time off work to visit."

"Great! Absolutely brilliant! Can't wait!," mom gushed. Clasping her hands together in excitement.

Just then, the pack along with Kim and Emily barged into the room, catching my parents off guard. It was funny really, my human parents were in a room full of werewolves. I often imagined what their reaction would be like if they knew.

* * *

Another day passed by and I was lucky enough not to have another nightmare. Last night I had begged Paul to go home when he refused to. It wasn't fair on Noah and it wasn't fair on him. He needed his sleep, he looked dreadful.

Reluctantly, he left but not before kissing my lips. His kiss was soft, slow and lingering, one that'd have you wanting more. He was gone before I could even say goodbye, leaving me alone in the brightly lit white room.

The nurse had told me they'd let me out after three days, just to be sure I was completely fine. I hadn't really got a problem with that, in fact it was nice to be looked after for once.

I dreamt of when I was a child that night.

_Fay,_

_I'm so sorry about the accident, I was so worried about you, you have no idea._

_I kept thinking that maybe if I had gone with you and Emily yesterday, that I _

_Could have gone to the store and maybe this wouldn't have happened._

_As soon as you get home I'll come see you again. Like I said, I have some_

_Important things to tell you and just in case you're wondering NO I'm not_

_Pregnant._

_Lots of love, Kim x_

Kim had stuffed the crumpled letter in my hand as she hugged me goodbye yesterday. She was pretty much silent and Jared didn't seem to be in the happiest of moods. Of course he let on he was for my sake but he wasn't fooling me.

Then we have Leah, the mysterious she-wolf. Even though I had been knocked down and put in hospital, she still hadn't come up to see me. I could see it in Paul's eyes when he had asked Jacob where she was that he was furious she hadn't bothered to visit.

I didn't care though. I thought it was a low thing to do but I didn't care. Leah by now, meant nothing to me.

"Um… hey."

The familiar voice caused me to jerk my head upright. Shocked at who had finally come to visit.

"Don't look so shocked to see me, it's only for a minute," she said. Taking a seat next to the bed.

"So you've decided to honor me with your presence Leah? How nice of you."

Surprisingly, she stared down at her lap appearing somewhat humble.

"Do you ever wonder why us creatures exist?."

"What do you mean by creatures?."

She stared up into my eyes, "Werewolves, vampires."

I shrugged, "No. I just accept it."

With a sigh, she said, "I do but I never come up with any answer. Most of the time I wish that I was just an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life but then again I'll never be her so I move on. You're lucky you know, to be this way."

"To be mortal?."

She nodded, "Yeah. And you're also lucky that we exist."

"Because of Paul?."

"Of course. But you're also lucky that vampires exist too."

I stared at her dumbstruck, "Am I missing something?."

She stared off into a space for a moment, giving me time to think of what she had just said. But why would she say that? It didn't make any sense to me, just like last time we spoke. I was beginning to think she was up to something.

Biting her lip, she raised herself up off the chair and headed over to the table, smelling the flowers. A small grin formed on her lips as she leaned in to smell the box of chocolates too. It was a weird site but I left her to it.

Suddenly she was kneeling by the side of the bed, looking deep into my eyes, "You haven't touched the chocolates have you?."

"Actually I have, I ate one yesterday."

"Why only one?."

I leaned my head back against the pillow gently, "Because-."

"Because you don't know who they're from." She answered for me.

"Look Leah, if you're here to torment me, feel free to leave."

"Don't avoid the subject Fay, you know that's _all_ you're doing."

"What subject!," I spat, "The chocolate one? I didn't want another chocolate! In case you've forgotten, I was knocked down yesterday!."

"Ah-ha!," she smiled, standing up to her full height again, "I've gotta run now but remember what you just told me and ask yourself whether that was what _really_ happened."

And with that, she left.

I was confused, taken aback and slightly disturbed by what Leah had said. She just turns up, doesn't bother to ask me whether I'm doing alright and instead, jumps right onto some odd subject.

To be honest, I hadn't really got a clue what our whole conversation was about. She was definitely leaving something out, leaving it up to me to figure out myself. Why she was putting me through this, I didn't know.

But I did as she asked, despite how furious I was with her. I thought about what I had said to her and asked myself like she told me to, whether that was what really happened. It was a crazy thing to ask myself. Of course I had been knocked down, why else would I be here?

Nothing could have put me in this position, besides I saw the car coming towards me, I wasn't imagining things. Then as expected, I was knocked down and knocked out at the same time. Yes, I was lucky my injuries weren't worse and I was so thankful for that but there was nothing to question. Leah was just being ridiculous.

I fell asleep after that.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open to the feel of something cool against my forehead.

"Paul?."

"Hey," he smiled, "Sorry if I woke you, you were burning up so the nurse asked if I wanted to cool you down with a damp cloth. Are you feeling alright?."

I thought about it for a second and decided I wasn't, "No. I feel nauseous."

He ran his free hand down my arm, "Do you want to get sick? I'll get you a bucket or something."

I shook my head, "Not at the moment."

"I'm so sorry I didn't come up earlier, I was so stressed last night that I just conked out and didn't wake up till this afternoon."

I kissed the side of his hand that was now pressing the damp cloth to my cheek, "It's fine. Was Noah alright?."

"Yeah. My parents stayed the night after they saw how broken up I was. They came up to see you yesterday but you were asleep. They said they'd come up later today."

"Leah came by before I slept."

His eyes widened in surprise, "Did she turn over a new leaf or something?."

I chuckled darkly, "No, still same old Leah but even weirder."

"I'll tell you what's weird. You know that jackass who knocked you down? Yeah well he swears that he did not hit you."

My breath caught, "Wh-what?."

"Yeah! You heard me." he removed his hand from my face, placing the cloth on his knee, "I nearly lost it Fay, who does he think he is? And does he think this is some kind of joke? Jeez! What's wrong with people!."

He started to shake, I placed a hand on his arm, "Stop Paul, just forget it."

All I could think about was Leah, Leah, Leah.

"No, you just can't forget things like that Fay! You can't. I know _I_ can't."

"Please, for me? I don't feel too good."

With a sigh, he nodded.

Today he looked much better than usual, not to mention his attire was completely different to what I was used to. His v-necked shirt- navy in color- clung to his body in all the right places, the muscles of his six pack prominent under it. Over it he wore a black leather jacket which was left unzipped. His jeans, a dark blue, looked new and so did his dark brown leather shoes. His hair was gelled too.

Wow.

To me he always looked good but today he looked mouthwatering. Yeah, I knew I was lying on a hospital bed but I could still admire my husband right?

The smile I didn't realize I was wearing disappeared when Paul lay down next to me on the small bed, wrapping his arms carefully around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder. I loved the fact that he was next to me, it's just… Leah popped into my mind again.

"I was working on a battered up car, thinking of you and how happy I was to be your husband. How wonderful it was to have a child with you, how I couldn't wait to get home and see you and Noah again when I got the call. I was speechless at first, the phone dropped from my hand in shock and when I found my voice again, all I could whisper was your name over and over.

I left work, I didn't even bother to let my boss know, I couldn't, I just couldn't speak to anyone. The only smart thing I did was remember to tie my pants to my ankle before phasing. When I reached the woods next to where the accident happened, there was a crowd of people just standing there staring.

I was outraged, it was disgusting. I didn't want anybody looking at you like that, I didn't even know myself how bad your injuries were-." He sobbed into my shoulder then and I fought hard not to let myself cry too. His burning hands clung to the hospital gown I was wearing, as if I was going to run away from him or something.

"Paul, it's okay. I'm fine now," I whispered softly into his hair.

"The police freaked out when they saw me running to you as you were being helped onto a stretcher. They wouldn't believe that I was your husband until I broke down at the sight of your blood stained clothes and emotionless face. Then they asked whether I wanted to get into the ambulance with you and of course I did.

That moment in the ambulance was the saddest moment of my life, I'll never forget it. Although the nurses were working on you, I held your hand in mine and your fingers curled around my hand ever so slightly that it was barely noticeable but I did. I never stopped speaking to you, telling you over and over again how much I loved you, how much you meant to me.

My tears never stopped flowing either and my whole body ached. I was afraid that maybe I'd phase on the spot with the sight of you so hurt, so empty. But I knew I'd have to control myself and be there for you. Oh Fay."

He leaned up on his elbow, looking down at me with teary eyes and wet cheeks. There was a moment of silence between us but there was nothing we could say to each other, only one thing fitted that moment except Paul had one last thing to tell me.

"And you know what the nurses told me? That they'd never seen anything like you. It was such a horrible crash that they were in shock at how little injuries you had, not _one_ broken bone baby, not one. They just said that you were cold, very very cold."

That's when I put the pieces together in my head. I did as Leah asked once again and asked myself, whether getting knocked down was what _really_ happened? And the answer came to me so quickly, that I wondered if I had known it all along.

No, I hadn't been knocked down.

I was saved.


	8. Taken

**A/N: OMG I've been so busy lately that this took me a long time to get out, I'm so sorry. Forgive me?**

**Anyway hope you enjoy this.**

**Chapter 8: Taken**

I gripped the white envelope in my hands tightly, my heart pounding in my chest as I stared at the familiar hall door. Words were spinning around in my head like fallen leaves on a windy day, I wasn't sure if what I was about to do was the right thing to do but I felt I had to.

It had been two weeks since I had been let out of hospital which means it took me fourteen days to build up the courage to do this. I hadn't told anyone about it, the only person that even knew what exactly was going on was Leah and I certainly wasn't going to speak to her.

Just then the door was pulled open. "Fay?."

I raised my eyebrows. "Hello Bella."

"What brings you here? Not that I wasn't expecting you or anything…"

"Sorry?."

"Oh it's just Edward's sister, she saw you coming… she can see the future." She explained.

"Oh. Well I was just wondering if you knew how to find someone." My voice came out strained.

She bit her lip, "Who?."

My body turned cold with nerves, a thin layer of perspiration forming on my upper lip. The envelope shook slightly in my hands and everything seemed to blur. This felt bad, something just wasn't right about this.

Whether it be Paul having no idea or the fact that who I'm looking for isn't someone I ever wanted to see again, I had no idea. But I felt the need to leave, I just couldn't find it in me to ask Bella. I was an emotional wreck.

"I-I have to go, I'm really sorry for bothering you," I told her, turning on my heel to make a beeline for my car.

Bella grasped my wrist. "Fay who were you looking for? It's no problem."

I looked over my shoulder at her bewildered expression. "Really it's nothing, I shouldn't have even come."

She held onto me. "Fay."

"Please let me go Bella.

And she did. "Come by anytime Fay."

I gave her a small smile before jumping into my car and speeding away as fast as I could, feeling like a complete failure. Just one small thing, hell I could have even given her the envelope. Why couldn't I just be brave enough?

It wasn't like I was betraying Paul's trust or anything, I just didn't tell him about my idea because I _knew_ he wouldn't agree to it. But just because the person who saved my life was his mortal enemy didn't mean that he was mine.

And I definitely wasn't putting myself in danger, after all he _saved_ me.

Taking a left turn I noticed a familiar man heading into Forks Diner. I didn't know whether I was happy to have found him or not but I pulled over anyway and followed him inside.

He was sitting in a corner booth down the end of the room, giving his order to a friendly waitress I hadn't ever seen before.

Taking a deep breath, I walked over and slipped into the seat facing him.

The corners of his mouth twitched as he looked up at me. "I didn't know I had a date today."

"Well you don't," I snapped. Instantly regretting it. The least I could do was be nice, even if he was being flirtatious. "I'm sorry-."

"Don't, it's fine." He said, giving me a warm smile. "You're in good form I see."

"Thank you."

"Well it's the truth."

"No." I shook my head. "Thank you for… saving me."

His eyes met mine, "How did you know?."

I drifted my gaze down to my hands, "I added everything up, you sent those flowers and chocolates didn't you?."

There was no response.

Taking a peek at him from under my lashes, he seemed deep in thought, his eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. It'd be a lie to say Joel wasn't beautiful because he was. I'm sure he's had every girl that's ever seen him drooling.

He wasn't my kind of beautiful though, nobody could live up to Paul. But I suppose that's the way it should be, why would I be his imprint if it were any different?

Nevertheless, Joel looked particularly good today; Dark jeans; Chuck Taylor boots; red t-shirt that clung to him in all the right places. Not to mention his long blond hair was pulled back, giving you a better view of his perfectly sculpted face.

I jumped at the feeling of paper being placed in my open palm which lay across the table.

He didn't seem to find it amusing though. "Meet me at Mike's tonight at nine."

"Mike's?."

"It's a bar in Port Angeles, you won't miss it," he told me, slipping out of his seat.

"But why? All I wanted was to give you this," I said. Handing him the envelope.

He shook his head, refusing to take it. "I'd rather hear you say the words."

"Joel I can't go, it wouldn't be right."

"It'll only be for a while, nothing will happen to you, I promise. And as to answer your question, no. I didn't send you the chocolates or the flowers."

I opened my mouth to reply, confused as to who sent them but the waitress arrived with his order: Double cheeseburger and fries along with sparkling water.

"I've got to run but please give them to this lovely young lady here," he told her, nodding at me.

And just like that he was gone. Leaving me alone in the Diner with a blushing waitress and a meal I had no appetite for. I thanked her before taking a look at the note he gave me.

All it said was that if I get lost, call him along with his number.

A voice in the back of my head told me that this wasn't a good idea, that no matter what I couldn't do that. But me being me ignored the voice and instead took Joel up on his offer. He saved my life and this was the only thing I would do in thanks.

No matter _how_ shaken up I was.

* * *

"So how is your head today? Any better?," Paul asked. Running his index finger down the length of my arm as we sat together on the sand, watching the sea.

It was his idea for us to spend an hour at the beach, he'd said something about getting out more often and fresh air. Ever since I had gotten back from the hospital he'd been like this, not that I was complaining but I had a feeling he thought I was still weak and fragile after the accident.

Last week we got into a mini argument because of his _over_ protectiveness. Every time I would carry Noah around he'd offer to take him from me, the fear evident in his dark eyes. It got so bad that I lost it with him. Noah was my son too and if I thought for a second that I wasn't capable of looking after him I would have told Paul.

I felt bad for lashing out at him afterwards though. He had been so good to me, always there when I needed him, even his boss gave him the week off so he could be with me and I was grateful, I really was.

But at the moment, as he spoke softly to me and as Noah moved around in my arms, I couldn't take my mind off the fact that it was six o'clock, meaning I had two more hours until I had to leave for Port Angeles.

Hopefully Paul wouldn't notice my odd behavior.

"Yeah it's definitely not as bad as it was." I smiled, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

He turned his face towards mine quicker than I thought possible and pressed his lips to mine, molding them together.

I returned the kiss but broke it just as fast. Considering the circumstances, I didn't want to kiss him. It felt like I was forcing myself to kiss him when I should be kissing him out of love and want. I had a lot on my mind.

His lips lingered over mine, barely touching as his breath came out in short gasps. "I love you Fay."

"I love you too." I pecked him on the lips. "Always and forever."

He leaned back then, staring deep into my eyes. "Since we've got nothing planned for tonight, I want you." He smiled. "To meet me at my parents house tonight."

"Wh-."

"Shhh, no questions, just be there. I'll take Noah so you can take a shower or whatever."

I bit my lip. "What time?."

"Hmm." He stared up at the sky. "Nine."

"How about nine thirty?," I suggested quickly.

He raised an eyebrow, opened his mouth to say something but then took in the look of my pleading expression and nodded. "Nine thirty it is."

I was so close to saying 'phew' but kept my mouth shut. The only thing standing in my way was whether Paul was going to be home around eight. Because by the looks of things I needed to get ready, leave at eight and make it to Mike's Bar on time. That way I could leave around nine twenty and be just a little bit late for whatever Paul was planning.

"Why do you look so relieved? Hope you're not dreading seeing me." he pouted.

I rolled my eyes, letting out a chuckle. "Of course not."

He scooted a little closer to me, pressing his lips to my ear. "You're not seeing anyone behind my back are you?."

My smile faded. I knew Paul was just teasing but I suddenly felt awfully guilty about sneaking off to see Joel tonight.

"N-No," I stuttered.

He laughed softly, planting a kiss on my temple. "Am I making you nervous?."

I leaned away from him to scrunch my face up in confusion. "No, w-why?."

"You're all shaky." He pointed out.

It was true, I was. My whole body was shaking with nerves and I was stuttering like an idiot.

"I'm just a little cold," I answered back. Holding Noah closer to me as I pushed myself up off the sand.

"Where are you going?," he asked.

I stared down at him. "It's been an hour, I think we should head home."

He quickly followed suit then, standing up to his full height and following close behind me as I headed up the beach.

A strong wind had my hair flying all over the place, causing Noah to squint and me to shiver. Paul kept his distance though, walking with me but not next to me. I could feel the vibes rolling off of him. He was hurt I wanted to leave.

And he had every right to, I knew I wasn't being particularly nice at the moment. But who could blame me? two weeks ago I almost got knocked down, in the beginning I thought I was just lucky but then I soon found out a vampire or should I say _half-breed_ pushed me out of the way.

My mind was a jumbled mess and the worst part was that Paul didn't even know Joel had saved me and I had no intentions in telling him. Well not at the moment anyway. It would only cause too much drama and I know what his first question would be.

What was he you doing in La Push!

A warm hand gripped my shoulder then, causing me to halt.

"Is this too much for you? Am I pissing you off? Because if I am just tell me, I hate feeling like a burden to you," Paul said. Suddenly in front of me.

I sighed. "Paul it's not you, I'm just feeling a little down lately. It'll pass."

He cupped my face in his hands. "But I want you to feel happy Fay, I'll do anything, we'll go away if you want. I know what happened to you was awful, believe me and I just want to help. You know that."

"I know Paul," I replied. Blinking back tears. "I just need to sort some stuff out and when I do, everything will be fine."

"Then why are you tearing up honey? Come here."

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, careful not to hurt Noah and enveloped me in a warm hug. A tear escaped my eye, sliding down my cheek and onto his shirt as he kissed my hair.

Just that simple hug had me questioning my choices but I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. I would go see Joel tonight and by tomorrow everything would be normal again.

Right?

* * *

The bar was old, dull and noisy. Men filled the place with the exception of a few women. Not to mention they all looked rough, definitely _not_ the type of people you'd want to get on the bad side of.

Pulling down on the sleeves of my denim jacket and making my way through the crowds, my eyes searched the room for Joel. But as luck would have it, he was nowhere to be seen. Also, I mustn't have been looking where I was going because next minute I was clutching the side of my face, hissing out with the pain of running into someone's shoulder.

A chorus of 'Oohs' echoed throughout the bar, along with some laughter as I bit my lip to keep from crying. Yeah, the pain was that bad. Whoever I ran into must have some pretty strong shoulders to cause this sort of damage.

Oh and I was also terrified whether I was going to get a punch in the face from whoever they belonged to.

A hand gripped my elbow, steadying me. I looked up to find a young man, with long dark brown hair tied back at the nape of his neck staring down at me with an amused smile on his face.

I wasn't sure what to do at that moment. The guy himself didn't look angry but there was something about his eyes that looked somewhat dangerous, yet I couldn't put my finger on what it was due to the dullness of the room.

"Well, look at what we have here," he said. His eyes giving me a once over.

I gave him one in return. He wore a dark grey t-shirt; worn jeans, ripped at the knees; a black wrist band and black boots.

"Sorry." was all I managed to squeak out.

He chuckled. "Don't be babe." And proceeded to give me a suggestive wink.

His grip on my elbow remained tight and I was starting to feel a little more than freaked out. However suddenly, he dropped my elbow, gave me one last look before turning on his heel and walking away. Disappearing through the crowds of people.

"Hey." A familiar voice said. Taking my hand and spinning me around to face him.

"Where the heck have you been?," I asked. Completely pissed that if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have ran into that dangerous/creepy guy.

He let go of my hand and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah sorry about that, something came up."

I couldn't help but notice that Joel was wearing the same clothes he wore at the Diner today except they looked creased and worn this time around.

"Is it something I should know about?," I asked. Noticing how his eyes kept glancing from me to behind me.

"No." he answered firmly. "I'm just sorry I asked you to come here."

I snorted. "Well I'd have to agree with you on that."

He smirked, "You have no idea what idea what you're on about do you?."

"Actually I do, I just slammed my face into a random guys shoulder, looking for you and my cheek kills!."

His face inched closer to mine, taking a better look at my cheek. "It's swelling up but you'll be fine."

I leaned back. "And you consider this." I pointed to my swelling. "Normal?."

"Never said it was honey, come on, let's find somewhere to sit."

Following Joel through the bar- brushing past unfriendly looking people in the process- we came upon a booth down an isolated area of the place and sat down facing each other.

"What are you having?."

"Having?," I repeated confused.

"To drink?."

I shook my head. "I don't drink."

He threw his head back in laughter, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Chillax Fay, I didn't intend on getting you drunk."

I rolled my eyes at him. What the hell was he laughing at?

He excused himself with a chuckle before returning with two Coke's. I muttered a thank you before swirling the drink around in its glass, wondering whether Joel had put some sort of drug in it. Better safe than sorry.

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?," he asked. An amused smile on his face.

"Nope," I lied. Placing the glass on the table.

"Right… I've just wasted my money on that."

"I'm not really a coke person," I said.

He raised his eyebrows. "Not even when you're thirsty?."

I shook my head.

With a sigh, he replied. "Fine, whatever, go ahead, pretend I dropped a few drugs in that, I'm not hurt."

"How could you be? You're a vampire."

Gasping, he placed a hand to his heart. "Offensive."

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"So tell me something." He leaned across the table. "Are you married to a werewolf?."

"Yup."

He leaned back. "That's definitely normal."

"Oh shut up," I laughed.

I never thought in a million years I would say this but I was actually enjoying Joel's company. He seemed easy to talk to, laid back and friendly, which was of course _not_ what I had in my mind. I was proved wrong though and I was more than happy about it, as weird as it seems.

Joel took a sip of his coke before placing it back on the table. "So how _did_ _you_ figure it out huh? Are you like genius?."

"What? That you saved me?."

He nodded.

"Well there's this werewolf, she's-."

"_SHE?_."

I burst out laughing at his bewildered expression. "Yes, it's a she."

"Woah! Anyway carry on."

"So she kept dropping these hints about my accident, asking me things like 'is that what really happened' and etcetera. Then Paul." I paused a moment, feeling slightly uneasy talking about Paul but Joel seemed interested so I continued. "Told me that when the ambulance arrived, the nurses said I was cold and that it was amazing that I wasn't badly injured. Oh and the gifts but they weren't from you…"

"Did you find out who the gifts _were_ from? Perhaps a family member?," he asked.

"No, I asked everyone but apparently none of them sent me them. Way to make me feel special." I grinned.

He grinned in return, yet his eyes seemed faraway. "I totally would've sent you gifts but like I'm broke."

"Really?."

"Nah just kidding, I just didn't want you to know… about me saving you."

"Why?," I asked.

"Because it would complicate things between you and your husband, I didn't want that."

"Come to think of it, it couldn't have been you who sent them, they would've picked up your scent."

He clicked his tongue. "Possibly."

Suddenly I had the feeling someone was watching me so being particularly discreet about it, I turned my head slightly to the right to find the guy I had bumped into earlier watching me from the bar.

Somehow he looked a little more edgy and dangerous with his hair now loose, cascading over his shoulders. I couldn't help but notice how pale he was under the a bright light over the bar and found myself shivering.

"Um Joel? I need the bathroom, I'll be right back," I said before quickly sliding out of the booth and heading towards doors with a sign that read 'Toilets' overhead.

To be quite honest, I had no idea why I decided to go to the bathroom in the first place but I couldn't shake that uneasy feeling I got from that guys stare. It was if he could see right through me.

Maybe he was pissed I ran into him and was getting revenge by being creepy?

Either way it was freaking me out.

Entering the dimly lit, narrow hallway, I regretted my decision completely. I had thought the main room was bad but this hall was even worse. The previously white wallpaper was now stained brown with age and peeling off the walls. The navy carpet looked worn and had the odd dark stain here and there.

I didn't even want to know what the ladies room looked like so I turned on my heel, started making my way back down the hall when I came to a halt.

"Going somewhere?."

Of course, the creepy guy - a.k.a the guy I ran into- followed me.

He stood in the middle of the hall, arms crossed over his broad chest, his head held up high with an evil grin on his face.

But no matter how freaking scared I was, I wasn't taking his crap.

"As a matter of fact I am," I replied sharply. Making my way towards him.

He bit his lip suggestively. "Oh so she's brave, I like that in a woman."

I ignored him and was just about to brush past him when he suddenly had me pinned up against the wall, his face inches from mine.

My face grew cold, the blood draining from it as I noticed what color his eyes were up close.

Red.

"Let me go," I gasped. His fingers digging into my skin.

He cocked his head to the side. "And why would I do that?."

"What do you want?."

Licking his lips, he inched his face closer. "You."

"Why?."

"Because," he drawled out, his nose now centimeters from my neck. "You have what I want."

Biting back a scream when he inhaled deeply, I replied. "W-What is that?."

He pressed me closer to the wall, except this time his hands weren't on my shoulders but on my hips. "You'll figure it out."

"You're… you're going to bite me aren't you?."

He chuckled. "Now why would I do that? It'd spoil all the fun and would most definitely ruin my chances of getting what I want."

"Then tell me what the heck it is you want!." I hissed. Having no idea where the courage came from.

Pressing himself closer against me, I fought the urge to spit out in disgust. He smirked, whispering. "Patience babe, patience." Before pressing his lips hard against mine, his fingernails digging into my hips.

Before I had the chance to shove him off, someone else did. Causing whatshisname to go flying down the opposite end of the room, his back hitting off the brick wall.

"Get out of here," Joel told me.

I nodded, my teeth chattering in the process. Joel hissed before leaping towards the guy as they fought in such an inhuman speed that I couldn't make out what was happening.

And instead of being an idiot and waiting to see, I did as Joel told me to and ran as fast as I could out of there.

After stumbling into a couple of people, muttering sorry a few times and tripping over my two own feet on my way out, I finally made it into my car.

The clock on the dashboard read 9:35pm and I felt so bad for keeping Paul waiting but what was done was done, although I was practically shaking with fright.

Joel suddenly appeared in the passenger seat causing me to scream with fright.

"_Never_ leave the doors unlocked, _especially_ after what just went down."

I nodded. "Sorry."

"Just get moving before he regains his strength."

Without any further questioning, I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Normally I drove at the normal speed rate but tonight I went just a little bit faster with thoughts of that red eyed vampire running after us.

He definitely wanted something though or he would have bit me right then and there.

By the looks of things Joel seemed to know what he wanted but did I really want to know? No, but I had to find out.

"What's his name?," I asked. Keeping my eyes on the road, having no idea where I was headed.

"Alexander," he answered.

My hands gripped the steering wheel harder. "What does he want?."

"I think it's best if you just keep on driving Fay, otherwise you won't be able to concentrate."

I glanced over at him. "What in the world is that supposed to mean? I've got a psycho vampire chasing me, I deserve answers!."

He sighed, telling me to take a left. "You're not to tell your husband or any of them about this."

"Why? I can't keep things from him Joel… I love him."

"I know you do Fay and that's why I need you to keep him, your son and everyone else safe. If you open your mouth there will be chaos and well… your pack will lose."

I swallowed back a sob. "So… so I can't tell him what you're about to tell me?."

"No."

"O-Okay, just… just tell me."

"Alexander and his gang want your son."

My breath caught in my throat and without realizing it, I let go of the steering wheel. One second later I was in the passenger seat, Joel was now driving.

It felt like my world had just come crashing down. I thought that it was bad enough if a vampire wanted me but Noah… I never saw that coming, not in a million years. I couldn't even speak. All I could think of was Noah.

A minute later and Joel pulled over to the side of the road as I threw up on a patch of grass outside.

I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt tears dripping from my chin onto the ground.

"I'm so sorry," Joel whispered as he held back my hair.

In response, my mobile buzzed in my jeans pocket. Making sure I was done with all the throwing up, I shoved my hand into my pocket, took it out and answered it.

I could hear loud music in the background. "Fay where are you? It's nine fifty."

Paul.

Taking a deep breath, I replied. "I-I can't make it."

There was a moment of silence.

"Why?."

"I don't feel too good."

"Aw babe, I'll come over okay?."

A tear escaped my eye. "No don't, I'm not at home at the moment."

"Then where are you? I'll come get you."

My eyes scanned the area I was in but then I realized I couldn't tell him.

"Paul… you just go home when you want…" a sob escaped my lips, I couldn't help it.

"Fay are you crying?," he asked, sounding worried.

Another tear escaped my eye as I answered him. "I'll be back soon."

"Soon? Fay how long is soon?."

The truth was, I didn't think I could go home tonight. Obviously Joel wanted to take me somewhere because the area we were in was definitely unfamiliar. But hearing Paul's voice had me aching to tell him everything. I yearned to be wrapped in his arms knowing Noah was alright.

I glanced behind me at Joel, he was sitting in the car shaking his head at me as if to say 'don't tell him'. So I did the right thing and answered Paul's question.

"I… I don't know."


	9. Misery

**A/N: Sorry for the delay guys, life has been pretty busy lately. Thank you all for the reviews and for taking your time to read this story. I really appreciate it.**

**Anyway on with the chapter, cheers.**

**Chapter 9: Misery**

**Paul P.O.V**

'I don't know' was all she said before the line went dead. I stared down at my phone in confusion and disbelief before I realized it was shattering in my firm grip. It fell from my hand in pieces, my palm bleeding slightly but healing at the same time.

Something about the way she spoke to me, gave me a bad feeling. But I knew I was obviously jumping to conclusions after everything that's happened. She needs some space, I get it, I really do. It's just… why from me?

To make matters worse she has to bail on me, on everyone tonight. I've been an emotional wreck lately, hiding it with fake smiles and focusing on more important things like Noah… like Fay. So I decided to throw her a small surprise party at my parents house but she's not coming.

And now I have to tell everybody.

Bending down and picking up the pieces of my now broken phone, someone rested their hand on my shoulder. I took a discreet sniff at the air but surprisingly I couldn't match the persons scent with anyone I knew.

"I'll look after that." A soft female voice said.

Slowly I stood up to my full height, her hand falling from my shoulder at the same time. It just felt weird having someone unknown touch me, it sent chills down my spine.

I turned to face her.

"Jasmine?," I asked in shock.

"Paul." She smiled.

Jasmine was an ex girlfriend of mine. Although we never really broke up in the first place. We were both fifteen, she lived next door, her parents were friendly with mine and I guess that was what brought us together.

I wasn't really much of the dating type of guy but I really liked her at the time. She was pretty, smart and had a bit of a tomboy in her which was different to most girls. We dated for three months. It was a fairly innocent relationship but then her parents decided to move back to Texas where they were originally from.

So we said our goodbyes and that was it.

And now she's back.

"Get over it Paul, I'm only back for a few months, staying with my grandma down the road."

"Okay… wow… I'm… wow."

She laughed her high pitched girly laugh I remembered so clearly. "You're shocked? I should be the one who's shocked. You're enormous now!."

It was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, it's in my blood."

"Bet all the girls are going wild for you." She winked.

"I'm m-." I bit my tongue. "Yeah they were."

It was strange how normally I loved telling people that I was married to Fay but tonight I couldn't find it in me to tell Jasmine. After all the hurt Fay has been causing me lately, I just felt like having a Fay-free night. After all she was having a lot of Paul-free nights.

"Were? Yeah right, bet they still are."

I blushed. "So how have you been? Any men in your life?."

She shook her head, causing her long black curls to brush her cheeks and that was when I finally took in her appearance.

Her face still had that soft look to it. The big green eyes, so innocent and pure. The chubby red cheeks and big lips that always seemed to smile. Yet she looked older and more mature. Perhaps more experienced.

She was taller too, reaching about 5'9 which was a shocker considering she was only 5'2 when I had last seen her.

And her body was definitely curvier. Not to mention she looked nice tonight in a simple knee-length lilac dress. What she was doing standing in my parents hall while the pack along with their imprints were in the living room was beyond me.

"No? ah well he'll come around someday."

She looked away from me then. "Sometimes you don't know what you have till it's gone."

I swallowed. Knowing in the back of my mind that she was referring to me.

"So what brings you here? Did my parents invite you over?," I asked flatly.

She flinched slightly at my question. "No… no I just dropped by to say hello, saw two girls setting up the room for a party I guess? And asked if I could help."

"But you're still here." I pointed out.

"Yes I am but I won't bother you anymore," she said. Turning on her heel but not before I noticed her eyes tear up.

I grasped her arm. "Jasmine." It sounded wrong coming from my mouth, I used to always call her Jas. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm just confused."

She turned to face me again as I released her arm. "I came back because I wanted to see you. I knew you'd be here for whoever's party it is. I didn't get to see your parents because they weren't in but I thought it'd be nice if I could just see you all again. Even if it was the last time."

A mixture of emotions filled my veins, spreading throughout my body and flooding my brain. The young fifteen pre-wolf boy in me felt sorry for her, wanted to hold her and tell her I was happy to see her.

But the older me, the one I am now, felt irritated and taken aback by what she said. It was wrong, no other woman should want to see me in the way she does except Fay. She was wrong for thinking that maybe we'd have another chance and I was wrong.

Wrong for not telling her I was married with a baby.

"Jasmine I'm-."

"You're sorry? it's fine just forget it, it doesn't matter anyway. I'll just say hello to your parents and leave. Bye Paul."

"Stop that! Stay for the party, it's not even a surprise party anymore." I said the last part bitterly. "The person's not coming."

"Oh."

"So?."

She sighed before nodding. "Okay, but no nonsense talk Paul, we've got a lot of catching up to do."

I laughed. "Whatever you say Jasmine."

**Fay P.O.V**

_I am in misery_

_There ain't nobody who can comfort me (Oh Yeah)_

_Why won't you answer me_

_The silence is slowly killing me (Oh Yeah)_

_Girl you really got me bad_

_You really got me bad_

_And I'm gonna get you back_

_I'm gonna get you back_

Misery by Maroon 5 blasted through the speakers of my car. You could say I was a Maroon 5 fan and that their latest song suited my situation at the moment- Kind of. And so much to Joel's dislike, I had the volume up full blast as streams of tears flowed down my cheeks.

I felt like my world was slowly crumbling and that I had to stop it before it all fell down.

On one hand I was happy that it wasn't me Alexander and his gang wanted. That Joel turned out to be the good guy and that we got away from that bar safe and sound.

But on the other hand, I was completely and utterly horrified at the new information I received from Joel. That Alexander and his gang wanted my baby, me and Paul's baby, Noah. Why? How could they even think of taking a helpless little baby from its parents? It disgusted me.

And to make myself feel even worse about it all, I wasn't even home with Noah now. No, I was in a car with a half vampire- half human which I knew one hundred percent that Paul wouldn't be in the least bit happy about.

So in order to keep my sanity, I kept my eyes on the road, let the music blare into my ears and followed Joel's directions to wherever he wanted to take me.

_You say your faith is shaking_

_That you may be mistaken_

_To keep me wide awake and waiting for the sun_

_I'm desperate and confused_

_So far away from you_

_And I'm getting there_

_I don't care where I have to run_

_Why do you do what you do to me (Yeah)_

_Why won't you answer me, answer me (Yeah)_

Joel switched the radio off then.

"Hey!," I hissed. Reaching out for it but he grasped my hand.

"Fay the house is just around the corner and by the looks of things, the music is just making you feel worse."

"Hah! As if anything could make me feel any better."

I turned the corner and somehow the muddy road I drove up looked familiar. It wasn't until I pulled up outside the old house that I knew why.

"What's the matter?," he asked as I refused to leave the car.

"I've been here."

He frowned. "Okay…"

"Paul took me here, he said an old man used to own it and that he gave the keys to his father."

Joel swallowed. "Well shouldn't you be happy then? At least you've got a memory of yourself and Paul here."

I gave him a look. "You think this is some kind of game? You think this funny? They're after my child Joel! My baby!," I screamed. My throat burning with the over use of my voice.

"Fay calm down." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I'm here to help-."

"Don't touch me!."

"Don't you realize Fay? You are helping your family just by being here!."

"How could I be? Huh? They're not after me, they're after Noah! Me being here is one less person to stand in their way!."

"You're wrong. You think they're stupid enough to just head on into La Push and risk getting attacked by a pack of gigantic wolves? I don't think so."

"What are you trying to say?," I asked confused.

"They need you. They need to capture you, so that Paul will come looking for you who they will eventually capture if he travels alone and then that means no parental protection for Noah. But you never know, they could have anything planned knowing them. Unlucky you had to bump into Alex today, he recognizes your scent now."

"So.. they want.. me?."

He nodded. "You first then Noah."

"And so why did you pick this place?."

"Well they'd never look here, not in a million years. Alexander knows you're with me so he'll probably think I took you back to my place or maybe to the Cullen's."

"You're friends with the Cullen's right?," I asked.

"Yes."

"How come they never speak of you?."

He shrugged, his eyes drifting to my left hand resting on my lap. I could tell he was focusing on my wedding ring.

And for just a moment I remembered my wedding day. It was so perfect, so very perfect that the perfection came out in the photo's as well. People just loved looking through the wedding album and I always knew why.

Paul and I always told each other how much we loved one another. How happy we were together and that we would never ever betray each other no matter what the consequences.

So I asked myself if going to Mike's bar today was a betrayal to Paul and I came to the conclusion that going wasn't betraying Paul, after all I went so that I could finally say goodbye to Joel and never have to see him again. I also went because he saved my life and he deserved that much.

But not telling Paul that I was going _was_ betraying him and that was the reason I was so mad at myself. He didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve the way I had been treating him lately. I was trying to block him out until I ended this madness with Joel. And now I know that it was wrong.

Because he's my everything, my sole purpose for living. Don't get me wrong I did feel guilty while I pushed him away, I felt it in my bones, running through my veins, in my heart and in my soul. It was horrible.

I thought I was doing it for the best but now I don't believe in myself anymore. How can a person as messed up as me know what's best? The answer is I don't.

I don't know what's best anymore.

"So." I started, turning to look at Joel. "Will I be safe here?."

He smiled. "As safe as you'll ever be."

**Paul P.O.V**

In the past hour I found out a lot of things about Jasmine as we sat at the table in my parents kitchen.

One: She's absolutely positive that she wants to move back to La Push.

Two: She's never forgotten the past- our past that is.

Three: She thinks Noah is the cutest thing ever.

Four: She still loves football so her and the boys- Seth, Colin and Brady- are going to team up later much to Sam and the rest of the pack's dislike.

Five: She's completely oblivious to the fact that I'm married and that Noah is mine.

Basically the night went well. No one mentioned Fay which was odd but I put it to my disappointment that she never showed up so obviously nobody wanted to remind me.

Everyone seemed to like Jasmine as I introduced her to the pack, hell even Leah seemed to take a shine to her.

So while everyone enjoyed themselves in the living room and out the back, dancing to music, eating barbeque. Jasmine and I headed into the kitchen to catch up on each other's lives. I was quite thankful my parents didn't get back yet, they said something about a traffic jam.

And why was I happy they weren't back? Because obviously they'd tell Jasmine that I was married with a baby straight away and well I wasn't really in the mood of explaining the whole story to her, it wasn't easy telling people when they didn't know my secret- the packs secret.

Oh and I was enjoying my Fay-free time. I mean she was obviously enjoying being away from me and probably still is so why should I sit around thinking of her when I can pretend I'm happy for a while.

Besides I'll see her when I get home. Hopefully she'll be in a good mood.

"You're doing it again." She chuckled.

I blinked my eyes. "What?."

"Staring off into space."

"Again?," I asked.

She nodded, a smile playing on her lips. "You do it every two minutes."

I blushed. "Sorry… I'm just tired."

"Is that a question?."

"Is what a question?."

"I'm pretty sure there was an invisible question mark after 'tired'."

"No, I am tired."

"Whatever you say…"

I smiled. "Can I ask you something?."

"You just did," she replied. Taking a swig of her beer.

I would have never pegged Jasmine for a drinker, it was something that just looked wrong on a girl like her.

Fay never ever drinks, only the odd glass of wine now and then but she never drinks. And it suits her, there's just something about Fay. Like she'd just sit there at a get together while everyone drank and sometimes when I was going over my limit she'd just touch my arm and tell me it was time to leave.

And I didn't mind because I knew I was going home with her, that I would spend the rest of the night with her and I admit usually when I was drunk I'd fall into bed and pass out but a part of me always knew she was there next to me.

Where she belongs.

"Okay that's it, up to bed," Jasmine ordered. Raising herself out of her chair, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I laughed, rubbing my eyes. "Don't mind me."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not that that I _mind_ you, it's that I can't stand you just disappearing into another world like that."

"I can't help it."

"And you've got this dreamy look on your face…" she trailed off. Her eyes looked uncertain.

"Yeah well I guess you're right, I better get home," I replied. Raising myself off the chair.

She came over and swatted me across the arm with a cloth playfully. "You are home silly! See how tired you are?."

Before I had a chance to answer her, the kitchen door opened and guess who walked in? my parents. Lovely.

My mother's hand bag fell to the floor. "Jas?."

My father on the other hand gave Jasmine a smile before shooting me a quizzical look.

I shrugged in response before my mother had her arms wrapped around Jasmine's shoulders. She asked her the usual: How are you?; How are your parents?; Are you moving back?; When did you get here?; Where are you staying and blah blah blah.

By the time both my parents had asked enough questions, they turned to me and I knew this was the moment I was dreading all night.

"Have you introduced Jas to Fay?," mom asked.

I shook my head, shoving my hands into my jean pockets. "Nah Fay couldn't um… make it."

"Who's Fay?," Jasmine asked confused.

"That's a good question," my dad said. His lips pressed into a thin line as he glared at me.

Suddenly my blue t-shirt felt like it clung to my skin with sweat.

I locked eyes with Jasmine. "Fay's my wife."

She didn't even get a chance to respond or digest the new information before my mom spoke.

"Yeah that's why we were having a party, for her, poor girl….." Mom went on to tell Jasmine about Fay's accident.

That was probably the most awkward situation in my life. I mean it's one thing not to tell your ex (not that being fifteen and dating is a big deal but still) that you're married with a child but it's another thing when your parents do it for you without your permission. Not that anyone _needed_ permission, it just felt wrong telling Jasmine now.

"Mom, Dad, Jasmine I'm going to head home, I'm shattered."

They all nodded in response but Jasmine shot me a look. Oh if looks could kill…

Heading out the back I found Jared playing with Noah in his arms. I knew from being with Jared in wolf form that he'd like a kid but he'd like to get married first. Something is up with him though, something to do with Kim.

I don't know what it is though, he does a good job of blocking it while were in wolf form (normally I like to call it 'while we're online' it's basically just like the internet. One wolf phasing in is just like one signing in online then we can chat. I try my best to remain offline, hate passing time in wolf form when I could be spending it with my family).

Five minutes later and I found myself stepping out onto the porch with Noah in my arms.

"Paul."

I bit my lip, turning around. "Hey…"

"Noah- he's your son?," she asked. Her eyes resting on Noah a moment.

"Yeah."

We just stood there staring at each other for a few seconds. Surprisingly Jasmine didn't seem angry or hurt just shocked.

"Why didn't you tell me?."

"I couldn't… I'm sorry… it's just Fay couldn't make it tonight after all she's been through and I guess I just felt rejected and hurt. It just feels like she doesn't want me around lately so I wanted to focus on other things tonight instead of her." I paused before continuing. "Don't get me wrong, Fay is my everything and Noah too but tonight I just wanted to enjoy myself."

A small smile formed on her lips. "You wanted to pretend you were fifteen again?."

I knew what she was getting at.

"No. I wanted to pretend that Fay was here tonight and that I was happy."

Her smile faded. "Well she'll be waiting for you."

"I know," I replied. Wondering whether Fay would be in a good mood.

Then just like that, Jasmine leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I'll see you soon, goodnight."

And I wondered whether that was a good thing. There seemed to be a gleam in her eye that I didn't like.

"Night," I replied before turning on my heel and heading home, Noah staring up at me the whole time.

But when I got my home, Fay was nowhere to be seen.

**Fay P.O.V **

Joel was gone.

He said something about food and drink but an hour seemed far too long for _him_ to take a trip to the supermarket.

So sitting in the rocking chair I had once sat in the morning Paul took me here, I allowed myself to go over everything that's happened to me lately. Starting with Leah.

How did she know that Joel saved me? and why did she keep it a secret from everyone? Yes, I knew Leah didn't particularly like me but she didn't really like anyone did she? But she went too far with this.

If she had told the pack, Paul would have probably gone mad at the thought of Joel saving me but surely Sam and the rest of the guys would have calmed him down. However Leah didn't tell them and I wanted to know why.

Sitting here wasn't going to get me any answers though.

So I moved onto someone else.

Joel.

He's been very nice, very helpful and very understanding. Yet, I can't seem to figure out what he was doing in La Push at the time of my accident. And how come _none_ of the pack picked up on his scent? It wasn't normal.

And the flowers and chocolates. Had Alexander and his gang sent me them for the fun of it? If so, how come the pack couldn't pick up their scent off them either? And why did Leah pay attention to the gifts? Did she know who bought them? Because Joel said he hadn't.

What if Joel was lying? But he seemed so nice.

He fixed up my car once, bought me lunch at the Diner, saved my life, bought me drinks at the bar, had deep conversations with me, earned my trust, told me what Alexander and his gang wanted, brought me here to keep me safe…

Then I remembered what Joel had said to me earlier: _"They need you. They need to capture you, so that Paul will come looking for you who they will eventually capture if he travels alone and then that means no parental protection for Noah. But you never know, they could have anything planned knowing them. Unlucky you had to bump into Alex today, he recognizes your scent now."_

And everything clicked into place then.

Joel earned my trust so that he could take me here willingly. It was all part of the plan, he even told me what the plan was but I was so stupid that I didn't realize _he_ was part of the gang. How could he have known all that about them? And he did say, they could have anything planned _knowing_ them. Hell, he knew Alexander would be at the bar today!

They're all waiting for Paul to come get me now and it's all my fault.

Before I had the chance to make a run for it, or to call Paul on my mobile. The front door slammed open and like the speed of light, Alexander appeared in the room, facing me with an evil grin on his face.

"You're so gullible aren't you?."

I gulped.

"You can speak _Fay_, I won't bite you… yet."

My eyes started to blur.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?."

My body felt weak.

"I can't hear you, speak up."

He was right in front of me now, his face inches from mine as I leaned back into the rocking chair.

"Are you waiting for him, for lover boy to come rescue you? Is he always your hero?."

I looked away from him.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I want your child Noah? Huh?."

I fought back the urge to smack him across the face.

"Because he's half human, half wolf and well we'd like a different kind of breed in our gang what do you think? Joel's half vampire so half wolf would be good. Besides he wouldn't hate us, we'd raise him. Even better than the way you and your hubby are doing."

The room started to spin then. I couldn't believe this was what I brought myself into and there was no turning back.

His ice cold hand stroked my cheek. "You're so pretty."

"Don't touch me," I hissed. Surprising myself.

"Oh back to your brave self? Bet you can't beat this."

And he smacked me hard across the face, causing the rocking chair to knock over, bringing me face down onto the floor. I screamed out in pain, clutching the side of my face where it burned like never before.

He laughed. "Or this."

His right foot connected with my side in a powerful kick that sent me crashing into the wall. Causing me to wail.

"Or maybe just this."

He picked me up and threw me across the room, the left side of my body smashing into the wall with unbearable pain.

But I blocked his voice out this time and instead thought of Paul, of my hero, my knight in shining armor. My love. My life.

Alex's fist connected with my shoulder.

_"Fay relax." He leaned in, pressing his lips to my shoulder. "I love you."_

_So I did. "I love you too."_

Alex grabbed a fistful of my hair and forced me to look at him.

_Paul tugged at my hair as he kissed me passionately. "I need you."_

_In response I wrapped my legs around his waist, kissing him back._

Alex trailed his index finger down my neck.

_His swollen lips trailed down my neck, nipping at the most sensitive parts._

_"Paul," I sighed. My hands dipping under the water to find the waistband of his swimming shorts._

Alex licked his lips.

_It felt naughty to be in the sea at two in the morning, knowing anyone might see us._

_"It's our honeymoon, besides I'll know if someone's coming," he whispered into my ear._

Alex squeezed my thigh painfully.

_Once Paul had discarded his swimming shorts, the heels of my feet pressed into his bare backside__._

_His teeth grazed my bottom lip as he reached behind me, undoing my bikini._

Alex picked me up.

_Paul lay me down on a large rock in the middle of the sea._

_I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me, our naked bodies pressing together._

Alex grasped my face in his hands.

_Our lips molded together, muffling the sounds of our moans._

_His body moved with mine in perfect unison._

Alex hit me across the head.

_"Paul I… I don't… know… wh-what… to say," I gasped out. Pressing my face into his chest._

_His arms wrapped around me, his breathing heavy. "There __**is**__ nothing to say, it was too perfect. Indescribable."_

My body fell to floor and before the blackness took over me, I remembered the last part of that night.

_He pecked me on the lips, the cool air washing over our bodies. "This is the way it'll always be."_

_"I'll always be here for you, I love you," I replied. Leaning up to kiss him again._

_"Never ever leave me because I'll never ever leave you, I'll always be there for you," he breathed against my lips._

_"I promise I'll never leave you, you're my everything Paul," I told him. Staring up into his dark eyes._

_"I'll be your hero." He smiled. "Always."_


	10. The Imprint

**A/N: So a lot of you think Fay is being cruel to Paul, that wasn't my intention. Basically Fay is just a normal teenager who does make mistakes, she isn't perfect. So maybe getting herself involved with Joel was a mistake… or maybe it wasn't.**

**Either way she's young and doesn't always make the right choices so sorry if I made you all think she hated Paul and was falling for Joel. That wasn't the case at all.**

**Anyway a big THANK YOU to all my readers and reviewers. I appreciate the fact that you're still reading the story, my updates are slow I know. My life's just been busy lately and I apologize for that.**

**So I won't bore you any longer, here's the next chapter.**

**Cheers x **

**Chapter 10: The Imprint**

**Fay P.O.V**

"Are you sure this will work?," voice number one asked.

"It better," voice number two added.

"Keep it down!," a voice that I was sure was Alex's hissed.

I was laying somewhere out in the open, my hands tied behind my back and my ankles tied together by a rope. I couldn't find it in me to open my eyes, afraid that they'd hurt me if they caught me watching them. My whole body was sore and weak. When I moved, the pain was unbearable in my arms that I ended up slitting my bottom lip from biting down on it so hard.

The blood tasted salty on my tongue and I was perfectly aware that Alexander and his gang would smell it. Luckily they never said or did anything.

Joel seemed to have disappeared. The last time I had seen him was in the old house. I wondered briefly whether he was up to something. And then I started to panic, picturing him in my house, taking Noah.

But then I remembered what he had said to me and relief washed over me.

They wouldn't be stupid enough to take Noah while Paul was still in La Push, that's why I was here on the muddy ground somewhere. So that Paul would come for me and so that they could capture him _then_ take Noah.

How would they get past the rest of the pack though? Then again who knows what they're capable of.

"What took you so fucking long?," Alex spat.

"The Cullen's! That's what," Joel replied.

I shivered. A million thoughts flooded my mind. They had something planned, I just hoped it didn't consist of beating me up until I blacked out.

"The Cullen's?," the trio asked in unison.

"Yeah, they were _hunting_." Joel chuckled. "How messed up is that? Who are they kidding huh? They're vampires! Anyway I passed them by-."

Alex cut him off. "You passed them by? What the fuck Joel!."

"My mind was elsewhere you douche! Now shut it! I'm in charge here. How else would that beauty be lying there eh?."

"Pfft, we could've done it without you-."

"Oh yeah? Can you eat human food so that your eyes remain golden? Do you have the ability to disguise your scent as a 'human' scent? Are you as fast as me? No! So zip it!."

There was silence for a moment before Alex spoke. "What did they say?."

"The Cullen's were wondering who I was and what I was here for, so I lied. Told them I was here visiting my human relatives and took off. They saw my eyes so they didn't suspect anything."

So it was Joel who had sent me the gifts. And damn it, why didn't I ever think of vampires and their special abilities? His one was very useful to an evil group like theirs. That's the reason why he was able to wander around La Push without alerting the pack. He disguised his scent.

Which means if Paul leaves Noah with his parents or even with Emily while the rest of the pack are on guard, it won't be too hard for Joel to slip past them and take… no. I couldn't even think of it.

My heartbeat picked up and tears brimmed my eyes as my motherly instincts took over, telling me to go protect Noah but I couldn't.

It was impossible. I felt like the worst mother alive. Noah deserved better.

So did Paul. This was the whole reason I was his imprint, so I could have his children and carry on the gene. I was chosen as the perfect woman for him. The best woman to mother his babies. And now look. I've really let myself down.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered shakily to Paul and Noah. Although I knew they couldn't hear me.

A foot nudged my side so that I was laying on my back. I hissed with the tremors that shot up through my arm.

"What are you sorry for? Being an idiot?," Joel asked. I could tell he was standing next to me.

"Yes," I whispered back. A tear escaping my closed eye.

"Aw, well how about we let you and Paul have a moment together when he eventually finds you _then_ we'll take him away. Better than nothing right?," he suggested with an evil chuckle.

I had to hand it to him though, he was definitely a good actor. Great actually. And such a horrible person.

"Joel hurry up!," Alex shouted.

Suddenly I was sitting upright with my back against the trunk of a tree, my hands tied together in front of me while my torso was tied to the tree by rope. My ankles were also still tied together. Which meant I was completely helpless.

And then unexpectedly, Joel's fist connected with my jaw and I cried out in pain.

Blood pooling in my mouth.

"Part of the plan babe, how else will Paul be able to sniff you out?."

"Come on Joel, we gotta move!," Alex said.

They disappeared then, leaving me beaten, bloody and cold.

My jaw throbbed with the blow Joel had given me, but I knew that thankfully it wasn't broken.

If only I had listened to Paul in the first place. He knew that Joel was up to no good. But I was stupid, I thought that he only felt like that because Joel was a vampire (half-breed but Paul didn't know that).

Leah must've known though, she must've known that Joel was a bad guy. I just couldn't believe that she could do something like this to me, especially since I was her pack members imprint. She really let herself down.

Then I thought of my parents and my brother. I loved them so much. They'd be so upset with me right now.

I don't blame Joel or Alex or anyone on this, I blame it on myself. There was one thing I was proud to say I wasn't and that was I was not selfish. I did this for my family, I thought I could say goodbye to Joel tonight. To end everything with him so that things could go back to normal.

But I guess I was wrong.

My eyes opened then and all I could see was trees. I was surrounded by them. Even if I wasn't tied up, I'd probably never find my way out of this forest. Not to mention it was pitch dark and I hadn't even got a torch light.

I looked down at my shirt and in the darkness I could make out the large blood stain on it. The blood continued to drop from chin, there wasn't much left in my mouth though.

Suddenly I heard movement to my right. I jerked my head up in the direction it came from but I couldn't see anything.

My heart beat picked up and every sore part of my body throbbed. What if it was them again?

It wasn't them though, because when the person appeared in front of me in a muddy white dress I almost fainted with shock.

"Leah?," I asked in disbelief.

She knelt down in front of me and I could tell her eyes were tearing up. "Oh my… oh Fay I'm so sorry."

A sob escaped my mouth. "How could you?."

"Fay I swear to you that I have nothing to do with this. I had no idea, I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you tell the pack then? Why didn't you tell them it was Joel that saved me? why didn't you tell them about the gifts?."

She shook her head, a tear escaping her eye. "I was mad then… mad that you were upsetting Paul with all this Joel drama that I forced myself not to."

"How did you know it was Joel that saved me? and how did you know about the gifts?."

"I was there in the woods by the road but he didn't seem to notice me, he was so focused on saving you. I almost ran out to push you out of the way but he got there before me… then he just disappeared like all those vampires do. Funnily enough I couldn't pick up on his scent."

"And the gifts?."

"Yeah well." She began to tear apart the rope around my wrists. "I just guessed because I couldn't pick up any scent and you had no idea who sent them."

I groaned with the soreness of my wrists being released, they looked raw. "And-."

She cut me off. "Fay we've got to get going, we haven't got much time."

"You know?," I asked.

"Yeah," she replied. Removing the rope around my waist that attached me to the tree trunk. "The Cullen's approached me while I was passing through Forks."

Her eyes met mine, they looked… sheepish.

"What were you doing in Forks Leah?."

"I'll tell you later but-."

"Does Paul know?," I whispered.

She shook her head. "Not yet. Anyway come on, I've got to take you somewhere."

I screamed out in pain as she picked me up off the ground.

"I'm sorry." she said.

"It's okay," I squeaked. Squeezing my eyes shut, trying my best not to scream again. "W-Where are you taking me?."

"I can't tell you now."

"What? Why?," I gasped.

"Because there's leeches out here that shouldn't know."

I didn't ask any more questions after that, instead I leaned into Leah's chest, happy to feel safe after everything. Somehow I'd pay her back for saving me.

But first, I needed Paul. I needed to tell him everything. We needed to protect Noah.

The question was, would he even listen to me? I've let him down, kept secrets from him, pushed him away and now I'd be throwing myself at him full force. Begging for forgiveness, telling him how sorry I am and yearning for his love.

What if, right now he's so mad at me that he'll lose it when he finds out about everything. Didn't he have something planned for us tonight at his parents? And instead of going, instead of spending time with my family, I headed out into Port Angeles to meet up with a vampire. A vampire I should've stayed away from.

Bet Leah doesn't think too much of me now, not that she'd admit it at the moment. Then again maybe she would, and I wouldn't blame her.

I started this game, pulling the pack into it out of my own stupidity. What if one of them got hurt, then what? It'd be my fault.

There was no way I could put an end to this though, I was just a fragile human.

Maybe someday Paul would forgive me, maybe. After everything that's happened, I doubt that our imprint connection can make things better. But I'll feel bad about that some other time because now I had to focus on our baby, Noah.

With that last thought I passed out in Leah's arms.

* * *

_My feet hurt from the hours of walking I had done. I was barely clothed, just a white oversized t-shirt that fell to my knees covered my nakedness._

_I could make out my home- our home- in the near distance. A smile managed to cross my lips no matter how tired I was and I ran. I ran so fast it hurt. It was worth it though, my baby was there, so was Paul._

_Sadly, I tripped over my two own feet, falling onto my face. It hurt, it hurt really bad but I wouldn't give up._

_No I would suck it all up and carry on my journey. I was so close now. So very close._

_"Fay?," the most beautiful masculine voice I had ever heard called._

_I scrambled to my feet, turning to face him. "Paul."_

_He stood by a tree, clad in a pair of grey shorts, the forest dark and misty behind him.._

_A look of shock flashed across his face before it turned into disgust. "You need to leave."_

_"Wh…" I couldn't find my voice. How could he say such a thing? _

_He looked away from me. "Just leave."_

_My jaw dropped. "But… how can you say that?."_

_His dark eyes met mine, his expression suddenly bitter. "How? You're asking me how? Hah! How about I ask you how you abandoned me and our child to run off with some bloodsucker huh? What had he got that I didn't? oh right, everything."_

_"No it wasn't-."_

_He raised his hand up to silence me. "I know what he did to you but Fay, I won't ever take you back. I swear. You disgust me."_

_I fell to my knees, shock stricken. "Paul," I whispered. "He hurt me, all I was trying to do was keep you both safe."_

_Paul was suddenly before me, bending down so he could stare right into my face. "You're the last person who could keep me or Noah safe, and he hurt you? How? Did he break your heart? Wait… are you carrying his child now? Unbelievable."_

_"No! no we didn't… oh my…. Paul you have to understand-."_

_He cupped my cheek in his warm hand. "No matter how beaten up you are, both physically and mentally, it doesn't matter to me anymore. Goodbye Fay."_

_Before I knew it he was up and off, disappearing into the woods. Leaving me hurt, cold and heartbroken on the ground._

_I had never known the imprint could be broken._

"Fay? Are you alright?," a voice asked.

My eyes opened a crack to find Bella Swan looking down at me.

"Bella?," I whispered.

"Bad dream?," she said.

I nodded, relief washing over me. it didn't last long though. Paul didn't know anything yet….

She bit her lip. "Well how about I get you cleaned up? Carlisle wants to have a look at you."

"Who's Carlisle?," I asked.

"Oh um, he's Edwards dad. He's a doctor."

I frowned. "But he's a vampire."

She chuckled. "Yeah, it's a long story but you'll be safe, don't worry."

Without asking any more questions, I allowed Bella to help me up off the bed I found myself lying on and into the bathroom.

Bella told me she'd wait outside by the door as I took a bath. So with all the strength I had, I washed my body down, squinting and gasping at times at the very sore parts_._

My thighs were purple with bruises, my shins were scratched. Some cuts deeper than others but none that needed stitches. My sides and tummy had the odd bruise here and there, which I was thankful for as it could have been worse. My arms were a different story though. They were slashed, bruised, cut and scratched, dried blood everywhere.

I felt the need to cry but I wouldn't. I wouldn't cry over what they did to me. they didn't deserve my tears. The only people who deserved them were Noah and Paul… and my family of course. But those psycho leeches? Never. No matter how bad I hurt.

Avoiding looking in any mirrors at how bad my face looked, I slowly raised myself out of the bath and grabbed the towel Bella left for me, wrapping it around myself securely.

By accident though, I stared right into the mirror over the sink.

I gasped, clasping a hand over my mouth.

My left eye was half-closed, swollen and purple. My bottom lip was slit and bloodstained. My cheeks were scratched. And my nose was swollen. I looked like a freak show.

"Fay are you done in there?," Bella called from behind the door.

"Yeah," I called back, my voice cracking.

Within minutes I was back in the bedroom I had been in before. Bella had me seated on a chair as she combed my hair, careful not to hurt me as I had a rather large bump on the back of my head.

"Where's Leah?," I asked. Trying to distract myself from thoughts of how beaten up I looked and Paul.

"Oh Leah left as soon as she dropped you off here."

"Where did she go?."

"She uh… she had to tell the pack…"

I froze. "Where's the Cullen's?."

"They left, Carlisle and Jasper are here though." She stopped combing my hair a moment and sat down on the floor in front of me. "I'm sorry about everything, I know it's really hard on you Fay. I've been through a lot too. But on the bright side, Paul loves you… I know how strong the imprinting bond is."

Sucking in a breath, I replied. "If the bond was so strong then why have I gotten myself into this situation? What if the dream comes true? What if an imprint can be broken…"

Bella reached out, placing a hand over mine which lay limp on my knee. "That's impossible Fay. We all know you got yourself into this situation to protect your family, even if it was a mistake, you did it with a good heart."

"Joel was so good at drawing me in, not in a romantic way but in a friendly, trustful way. Paul told me to stay away but I didn't listen, now look."

"Fay none of this is your fault, vampires are like that. Their beauty and charm suck you in."

I looked Bella in the eye then. "Did you know Joel saved me? That day I was going to get knocked down?."

She nodded. "Leah told us everything."

"Paul doesn't even know that," I told her before throwing my face into my hands. Taking deep calming breaths.

"Why are you afraid of him finding out?," She asked. Placing her hand on my knee.

"He'll be angry… angry at Joel being there in the first place, angry at me not telling him, angry at Leah for being there and doing nothing, angry why that's the reason I went to see Joel tonight in the first place. I thought that if I took him up on his offer to meet him tonight, it would be the least I could do after he saved my life and that I could finally say goodbye."

"But it wasn't that easy."

I shook my head. "It just made things worse."

Bella took my hands in hers and pulled them away from my face as she looked deep into my eyes. "You're a strong person Fay, not every girl would have done what you did. It wasn't your fault that you got yourself into a bad situation so don't beat yourself up about it. I know I admire you for that."

"Really?." I smiled weakly. "Thank you."

She hugged me then. "Don't mention it. We better get down to Carlisle though."

* * *

Carlisle was everything I never expected in a vampire; he was sweet, friendly, approachable, intelligent and for a while I forgot he was a vampire. He had seemed so human to me, how he handled blood I'd never know but admired him for it.

He also told me that everything Bella had said to me in the bedroom- I found out it was Edwards- was true. That what happened wasn't to blamed on me. I had never felt so touched by a stranger before.

After a while of examining me, it turned out I was perfectly fine except for the deep cuts I needed cleaned. I was still gutted over my face though, I had never looked so awful. It was horrible.

Jasper remained almost silent throughout the hour, except for the time he introduced himself to me.

Bella explained he had the power to calm people down, which I knew he used on me and was very grateful for.

"So I know the dress probably isn't your style, you can blame it on Alice," Bella joked as we sat on the sofa in the ever so modern living room.

I waved it off. "It's the thought that counts."

She had given me a dress, cream in color. It was probably a little too pretty for me at the moment: knee length; strapless; Frilly at the bottom. Bella had said that the less clothing I put on, the less I'd hurt my body.

Either way, I was grateful.

"Wolf pack," Jasper whispered.

Before Bella or I could ask him what he meant, someone started banging on the front door.

My heart rate accelerated as Bella spoke to me. "It's them… Paul… do you want to go upstairs or stay here?."

"I'll stay here," I said. Figuring that was probably my best option, no matter how terrified I was.

"Ready?," Jasper asked me as he suddenly appeared by the front door.

I nodded in response as Bella squeezed my hand in reassurance.

Jasper pulled the door open just as Carlisle entered the living room.

"Where is she?," I heard Jacob ask breathlessly.

"Fay!," Jared's voice boomed.

I shot Bella a worried look.

"They're just worried," she whispered.

Jared, Jacob and Seth entered the living room then. Their faces immediately turning pale the instant they saw my face.

"Fay? Are you okay?," Jared asked softly as he moved closer to me.

Jacob and Seth stood behind him, frozen in place. They looked… shocked. Shocked like I'd never seen before.

I nodded. "Yeah… I guess."

He knelt down in front of me. "We're going to take you home now okay?."

It felt weird that Jared was talking to me like that. I felt like a child again, over in my cousins house, wanting to go home and crying. My uncle telling me softly that he'd take me home, afraid that my cries would get worse.

"Does Paul know?," I found myself asking.

"Um…" he diverted his gaze to the floor. "Not yet."

"Why didn't you tell him?," Jasper asked suddenly. Sitting next to Bella.

Jacob glared at him, obviously over his 'shocked state'. "It's none of your business! And don't you dare try to use that magic of yours on me!."

Jasper chuckled. "Wasn't planning to."

"Jacob not now," Jared hissed over his shoulder before turning to me again. "We wanted to find out what happened and whether or not we could track down those vampires before telling Paul. Most of the Cullen's have gone on a search for them along with Sam, Quil, Leah and Embry. Leah told us what happened so just relax."

"When do you plan on telling him?," I asked.

"Collin and Brady are going to make sure Paul isn't home when you arrive, Emily will look after Noah for a while. Then when the rest of the pack get back, we'll all tell him at the same time. Keep him calm you know? Sound good?."

I nodded in response, taking it all in.

Bella helped me up before pulling me into a hug.

"Everything's going to be a fine, call me if you want to talk okay."

"Thanks Bella, thank you so much."

"That's what friends are for."

Next up were Jasper and Carlisle. I didn't know how much to thank them, especially Carlisle. I'd never forget how much they helped me.

Ten minutes later and I was in the passenger seat of Jacob's Rabbit, my body shivering with the cold.

I missed Paul's warmth… I missed everything about him.

No one said anything during the ride and I couldn't help but notice Seth shooting me glances every now and then. He looked freaked out to say the least. Even with him sitting in the back, I could feel his eyes on me.

When we pulled up outside my house, Jacob offered to take me inside.

"You sure you're going to be okay on your own?," he asked as we entered the hall.

I shrugged. "I have to look after myself."

He rested a hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry Fay."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks Jake."

"Come here," he said. Wrapping me up in his signature bear hug. "I was so worried about you, you have no idea."

"It was awful," I whispered.

"I know. Those filthy bloodsuckers! We'll get them Fay, I promise."

I nodded into his chest. "I believe you."

"Noah is safe in case you were wondering, we're all on guard."

My poor baby, what did he do to deserve this? Nothing.

"Well I better get going," Jake told me, breaking our hug. "We need to talk to Paul."

"Of course, be careful out there okay. Oh and Jake, that vampire, the one who got me into this, he's half human… he's in charge and he can disguise his scent so be careful"

He smiled. "Great info, I will, see you soon and call Emily if you need anything."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Bye," he said before running out the front door.

I shut the door behind him before making it upstairs to the bedroom. All the lights were on in the house, I could even smell Paul's muskiness as though he had only been here a minute ago. I glanced up at the clock in the hall.

It was four in the morning.

The bedroom door was shut, a fancy chain hung from the handle with a tiny pink cushion attached to it that read '_Do not disturb' _. I smiled to myself, remembering when Kim had given it to me when Paul and I had married.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled down the handle and walked into the bedroom. It looked exactly the same as it did yesterday, except for a white towel discarded on the floor near the end of the bed.

Typical of Paul.

Then suddenly I remembered what it felt like to be in this bedroom, without anything but happiness, joy and love on my mind.

I missed that so much.

I headed over to the bed and crawled in, laying my head down on Paul's pillow. It smelled just like him, so masculine, so alluring, so Paul.

That was what I needed, his scent. It somehow calmed me, made me relax, had me falling into a peaceful slumber...

A sudden slamming of the front door downstairs woke me up, I remained still, quite aware of the fact that it had to be Paul.

I heard him make his way up the stairs before I heard the floorboards creaking beneath his feet as he made his way closer to the bedroom.

On instinct, my hand flew up to the side of my face that wasn't pressed against the pillow. I suddenly didn't want Paul to see how I looked.

Even though my eyes were closed, I could tell he was standing by the doorway. Terrified of what he would say to me, I curled into myself a little more, biting down on my swollen bottom lip. I had never been this nervous in my life.

The floorboards creaked again as I felt him make his way over to the side of the bed I was laying. I could feel him next to me, his heat radiating onto me, his scent so unbelievably strong now.

He placed one of his warm hands over the hand I held over the side of my face. I bit my lip again, muffling a sigh that escaped my lips at the feel of his touch. God, how much I missed him.

His fingers pushed in between mine and before I realized what he was doing, my hand was back down at my side.

"No," I whispered. Burying my face into the pillow.

I wasn't ready for him to see me.

"Fay, let me see," he said. His voice more strained than it ever was.

I shook my head, once again feeling like a child. Only this time _I_ was making myself feel like one.

Next of all he pulled the sheet down over my body. His index finger running down over the slash on my arm.

I shivered in response.

He whispered something in Quileute before I felt his wet lips on my arm, kissing every cut I had. They moved slowly but lovingly and I yearned for it to be my lips he was kissing, not my arm.

The feeling didn't last long though, because he started looking over the rest of my body. I thought I heard him growl when his fingertips grazed my thighs. They were unrecognizable, just purple and terribly sore.

"Fay, please turn around. I need to see you." He begged.

So instead of hiding myself any longer, I decided to do as he wanted. What was I waiting for anyway.

I rolled onto my back and met his eyes.

They seemed more darker and glossier than normal as he took my appearance in, took in the state I was in.

This was the worst part for me, I wasn't an attention seeker. I hated when people would watch me for no reason, it had always made me uncomfortable. But now, everyone had something to look at. It was awful.

He cupped my cheek in his warm hand and it reminded me of the dream I had had earlier. But that ended badly… would Paul in real life end it badly too? He must be so mad at me.

"I thought you trusted me," he said. A tear falling from his eye onto the mattress.

"I've always trusted you," I replied.

Looking into his eyes made me feel special, no matter how angry, upset or disgusted he was with me, it was always there, that look that said I meant the world to him. Not to mention he looked so beautiful tonight.

His hair had grown a little longer; his shirtless body seemed to have grown stronger, his abs seemed more defined; his face had a mournful look about it that made him look younger and softer somehow.

Although it had only been half a day that I hadn't seen him, it felt like I hadn't seen him for years. Just shows me how oblivious I had been to the most important people around me because my mind was occupied with other, unimportant things.

"You're wrong Fay, you thought that if you told me everything I'd freak out, lose myself. That doesn't count as trusting me."

"But I only did it to protect you Paul."

"And you think that I wanted you to risk your life for me?."

I took a deep breath. "No."

"But you still did it Fay, you kept things from me, left me in the dark," he said. Sounding very disappointed.

"I'm sorry Paul, I love you."

"It's not enough anymore. You nearly got yourself killed, and my blood is sizzling beneath my skin because I want to tear those filthy bloodsuckers apart for doing this to you. I want to scream, I want to lose it, I really _really_ want to phase but I won't because I can control myself around you."

"I don't know what to say… I love you so much, I didn't know… I didn't know that you'd remain calm… I'm so sorry," I squeaked. Tears blurring my vision.

"You always say that though, you always tell me you love me but you still hide things from me. I mean I can expect that from Leah… I'm disgusted with her but you, my wife, my everything. Why? I treat you the way you should be treated but you treat me differently."

I leaned up, holding his face in my hands. "Paul stop please, you're the only man I care about, you're the only one I see, you're breaking my heart talking like that."

"You've already broken my heart Fay."

I gasped, my hands falling to my sides as I took his words in.

"That's not true," I said in disbelief.

"It is," he whispered. "You'll never know how bad you hurt me when I found out what happened tonight."

"But Paul I didn't do anything! It wasn't my fault what happened."

"You're right it wasn't, what _was_ your fault was keeping everything that lead up to this from me, what ever happened to the days where you were honest with me huh? Do you remember those days or have you forgotten?."

"Of course I do! You know what? When I was getting beaten, you know what I was thinking about? You know what helped take the pain away? That one night on our honeymoon, do you remember it?."

"That night will always mean something to me Fay, you know why? Because you trusted me then."

"Paul I still trust you! You imprinted on me, how could I not?."

"That's exactly it, _I_ imprinted on _you_, you didn't imprint on me, I can see now that imprints don't feel the same way about their wolf as their wolf feels about them."

"What are you trying to say?."

"What I'm trying to say is, I'll always love you more in every way." He paused, looking me straight in the eye. "I love you, so so very much, from the day that I first laid eyes on you I've loved you and that love just grew stronger and stronger with each and every day. You're my wife now, the mother of my child, but you broke my heart."

I was sobbing by the time he finished his speech. On instinct, I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face in his strong chest.

"I'm crazy about you." I said against him.

"Fay… I have to go."

I pressed myself closer to him, although it hurt. "No, please."

"There's things I need to take care of."

"I love you more than anyone, I love you and Noah equally," I told him. The tears pooling on his chest.

"Don't bring Noah into this," he said firmly.

I pulled away from him. "Noah is ours."

"Yes, so don't bring him into our problems."

"Stay and we can talk some more, sort this all out."

"Fay!." He stared hard at me. "There's no such thing as sorting out a broken heart, now I have to go."

I wiped my eyes with the backs of my hands, hissing with the pain of my swollen one.

"When will you be back?," I asked. Staring up at him.

"In a while," he told me, retreating from the bed.

"I'll wait up."

He paused as he reached the doorway, looking over his shoulder at me. "Don't bother, things have changed between us."

Before I had the chance to say anything, he left.

Everything we had was gone.

And it was all my fault.


	11. Love On The Line

**A/N: Okay so before you read the chapter, I must remind you that it's rated M for a reason. This chapter contains sexual content and bad language.**

**Thank you all for the reviews, and to everyone who has been reading, alerting and adding this story to their favorites.**

**I was thinking of ending the story pretty soon, maybe four more chapters? Let me know what you think and what you'd like to see happen- because I'll try and make it happen :)**

**Anyway on with the chapter…**

**Chapter 11: Love On The Line**

I didn't intend on waiting up for Paul last night, he didn't want me to, he said things had changed between us. Yet I couldn't find any sleep, I just lay there on his side of the bed, silent tears streaming down my cheeks onto the pillow.

Only hours beforehand was I in the middle of nowhere, being beaten by a group of vampires. I was the helpless, fragile human. I didn't know whether I was going to live. Then I was worried sick over the safety of my husband and child.

Wouldn't it have been wonderful if when I was rescued and brought back here, Paul held me in his arms. Telling me everything was going to be alright, that I was safe now? It would have been amazing.

But instead he did the complete opposite.

And I was left there, alone. I do blame it on myself though, after all, I'd say he was horrified by what he'd heard from the pack. What he said was true, it was my fault for not telling him before things got worse.

When he got back from wherever he was, he silently made it into the bedroom and into bed. I thought I had felt him smooth down my hair but it was too gentle and way too quick that I wasn't sure.

He didn't touch me again after that. He made it clear that he was in no mood for me and slept as far away as the bed would allow him to.

Sometime during that time I fell asleep, and now I'm awake, having no idea what to do.

Peeling myself out of the bed, sucking on my bottom lip in the process as a way to muffle my gasps at the soreness of my body. I made my way over to the wardrobe and started searching for my black sweats and t-shirt.

"I made you breakfast," Paul said. Appearing at the doorway, fully clothed for once in a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt.

I bit my lip, pondering over whether I should ask him to do me a certain favor. "Paul?."

"Hmm," he sounded.

"Can you… never mind," I said quickly. What the hell was I thinking? Just because I couldn't get the zipper down the back of my dress didn't mean he was the one who should do it. He despises me now.

"Well I'm going to get Noah, hopefully this will be the last time he's away from his parents," he told me before leaving.

I knew what he said was directed at me.

But I didn't say anything to him. What would be the point? He'd probably just leave anyway, sick and tired of hearing my voice. Was it bad of me to find it unfair though? To be treated in such a way after everything that's happened to me.

Like Bella and Carlisle had said, none of it was my fault, I was doing it with a good heart. In all honesty I was. There was no way anyone or anything could come between Noah and Paul. I couldn't believe what he'd said to me last night about wolves and their imprints.

Did I really seem that bad? Wasn't it clear how much I loved him and trusted him? I thought it was.

Half an hour later as I finished up in the kitchen, in walked Paul with baby Noah in his arms.

"Noah," I cried, a huge smile spreading across my face as I was handed my little baby.

His big brown eyes stared up at me and maybe I was going crazy but I thought I saw the corners of his little mouth turn upwards for just a second as he stared up at me, either way it brought happy tears to my eyes.

I hugged him close to me, whispering softly to him how much I missed and loved him. How that no matter what the situation, I wouldn't leave him like that again.

It pained me to know that Joel and his gang were still out there.

Glancing up at Paul, who stood directly in front of me, I found that his eyes were rested on Noah and that his face looked paler than usual. Sickly pale as a matter of fact.

"What's wrong?," I asked as I patted Noah's back.

His eyes met mine. "Jacob told us what you told him last night… about that half-leech being able to disguise his scent."

"And?."

He gulped. "There was absolutely no evidence of them in Forks _or_ La Push, not even a single trace."

My blood grew cold. "Maybe they're planning something? I doubt they just left."

"Of course they didn't leave, they won't stop until they get." He paused. "Noah."

"But aren't the Cullen's helping you guys out?."

He rolled his eyes. "We could handle this without the Cullen's, have a little faith in us."

I held Noah closer to me. "Don't tell me you're pushing them away."

Paul took a step closer to me. "This is about my son! I could rip those filthy bloodsuckers to pieces without anyone's help! He's my flesh and blood!," he hissed.

"He's ours, not yours, don't you forget that!."

"Oh how could I ever forget that with you standing here," he said. His words dripping with venom. Venom for me.

I cast my eyes downwards, hiding the hurt on my face before brushing past him. Holding Noah securely to me, I made it up the stairs and into his nursery. My body literally shaking with the hurt. I felt sick.

Placing a soft kiss on Noah's head, I gently lowered him into his crib before I sung him a little poem my parents had sung to me when I was small. My voice sounded horrible, because after what Paul had said to me, I was left speechless.

Ten minutes later, Noah fell into a peaceful sleep as I sat there by the crib, staring at his beautiful, innocent face. Praying and hoping that Joel and his gang wouldn't ever come near him. We needed the Cullen's help though.

With a sigh, I left the nursery and for the first time in a while, I decided to go into our old bedroom. It was bright when I entered, the sun shining through the windows casting a golden glow throughout the room.

My gaze landed on the bed, the bed Paul and I had slept in when we first moved here. The bed we slept together in yet we hadn't actually _slept_ together. The bed we made love in, the bed I lost my virginity to Paul in.

There were plenty of other memories too. But I chose not to think of them. I was depressed as it was, I didn't want to make myself feel worse. It wasn't fair on Noah, I needed to look after him properly. No matter how bad Paul hurt me.

Sticking up for myself was an option though….

"Is it that easy for you to forget about me? forget about everything we had huh?," I asked him.

He was sitting in an armchair in the corner of the living room, his elbows rested on his thighs, his head in his hands. To say the least, he looked miserable. Not to mention his body had been quivering until I made it clear I was present.

I stood in the middle of the room, keeping a safe distance between us as I waited for him to answer me.

"It's impossible," he whispered through his hands.

"Do you… do you wish it was possible?," I asked with a shaky voice.

He looked up at me, his hands no longer hiding his face. I couldn't make out whether he was crying or not. The only thing I was sure of was that his eyes were bloodshot.

"Fay I love you, I imprinted on you, you are exactly right for me. I would never ever wish it was possible, I'm just… god I'm just so hurt," he told me.

I took a step closer to him. "Well can you tell me what hurt you so much?."

"I told you last night, keeping things from me, not trusting me, all that. And on top of everything, I was hurting physically because last night you were getting hurt too."

"I'm sorry," I squeaked. Finding it hard to speak.

"I know you're sorry Fay, it's just.. sorry isn't always enough, I'm still hurting."

"What's enough when love isn't even enough? You know that I love you right? You didn't mean everything you said last night did you? About imprints not feeling the way their wolves feel… that their wolves will always love them more?."

He groaned. "I was in a really bad way last night."

I took a few steps closer until I was standing directly in front of him. "But you didn't mean it right?."

"No. I know that you love me, just as much as I love you. I just feel like we have different kinds of love."

I ran a hand through my hair. "Different?."

Paul had me so confused because he seemed confused himself. How could our love for each other be different? And why has he come to this conclusion now? It was almost like he was feeling insecure.

"Yeah." He swallowed. A thin line of perspiration lining his upper lip, his t-shirt clinging to his body, damp with sweat.

"Paul, our love is the same, always will be," I said.

"Just.. come closer," he said softly. His eyes melting into mine.

Stepping between his legs was the closest I could get, although I was quite embarrassed after everything that happened between us. He reached up, taking my face into his hands as my body trembled with his touch.

He leaned up towards me, his lips a mere centimeters away from mine. My breath caught in my throat, I was sweating with the anticipation.

Then he did it, he pressed his lips to mine in an urgent, desperate kiss.

My lips burned with the neediness of it. It was so sudden and so unlike Paul. I could truly tell exactly how he was feeling as he continued to forcefully kiss my lips, giving me no chance to respond whatsoever.

He felt alone, rejected and insecure- like I had guessed.

The pressure was burning yet intoxicating at the same time. His hands gripped my face harder, pulling me impossibly closer to him. The sweet taste of his lips had me feeling dizzy as he moved them against mine, in fast passionate strokes.

For a second he paused and I took that as my chance to kiss him back, to convey all my feelings to him. But he pulled away, gasping for air as his hands fell from my face.

"Are you-," I started. My mouth feeling all swollen and tingly.

"I'm sorry," he said, breathless. "I can't."

"You can't… kiss me?."

He shook his head. "It doesn't feel the same… it feels wrong, I need time."

I have felt rejected before, many times but this had to be the worst. My husband telling me that kissing me felt wrong tore me apart. I was speechless, hurt and shocked. Of all the things to do or say, It was this.

Was there any possible way to mend our relationship, to make things work for us again? If love didn't work, then what would work. Maybe it was just love that wasn't working, perhaps if I showed him how much I loved him things would go back to normal.

But how could showing him work?

"Paul," I said suddenly.

His eyes bore into mine. "Yeah?."

"It's okay."

He swallowed. "I'm really sorry… I want to.. kiss you but I just can't, I can't get into it."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing his head to my chest as he sat in the armchair. "It's okay, I understand but… promise me something."

"Anything," he replied.

"When you, the pack and the Cullen's go searching for those vampires, promise me that none of this that's going on between us will distract you."

"Of course, I promise." He leaned into my chest as his arms wrapped around my waist securely.

A small smile found its way onto my lips, at the feel of him relaxing against me.

This had to be good.

_**One Week Later**_

Tonight, we were all heading down to First Beach for a bonfire. Sam had come up with the idea due to all the stress we were all suffering from cooped up in our houses while the pack continued their search on Joel's gang.

At first Paul wasn't too keen on the idea, mainly because it was Noah the gang wanted. After a lot of persuasion from the pack, he finally gave in although he wasn't happy about it. There was a permanent frown on his face. Not to mention his body quivered every now and then.

With Noah in the baby seat at the back of the car, I watched Paul carefully from the corner of my eye. His whole demeanor screamed 'uncomfortable', with his jaw set, his nostrils flaring and his lips set into a straight line. I hated seeing him like this.. it sort of left me feeling uncertain about Noah's safety.

"Do you want to talk about it?," I asked him, reaching out to rest my hand on his thigh. He twitched beneath my touch, so I quickly retreated my hand.

Things still weren't the same between us, no matter how many talks we had.

"No," he replied, firmly. Eyes set on the road.

"Paul if you're stressing over those vampires at least talk to me about it, this isn't right."

"I'm not stressing over those filthy, dirty, leeches!," he shot back. Hands tightening on the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

I leaned back into the seat, taken aback. "Fine, I'll keep my mouth shut next time."

"I'm sick of talking, it's all we ever do and it doesn't solve _anything_."

"We won't talk then…" I trailed off in a hushed voice.

The rest of the ride was silent except for the sounds of our breathing. It didn't stop me from looking at Paul though, he still looked pretty worked up but apparently there was nothing I could do about that. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to touch me, he didn't want to do anything with me. I should probably just give up and let him work it out on his own.

Soon enough, we were pulling into the First Beach parking lot. There were plenty of cars there already, some of which I recognized. Was I looking forward to the bonfire though? No I wasn't considering I knew that a group of vampires were out for my son.

Once the engine was cut, I reached for the door handle but Paul grabbed my hand.

"Look, we can work this out," he told me.

I turned to look him dead in the eye. "No, _you_ can work this out. I give up."

His lips parted in shock before he regained composure. "I can't work this out without you."

"Wow, I thought you told me just a minute ago that talking _with me_ solves nothing."

"Exactly, so maybe we should just try something else… you know," he said softly. His cheeks turning pink.

I bit my lip. "So I think I know where you're going with this but at the same time I don't."

His cheeks were now a rosy shade. "We should… do stuff… together?."

"Paul last week you kissed me but then you stopped, you said it felt wrong."

He sighed. "I know but I… I just want you to want me Fay."

"I always want you."

"No, it's not the same. That day when we kissed, you felt uncomfortable and before that, you never wanted me." he looked out the window then, making sure there was no one around before he turned to me again. "Fay, when was the last time we made love?."

The question caught me off guard and I struggled to find the answer to it. Had it really been that long?

"I… don't know," I told him. My cheeks burning with embarrassment.

He cupped my cheek in his hand, inching his face closer to mine. "Exactly a month today."

"Oh god… I'm so sorry Paul, things were kind of heavy then."

His breath fanned my face, making me feel dizzy. "I understand, so when we get home later, we'll fulfill our needs… I'll show you how much you mean to me, how we're perfect for each other and you'll show me."

I smiled shyly. "O-Okay."

For a second, our lips touched. It felt like the world had stopped spinning and that we were the only people that existed. My body felt all warm inside, drops of sweat surfacing on my forehead. The car was humid. The windows were fogging up.

"Later," he whispered huskily, his warm lips lingering over mine before he pulled away.

I admired him for holding back because at that moment there was no way I would've been able to. The words _I want you, I want you, I want you_ spun like a rollercoaster in my head, my whole being wanted him to take me now.

What made things worse was that he looked dangerous tonight, a sexy dangerous, which was a turn on for me, a huge turn on. Yeah, I admit to pushing my feelings aside for the past month, knowing how he felt about me.

But tonight, after what he'd just said to me, changed things- a lot. The way his hair had grown longer, falling into his eyes every so often, black and shiny. His body- like I had previously noticed- had indeed grown somewhat stronger, I yearned to touch it, to be pressed against it. Like I said, it changed things a lot, made me admit to myself how much I so badly wanted him.

Oh how so incredibly hot he looked tonight in a white t-shirt that clung to him in all the right places and those fitted jeans, showing off how curvy his ass really was-

"Are you just going to sit there for the rest of the night?," Paul said, an amused smile on his face. Pulling me out of my hmm… thoughts.

I looked up at him as he stood outside, holding my door open with one hand while the other held Noah to his chest.

"I'm coming alright," I smiled before scrambling out of the car.

Suddenly looking forward to the rest of the night.

* * *

It was around eleven when we finally got home, Noah was fast asleep and I was more than a little cold having spent three hours in the chilly night air.

When we arrived at the bonfire, everyone had been there except for Jared and Kim. Kim was my friend- no actually she was my best friend, having said that, I knew for sure that she of all people wouldn't miss out on a bonfire. So I found it more than a little odd she hadn't been there.

It was halfway through the night that I remembered she had something to talk to me about but me being me, put it off for a very long time. Apparently whatever she was going through, was worse than I thought. And she wasn't even pregnant.

I'd have to call her tomorrow morning, no excuses.

"Hey," I said. Leaning against the bathroom doorframe as Paul shaved.

"What's up?," he asked. Though it came out weirdly as he was in the process of shaving his chin.

I sighed. "Do you know what's going on between Jared and Kim? I mean I know he's your friend, you don't have to-."

"I don't, I've been asking him for a while now but he won't tell me," he replied. Splashing water onto his face.

"You can't even see it in your weird wolfish way?."

He chuckled. "Nope, he's doing a good job at hiding it. Even Sam's impressed."

"That sucks," I mumbled. Feeling like a bad friend to Kim.

"Aw honey, what's got you all upset? They'll work it out." Paul wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.

A hug. Finally!

"I've let myself down, what kind of friend am I? Kim told me she wanted to talk but now look! I didn't even give her a second thought! Ugh."

I felt his lips press against the top of my head, he smelt so good. "I'm sure Kim understands, don't worry about it. You haven't let yourself down at all."

Gosh I loved him so freaking much.

"Thanks." I smiled. Relaxing against him.

Paul's hands slid down my sides then. I tensed, wondering what his next move was until, his fingers dug into my sides, tickling me like crazy.

I squealed, trying so hard to reach for his wrists and stop him but he was too fast and I was all over the place. Why he insisted on tickling me every now and then was a mystery to me, he knew I hated it.

"Stop!" I screamed/squealed. "Please!."

"Only if you manage to stop me." he laughed. His fingers continuously tickling me.

"Ah! Stop!," I screamed once again before I finally got away from him, running as fast as I could down the hall and into our bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

Paul pushed the door open a second later as I hid under the blankets of our bed, he laughed so hard when he saw me that I almost laughed with him, _almost_- until I remembered he was doing something that I hated being done to me.

"You're so adorable when you do that," he said. Stalking closer to the bed.

"I'm begging you, please don't."

He licked his lips. "I don't know… that was a lot of fun."

"Paul," I whined.

Crawling into the bed from the opposite side, he scooted over to me until his head rested against my shoulder. "Ok I won't."

"Promise?."

With a chuckle he replied. "I promise."

My cheeks burned with thoughts of what would come next. I felt like a virgin again, anticipating my first time. The only difference was that now, I was pretty much experienced.

"Fay?," Paul said suddenly, sitting up in the bed next to me.

I kicked the blankets away and looked up at him. "Yeah?."

His lips started to tremble. "I… I…"

I sat up, sitting directly in front of him on the soft mattress. "Paul." I took both his shaky hands in mine. "What is it?."

He gulped. "I… I just…I feel weird."

"How?," I asked softly.

His hands slipped out of mine and took hold of my waist. "It feels like I've only just met you."

Well I feel like a virgin again… "Is that good?."

"Y-Yes, of course. It just feels like this because things have been so complicated between us but now it's like nothing is standing in our way."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Yeah it does feel like that."

"Oh god I love you so fucking much Fay, so much." With that he pulled me flush against him, pressing his lips to mine.

"I love." Gasp. "You too."

We melted into each other, kissing each other senseless. Our hands all over the place, touching, stroking, pulling each other impossibly closer. The room already felt warm, and the feel of our clothes on us felt wrong.

My whole body felt weak as he sucked my lower lip into his mouth, a low moan escaping me, urging him on. This was what I wanted, I wanted him, badly. I'd never ever refuse him again, it seemed impossible.

He broke the kiss for a moment, pulling his t-shirt over his head before smashing his lips back onto mine. The kiss was open mouthed and wet. His hot breath blowing into my mouth, making that special part of me throb.

Normal people truly had no idea what they were missing out on. No matter how in love they were or how good their sex lives are, nothing could compare to being imprinted on. Nothing.

Tonight made me see things for what they really were. There had been so much I took for granted before, that after Paul made it clear that we could work this out, it was like every single thing I missed about him came to the surface of my mind. Making me appreciate every following moment between us one hundred times more.

His tongue plunged into my mouth, caressing mine as I savored his taste. His heavenly taste. My hands found their way down his body over his erect nipples, his rock hard abs and the trail of hair that lead me to his treasure.

On the other hand, he was busy undoing the buttons of my shirt. His mouth still working wonders on mine. I helped him out by pulling it off and undoing my bra, better now than never.

Our lips parted for a second as he pushed me down onto my back, my eyes raking over his body, the growing bulge in his jeans catching my attention, making the throb down there harder. Oh how badly I needed him. _How badly he needed me…_

"I missed you babe," he breathed. Unbuttoning his jeans.

"I missed you too," I replied breathlessly as he slid down his jeans, his erection now standing at full attention.

Then his hands were on me, pulling down my jeans along with my panties before tossing them across the room, his eyes landing on my southern area. "You're so wet." He stated. Caressing my thighs before planting kisses on them. So close…

"Aren't I always?," I grinned down at him.

His lust filled eyes looked up into mine. "Yeah. It just feels like our first time."

"I know, gosh I want you so bad it hurts," I groaned.

He crawled up my body, his erection pressed against my thigh. "I feel the same baby, I've got it so fucking bad."

Slipping my fingers into his hair, I pulled him down to me until our mouths moved together in slow passionate strokes, our bodies shivering against each other at how bad our need for one another was.

I moaned into his mouth as his hand worked my breast, twisting and pinching at my hard nipple while his other hand rested just above my head, holding his weight off me. Every now and then, he'd shift his weight from one hand to the other, giving both my breasts attention. While my hands ran up and down his muscular, sweaty back.

_I loved him so fucking much._

"You're so sexy," I whispered against his lips.

He thrust himself against my thigh. "I need you... I'm so close."

No less than a minute later and he was hovering on top of me, our hands laced together above my head, my legs wrapped around his waist as he pressed his tip inside my dripping wetness. Our breaths hitched, anticipating the next part.

His dark eyes, the ones I loved and adored, stared deep into mine as I stared up into his. "This is just one of the things I love about being yours," he told me, his breathing heavy.

I leaned up, causing him to slip further into me, a gasp both escaping us as I pressed my lips to his in a quick but sensual kiss. "Making love to you can't compare to anything Paul, nothing."

He pushed himself deeper inside of me. "This is how we're meant to be," he gasped out.

"Don't ever stop," I sighed before throwing my head back in pleasure as he thrust himself fully into me, my head falling back against the mattress.

And then he was thrusting into me, hard and quick as I bucked my hips, taking him in as deep as I could. Our moans, groans and grunts filled the room as we moved together in synchronizing pleasure. I could practically smell our passion in the room.

His hands were sweaty as they pressed mine into the mattress the harder the thrusts got. He'd capture my lips in his for a moment before we'd both pull away, gasping. It was all too much for us.

"Paul!.." I moaned as one of his hands left mine.

He was breathless, face buried into the crook of my neck as he thrust into me, so much harder.. so much faster. His hand reaching down between us, rubbing me there…

Then it hit me, the overwhelming building up of pleasure. "I'm gonna-." I gasped. "Come."

"Oh," he groaned. "Oh me too."

My feet slid along his firm ass, pushing him deeper inside of me as he started to throb. He was wonderful, this was wonderful, everything was wonderful. I never wanted it to end, it was too good. Incredible.

Then we were kissing, tongues battling each other for dominance as I started to come. My hips rose in a painfully slow way, taking in every inch of him possible before I moaned the loudest moan I had ever heard myself moan. And then he came, spilling his seed into me, our juices mixing together before he collapsed on top of me.

Our hearts racing against each other. Sweat dripping off our bodies as we both gasped for air.

"Fay," he sighed. Running his hand down my thigh.

My eyes were closed, I felt so weak… so exhausted. "I'm on a permanent high," I whispered.

I felt his lips press against my neck. Kissing me.. licking me.. sucking me…

He was still buried deep inside of me, making us one. The feeling was amazing, always was, it was what made me feel complete. He'd have to pull out soon though, or we'd be in bed forever. We so badly needed a holiday.

"I could fall asleep inside of you right-," he murmured against my neck but was cut off by the sound of a window shattering down the hall.

Like the speed of light, Paul was up and out of the room while I quickly grabbed my nightgown and ran out after him. My blood turning cold.

Noah…

But Noah was fine. Sound asleep in his crib, nothing looked out of place nor was his window smashed. I picked him up anyway, holding him securely against me as I headed down the hall, into the bedroom Paul and I used to sleep in.

"It's that fucking half- leech, I know it!," Paul hissed as I entered. Both windows shattered, glass covering the floor.

My body started to shake. "You have to call Sam, the Cullen's, everyone."

He looked out the window. "No, I'm going to get him myself."

"Paul!," I gasped.

"I'm going to tear him to pieces! How dare he!."

"You can't, you won't stand a chance, you need all the help you can get."

Walking over to stand directly in front of me, he held my eyes. "Noah is our responsibility, no one else's and as his father, I am going to get rid of those dirty bloodsuckers. I don't need anyone's help."

Holding Noah against me with one arm, I reached out with the other and placed my cold hand against Paul's cheek. "Please get help, please. I'm going to be worried sick about you."

"You're freezing," he stated.

"That doesn't matter right now, just get some help," I begged.

He leaned into my touch. "For just this once, have faith in me. I need it."

"No I can't Paul, I'm sorry but I can't, not when you're alone out there."

Leaning in he kissed me one, twice, three times. "I'll be back."

"No," I said in disbelief as he kissed the top of Noah's head. "You're not leaving like this."

"It has to be done."

I grabbed his arm. "Don't do this, you're making a mistake."

"This is not a mistake Fay!," he insisted.

"Paul! Just… I love you, don't leave us, please."

His eyes started to water, glistening in the dark. "I love you both. This is me saving you not leaving you."

"Don't," I said. My voice cracking.

But it made no difference. He was out of the room before I blinked.

I tried running after him, calling after him, pleading with him to get some help but he wouldn't listen. He just left.

Risking his life all over again…


	12. Trust

**A/N: Thank you for reviewing, reading, adding to favorites and alerting. I really hope you like this chapter, something I never considered happening in this story happened.**

**For those of you who read Helpless When He Smiles, are you interested in an update? :)**

**Chapter 12: Trust**

Trying to keep myself under control was almost impossible. Almost.

A feeling, deep down inside of me was threatening to explode. It was hard, trying to keep calm, trying to clear my mind but I had to do it for my own sanity and for Noah. Noah wasn't brought into this world to be left feeling insecure, no he was he brought here to be loved and protected. And at moments like these, he needed me, no matter how young he was.

He also needed the pack along with their families. This was who he was, a child who had a father that could morph into a gigantic wolf. Not every child had a father who could do that, so it was important for him in the future to mix with children with the same genes. Like Sam and Emily's baby boy.

They were all family, by blood or not. And I fully intended to make sure that Noah spends a lot of time with them starting from now. It would be good for him- help him connect to everyone while he's still a baby. It'd make things easier in the future.

Noah lay on the bed, looking as adorable as ever in a bright white baby grow and white socks-which were the cutest contrast against his copper skin tone- while he sucked on his thumb. His eyes wide, staring up at the ceiling.

I smiled at him as I threw on a pair of denim shorts and a grey sweater.

My smile quickly faded once I heard Sam call my name from downstairs.

"Fay! You upstairs?," he called frantically.

When Paul left, five minutes ago, the first person I called was Sam. He was my cousin, Alpha of the pack and the only person I trusted in- besides Paul- at the moment. I knew he'd keep his wits about him and listen to me carefully. I'd always be thankful for that.

"Yeah!," I called back. Noah already in my arms again, his tiny head resting against my chest.

Sam was in the bedroom instantly. "You guys alright?." I nodded in response. "Alright, I'm going to take you both over to my place, it'll be safer there."

"They're out there right? The pack? They're out there?."

"Yes Fay, they're all out there, I'm sure they're in contact with Paul," he reassured me.

"He'll be alright won't he? He won't get hurt… like last time?," I asked. My whole body shaking with panic.

It was like seeing Sam brought all these feelings out in me, my weaknesses. Maybe it was because he was related to me… and he was strong.

"Listen to me." he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Paul is a man now, a year really makes a difference. Trust me I know, I can see inside his head, he's matured. A lot. So don't you worry, things will be fine."

"I'm just scared," I whispered. Glancing down at Noah.

"I know you are, look… we should really get going, we'll talk during the ride."

Taking certain bits and pieces I needed for Noah like bottles, diapers- you get the picture. We were out of the house in no time. Sam seemed distressed which wasn't what I was expecting from him but I decided not to ask any questions. Perhaps I was better off not knowing.

Due to my own distress, worry and nerves, I decided to sit in the backseat with Noah. It felt safer somehow, although I knew I was just being paranoid. If one of those vampires really wanted to snatch Noah away from me, they'd have the car door off its hinges in less than a second no matter where I was sitting.

"Fay calm down, you're overreacting," Sam told me as he pulled out of the driveway.

I started stroking Noah's feather-like black hair. "I can't help it Sam, Emily would be the same, you know that."

He sighed. "It doesn't mean I like it."

"It doesn't mean we can stop it," I replied.

"True."

"Sam?."

"Yeah?."

"What… what do you think of Paul? What's it like being in his head?." I felt I needed to ask him that question. It was one thing I've always wondered. What was it really like being in Paul's head? I wanted to know what he thought of, what his ideas were.

Sam chuckled. "His mind… is a mess."

"Really?."

"Yep. It was worse before, believe me."

"What does he think of?," I asked.

"Well 95% of his thoughts revolve around you and Noah but there's that 5% that's all over the place. There's so many things going on in there like football, work, vampires. Then he'll throw a cheeky remark out to someone and annoy them with some childish thought. You get my point."

I rolled my eyes with a giggle. "So what was it like before?."

He shook his head while taking a left turn. "Unbearable. He was so angry it drove the pack insane. And you know how now he'll sometimes throw out a cheeky remark? Well that took up 60% of his brain. He was an ass, no offense but he was."

"When did that change?." I guessed the answer but I was being nosy.

"The first day he laid eyes on you." Sam glanced at me through the rearview mirror, giving me a little smile. "He was always thinking of you, 99.9% of his thoughts were just you, the 1% was him thinking of ways to fight off the imprint like the ass he was, it had to be the most retarded thing he's ever tried to do. But then it changed, he spoke to you, he loved you more every time until he gave in and now, he has that 5% room in his head to use to make decisions, to be a proper husband and father. Today he made the decision to take down those vampires on his own. We'll see whether that was a good or bad one."

Sam pulled up outside his and Emily's, it looked so pretty from the outside in the daylight considering most of the time I visit is late at night. It brought back memories of last year, when I first arrived. I never knew what was in store for me.

"Hey Sam, you didn't answer my first question."

He reached for the door handle. "Paul's a good guy. He loves you and he's got a good heart. In the beginning I didn't like him being close to you, since he's the most volatile of us all but he's changed a lot. So yeah, he's a good guy."

I smiled. "Thank you."

He looked over his shoulder at me, giving me a smile in return. "Don't mention it."

* * *

Emily had pulled me into a hug the instant I walked into the kitchen to find her pulling freshly baked blueberry muffins out of the oven.

Wish I could cook like her…

She then ushered me to the table, practically pushing me into a wooden chair and ordered me to eat two of her muffins while she took Noah from me, fussing over him as usual. It always brought a smile to my face.

"You're not going to eat that are you?," she asked after ten minutes as I nibbled on the first muffin.

I looked over at her. "Sorry, I'm just so afraid Emily."

She nodded in understanding. "I used to think it was so hard being married to Sam, him being Alpha of the pack, having all that responsibility on his shoulders but now I look at you, and I know being married to Sam isn't as hard as being married to Paul. He's always so sure of himself that he never bothers thinking things through."

"But it's not hard really," I told her. "It's definitely nerve wracking sometimes but hard no, I love being with him, living with him, talking to him, I love his personality as crazy as he may be sometimes. That doesn't mean you feel less for Sam, it's just… we've all got different kinds of love."

The end of my sentence reminded me of what Paul had said to me a week ago. I smiled in spite of what he meant by it. My smile quickly faded when I thought of where he was now. He was out there somewhere, lord knows what's happening.

I groaned, resting my cheek against the wooden surface of the table.

"Oh Fay, I know it's hard, but everything will be okay, I know it will," Emily assured me as I heard Noah start to sniffle.

"Why is he putting himself out there like that? Alone? he could get himself killed."

Noah started crying then.

Emily tried to calm my baby boy down but his cries just got louder and louder until she finally ended up having to hand him over to me. "He wants his mommy."

"Oh Noah, are you hungry?," I asked him softly although I knew he didn't understand a word I was saying.

Ten minutes later and he was half asleep, still sucking his bottle. "Aw he's so cute," Emily cooed. Sitting next to me on a stool.

"He's the exact opposite of Paul," I replied with a grin on my face.

"Hmm you never know, maybe Paul was a good baby?."

I shrugged. "Maybe."

Just then a knock sounded on the front door causing both Emily and I to jump. We both stared at each other a moment, afraid of who it might be until a look of realization crossed her face.

She smiled. "It's Kim."

"Kim? It's like one in the morning!."

With a chuckle, she replied. "She texted me just before you arrived saying she'd be over, obviously Jared spends a lot of time over in her room." she winked at me. "I don't know how her parents allow her out after midnight though."

Kim. I dreaded seeing her, after not being in contact with her for a while, knowing that she was going through something. I wanted to see her under the right circumstances, like tomorrow morning at my place, not now while I was an emotional wreck.

I guess I don't always get what I want do I? that's life isn't it? I just hope Paul makes it out okay. After last time, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him again.

"Fay? Oh my god like finally!," Kim squealed. Running over to me and giving me hug. "Where the heck have you been?."

My jaw dropped. Whoa! I was _not_ expecting that kind of greeting… at all.

"Kim I'm so sorry," I said full heartedly as she pulled back to place a kiss on Noah's cheek. "I feel like such a bitch."

She frowned, taking a seat on the other side of me. "What are you talking about?."

"About me not calling you or visiting you… you told me you were going through something but I was so selfish-."

"Stop! You're not a bitch or selfish or any of those things, you were going through stuff as well. Am I a bitch for not going to see you? Am I selfish for not knowing that things were horrible for you? Okay maybe I was…"

"Kim!."

She chuckled. "Point is, you're not either of them, I understand. Things have been shitty for the both of us lately."

I held a now sleeping Noah to me as I reached out to take Kim's hand in mine. "Thanks."

She gave my hand a squeeze in return. "Shut up! that's what friends are for."

Emily entered the kitchen then. "You girls up for some popcorn?."

"Hell yeah!."

I rolled my eyes at Kim. "No thanks Em."

Kim clasped a hand over her mouth. "Paul… oh Fay, everything's going to be alright. I promise."

"I hope so," I said weakly. Biting my lip.

Emily came to stand next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "He'll be fine, just try not to think about it too much."

"Trust me Em, it's not that easy," Kim told her.

"Sorry…" Emily trailed off. Was I missing something?

I raised an eyebrow at Kim. "What's going on?."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. It was then that I noticed how tired and miserable she looked, which was very unusual for her of all people.

"I'll give you guys a minute," Emily said. Leaving us alone in the kitchen.

Then Kim burst into tears, shocking me.

"Kim?," I asked carefully.

"I can't do it, I just can't," she sobbed.

"Do what? Tell me Kimmy, I'm here for you."

She wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands although the tears still spilled. "M-My dad got a job t-transfer… it's only f-for a year but I-I can't do it, I can't g-go."

I frowned. "Where's he transferring to?."

"Germany," she replied before throwing her head in her hands, crying.

Speechless and shocked at the same time, I didn't know what do or say to her, Germany was far away. It was in Europe for crying out loud! Not even in the states. If I was her, I wouldn't know how I'd cope. There was no way I could go.

"Kim you can't go," I told her, honestly.

She dropped her hands from her face, staring at me. "But my parents won't let me."

"Why?," I asked. "You're eighteen now."

"Because they're not sure…"

"About what?."

Her lips trembled. "We mightn't come back."

I waved it off. "That's impossible Kim and you know that. There's no way you could stay away for _years_, you'd end up coming back anyway so what's the point in going? Don't any of your relations live nearby?."

"It's not that easy Fay, how is Jared supposed to come up to me when I'm sharing a room with a cousin of mine or something? It just doesn't work that way."

After a year of being best friends with Kim, I came to the realization that she was still just a kid inside. I loved her, she was like the sister I never had but sometimes it was hard to get through to her, she saw things in a different way to most people our age.

"It's better than not seeing him at all."

She let out a deep breath. "I need to get a job or something, rent out a place, it's my only option."

By the looks of things, Kim's parents were definitely not the _easy_ _going_ type.

"Strict parents eh?."

"Yup."

Leaning back into my chair, all the while holding Noah securely to me, I asked her about Jared. "What does Jared think of all of this?."

She clenched her fists. "He's angry, pissed off, a total bitch."

"What!." Jared being a bitch? Impossible.

"Yeah, surprise surprise. He begged me to stay but I couldn't give him an answer so now he just won't talk to me, and oh his plans for ways to keep me staying here are ridiculous. Like he first suggested we get married then he suggested we run away then he thought that we should have a baby. Like what the hell? And he was dead serious."

"Well he's bound to think up random things like that, the whole pack do it," I giggled.

Kim stared down at Noah, her eyes taking on a dreamy look. "Maybe the baby thing wasn't such a bad idea."

"Hah! No," I said seriously, causing her to look up at me. "Trust me, babies come after marriage not before. Don't get me wrong, Noah is my whole life, I wouldn't ever want to turn back time and decide not to have him but remember Kimmy that at the time, I only wanted to get pregnant because-."

"Paul was fighting the newborns and you were afraid he'd get killed or something, yeah I know. Noah's just so adorable."

My heart swelled with love for Noah. "Yeah, I feel so bad for not being there for him."

"But everything's good now right?."

"Um yeah I hope so…" I trailed off. An hour ago, Paul and I were making sweet love but did that mean that all was forgiven and forgotten? Perhaps he's still hurting…

"Fay there's no way things won't be okay for you, at least you're married. I on the other hand might be leaving in," she gulped. "Two months."

My jaw dropped. "Two months!."

She nodded. "Jared said goodbye to me last week."

Sometimes I wondered whether Jared was still a kid inside too..

All this information was too much for me to handle. Firstly, Paul was out in the woods somewhere. Secondly, Kim was supposedly leaving in two months and thirdly, Jared was treating her badly. Very badly.

"God Kim… I don't know what to say."

"It's cool, I didn't know what to say to him either, he just appeared in my room last week, told me goodbye and left," she said sadly. "Anyway, I'm gonna pass out any minute so goodnight Fay, I'm sure Emily won't mind me sleeping on the couch."

"What about the popcorn?," I asked with a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

She licked her lips. "Yummy but for real, I'm shattered!."

I giggled, standing up to give her a hug before she left the kitchen. "Night Kim, see you tomorrow."

Kim didn't deserve the stress her parents were causing her and Jared wasn't helping either. Maybe with some luck she'd find a way to stay and if there weren't any options, I'd give her one: She could stay with me and Paul until she sorted something out. It was the best I could do.

A minute later, Emily reappeared. "Fay, the spare room is yours for tonight. I put some clean sheets on the bed and there's a crib in there I've never used so I'm sure that'll do for the time being."

I thanked Emily before I made my way upstairs into the spare room, which was of course the room I had stayed in last year when I first moved here. I shut the door behind me and stared at the bed, remembering the times I'd cried into my pillow because Paul had been so mean to me.

It was funny what a difference a year could make. Instead of crying over how mean he was to me, I'd be crying over his safety.

With a sad smile, I walked over to the crib and placed Noah in it, tucking him in as he continued to sleep peacefully. He had the cutest most angelic face I had ever seen, just looking at it brought tears to my eyes.

"I love you so much Noah, so much," I whispered before switching off the bedroom light and heading over to the bed that was once mine, slipping in quietly.

I never fell asleep.

* * *

At around four in the morning, the sudden sound of growls in the backyard had me up out of the bed like a shot. Peering through the window, both Sam and Paul were circling each other in their wolf form as the rest of the pack stayed back, watching.

Next thing I knew, they were tumbling around the grass, snapping at each other's throats. It was obvious that Sam had the upper hand as he bit Paul in the side, taking him by surprise. Then it all stopped and Paul was left whimpering, rolling from side to side in pain.

As much as I was relieved that Paul was alright, my blood was boiling. It disgusted me how the pack could just throw each other around instead of acting like 'brothers', isn't that what they refer to themselves as?

Taking a quick look at Noah to find that he was still asleep, I slipped out of the room and ran into Emily.

"Paul's okay," she informed me.

"Yeah he would be if Sam hadn't taken a chunk out of his side," I retorted.

She sighed. "Maybe you should go down there."

Without saying anything further, I pushed past her and ran down the stairs, out into the backyard. They were all phased back into their human form, making their way towards the house. Some of them still buttoning up their cut off's.

Embry clapped me against the shoulder as he passed me. "Sorry about that Fay."

My eyes scanned the place, looking for Paul. He was nowhere to be seen.

"He's sulking behind a tree back there," Seth told me with a roll of his eyes. "Good luck."

I quickly made my way towards the woods, wondering which tree Seth had been talking about.

"Fay!," Sam called before taking hold of my arm as I neared a tree.

"What," I hissed. Still angry that he bit Paul.

"Get back inside, he's not stable at the moment," he said firmly.

I turned to face him. "In case you haven't noticed, I've been living with Paul for the past year. He _won't_ lose control around me."

His grip tightened on my arm. "He hasn't faced a bunch of vampires in a while, just let him calm down."

"I can calm him down, just let me go!." I tried pulling my arm away from him but he continued to hold onto me. "Sam!."

"Get inside before you do something stupid."

"Just let me go!," I yelled.

"Trust me Fay!."

I looked him dead in the eye. "I don't trust anyone but Paul."

He clenched his jaw as he released my arm. "I know what I'm talking about. Look at." He paused, looking pained. "Emily. Look at what I did to her when I wasn't stable."

For a second I felt sorry for him but it disappeared as quickly as it came. I hated when he implied that Paul would do the same to me if I got too close under the wrong circumstances. "Paul is different. He would never ever do that to me, now I'm going to him and _don't_ try to stop me."

"You're making a mistake!," he shouted as I headed into the tree line.

It was dark but my eyes quickly adjusted to it as I spotted Paul sitting with his back against a tree trunk. His body was vibrating, sometimes it got so bad that all I saw was a blur but it didn't stop me from going over to him.

Crouching down next to his naked body, I pressed my palm to his sweaty cheek. His eyes met mine before he squeezed them shut, groaning as he continued to shake violently. Blood dripping from the bite Sam had given him on his side.

"Paul, it's okay, just calm down," I said softly as I stroked his cheek.

He took a deep breath. "I c-could have k-killed them."

I hushed him. "Don't let them do this to you, relax."

"I was so close," he whispered as he blurred for a second, my hand falling to his shoulder with the vibrations.

I've never seen him so destroyed.

"Paul please calm down, we can talk if you calm down," I pleaded. Rubbing his burning shoulder.

He gritted his teeth together. "I can't."

With a sigh, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my face to his chest. "Noah and I need you to relax."

"No," he hissed. "You both need me to rid of those filthy leeches!."

I placed a kiss on his chest. "Not now."

"I nearly had him Fay."

"Paul!." I lifted my head up off his chest and held his face in my hands, staring deep into his eyes. "Forget about them now, control yourself, I need you."

His bottom lip trembled. "It's gone too far."

"No it hasn't! you always control yourself around me, can't you do it tonight?."

"No," he swallowed. Sweat rolling down his forehead. "Those vampires, after what they did to you, when I saw them, I was… I was a monster."

"You're not a monster," I whispered.

He shook his head, his vibrations never subsiding. "It was the first time I ever felt like one and now I can't control myself. I need time."

"But you can, just believe in yourself."

"Fay, I can't!," he hissed. "Just go back inside… I'll come to you when I'm ready."

I flinched at his hard tone. "You can… a-alright, I'll go."

My hands held onto his face for a minute longer as I stared into his eyes but for some reason he squeezed them shut again, his body vibrating all over the place. I was completely confused as to why he was losing it.

I stood up then, staring down at him. My body shivering.

"Go!," he choked out as he threw his head back, whining in agony.

But my whole body froze as I stared at my husband in shock. He was in so much pain, the heat from his body multiplying by the minute. This was how the pack described the first time they phased to be like. So I couldn't wrap my head around why his body was reacting to vampires in such an awful way.

The vibrations were so strong now that he fell to his side on the mucky ground. I wanted to comfort him but I knew that'd be the wrong thing to do. Standing here was the wrong thing to do yet I couldn't walk away.

My heart was breaking for him, I was hurting, the need to cry out was strong. I could literally feel his pain.

"Paul," I squeaked.

"Le-ave," he said back but his word was broken. The vibrations so strong now that he was just a blur.

I felt the need to hold him. "Paul please calm down."

I should've ran, I should've listened to him because next thing I knew, he phased right next to me, turning into the gigantic grey wolf he was and when my mind finally started to work properly, I turned on my heel and-

I cried out in excruciating pain as I felt his claw sink into my leg, ripping through the flesh, slashing the skin all the way down to my ankle. Blood, warm and thick gushing out of the wound. Making me nauseous.

"Fay!," Sam shouted.

But I could barely hear him, my cries drowning out the sound as I fell to the ground. The throbbing in my leg unbearable, the cool air washing over the raw wound causing it to sting. My whole body trembling as tears continuously fell from my eyes.

"Jacob! Jared! Get him out of here!," Sam ordered as I heard whimpering from the wolf- Paul- behind me.

Suddenly, I was being lifted off the ground. "You're going to be okay Fay," someone that sounded like Seth said to me.

"P-Pau…," I sobbed in response. The shock of it all causing my head to spin.

My crying never died down as I buried my face into his chest, yearning for some sort of comfort as the burning in my leg never subsided.

Even after being thrown around like a ragdoll a week ago by those vampires, this was by far the worst pain I'd ever been in. I'd need stitches and there was definitely going to be a scar. And the part that hurt the most was that it was Paul who'd done this to me.

I should've listened to Sam.


	13. Foundations

**Chapter 13: Foundations**

There had been a lot of tears, a lot of pain and a lot of worry during the past week. The Pack had been under stress after everything that happened. From Paul taking off by himself to kill a group of vampires to my lower leg being mauled by him in wolf form. Everyone had been in shock when it happened, even Sam—much to my surprise.

They had been nothing but good to me; cleaning my wound, calling Dr. Carlisle over, insisting I stay for at least five days (at Sam and Emily's) so they could look after me. I felt so at home with them, that I mentally scolded myself for not visiting that often.

Sadly though, Paul hadn't showed up.

And it wasn't because certain vampires attacked him or that he couldn't be found like last year. No, this time he proved us all wrong. He had in fact tore those 'bloodsuckers'— as he would call them— to shreds. It seemed impossible, no one could believe it but Sam knew, having patrolled the area and getting glimpses of Paul's thoughts.

Sam had said that Paul was shielding his thoughts and memories from the pack. That he was wallowing in his own misery over what he had done to me, his imprint. Normally, after doing such a horrible thing, the wolf would immediately phase back to his human form and make sure his mate was okay. Apologize and beg for forgiveness. But Paul had done it differently.

We all wondered what exactly he was thinking, and why he hadn't come to see me after five long days. I could give him one thing— he was brilliant at keeping his thoughts to himself. Yet, I still wondered why he'd stayed out in the woods somewhere for that long.

He had no idea how proud I was of him, killing those vampires all by himself.

On the sixth day, Emily and Sam allowed me to go home. Although it was hard walking on the leg that had a bandage wrapped all around the bottom of it, including my ankle, I felt the need to just go home and think. Think about everything Paul and I had gone through for the past two months.

So I thought and thought and thought. And our relationship to an outsider would look like it was hanging on threads, so close to falling down. It even looked like that to me, because everything that we had been through was my fault and my fault alone.

Everything could've been avoided if I hadn't got the job in the first place. Then there was also times where I could've told Paul that I bumped into this vampire and I would've just stayed at home with Noah as the pack patrolled, seeking out the vicious group .

In all honesty, the group was ridiculous. They were obviously a bunch of new vampires— past the newborn phase— and they thought it'd be 'awesome' to kidnap a shape shifter's child and brainwash it into thinking that _they_ were the good guys when what they were trying to do was impossible, sick and ridiculous.

And I was lucky I survived them.

On the seventh day, just past midnight, I was missing Paul more than ever. There was a craving in my body, just to be connected with him in any way possible. The tugging in my heart wasn't helping either, it had been giving me a constant headache for the past week.

I wondered if he felt it too?

Feeling hopeless and miserable without him, I tucked Noah into his crib as he slept soundlessly and headed downstairs, into the back yard.

The stars were burning high up in the night sky, a half moon giving off enough light for me to see in the dark. I sat down in the middle of the yard, the grass damp beneath me but I didn't care, I only cared about Paul coming back to me in that moment.

"Paul?," I called into the darkness. The forest too far away for me to see it at this hour.

Nothing.

With a sigh, I continued. "I miss you, you have no idea, the world is an empty place without you around, it's really _really_ awful. But I understand if you need time and I hope that somehow you can hear me because I want to apologize for every single thing I've put you through lately. You didn't deserve any of it, you trusted me completely and I let you down… I let myself down too. All you've ever been was honest with me, yet I just had to keep hiding things from you. What kind of person am I?.

"Isn't the whole imprinting thing about me being your soul mate? Me being your perfect match? Me being the best woman to carry on the legacy to the tribe? Well, I feel like I've failed you in every way. Don't get me wrong, Noah is everything to me but." I paused, my throat tightening as tears welled up in my eyes. "I broke your heart, and yet you had no other choice but to stay with me because of this pull we have. And I'm so so sorry that you have to stick with a person like me, I'm nothing like Emily or Kim even, their relationships with Sam and Jared are almost perfect.

"And our relationship was so close to perfect until now and it's my fault. I'm not looking for sympathy here Paul, I don't deserve any, this is the truth but I want to let you know that you'll always be my everything, always. I just… I think you deserve better."

A sudden rush of relief washed through my body, after saying all that. He probably couldn't hear me, for all I knew he could be in Canada now but I just needed to get that all out. I needed the truth out there, and there was so much more I wanted to say but I wanted it to be in person.

I wanted to mend our relationship.

* * *

The next morning, I was complete mess. Having had no sleep for over forty-eight hours, the bags under my eyes were impossible to cover up and I constantly found myself nodding off. But I'd force my eyes open, knowing that I'd only be asleep for an hour before I'd wake up again.

Maybe Paul couldn't sleep either…

Emily called me twice a day, once in the morning and once at night, just to make sure I was doing okay. Different members of the pack would turn up at my hall door with groceries and muffins Emily had sent over. They had in fact commented on my state but didn't push the subject.

I, on the other hand, spent most of my time in the kitchen, just scrubbing away at nothing. It was my way of trying to take my mind off Paul, it didn't work though, not really. The only thing that would take my mind off him for a while was Noah. However he was new to the world and spent most of his time sleeping.

So as usual, I was in the kitchen once again during midday, washing cups and glasses that hadn't been touched for a while. Halfway through my cleaning, a strange sensation filled me, causing the hairs to stand up on the back of my neck. My heart started thumping harder and oddly enough, the headache that I had started to think would be permanent disappeared.

"I must be going crazy," I mumbled, washing the suds off of a wine glass. The sudden sound of movement causing it to fall from my hands, shattering into a million pieces in the sink as I spun around on my heel, my back pressed against the counter.

There he stood by the entrance of the kitchen, his appearance catching me so off guard that I gasped out loud with shock. A hand clasping over my mouth as I scanned him with wide eyes from head to toe.

His face looked older somehow, thinner and more defined. Yet, it was his eyes that had changed the most. There was this wiser look to them, as though he had been through every single situation possible but the sorrow in them was heartbreaking. The deep dark circles beneath them, the sadness the dark depths conveyed. They stared deeply into mine, and I suddenly felt vulnerable to him, like he could see everything I was thinking just by eye contact.

And, his body had thinned out too. I never thought it possible for a person to lose so much weight in a week but this was proof, then again he wasn't fully human. Dirt and blood clung to all areas of his body, some parts badly bruised. The jean cut off's he wore were noticeably a size too big for him, hanging low on his hips, barely staying on.

His beautiful black hair had grown out even more, creating this disheveled look to him, but I couldn't stop searching his eyes. They weren't the eyes I looked into last week before he left, they were so much different.

He looked animalistic in a way. Lethal.

"P-P-Paul?," I whispered. Lowering my hand from my mouth slowly.

I noticed his eyes drift down to my leg, the leg he mauled. For the past few days I had taken to wearing summer dresses with cardigans over them, as it was hard trying to slip on bottoms when one little tip against my wound had it burning painfully.

After a moment, his eyes drifted back up to mine again. Lips parting as if to say something but then he shut them again, deciding against it.

Taking a shaky breath, I said softly. "Say something, please."

"Are you afraid of me?," he asked suddenly. A change his voice also apparent. It sounded huskier, deeper… older.

"No," I said honestly. Watching him carefully.

He shut his eyes for a moment before opening them again, staring right into mine. Yet, he didn't say anything, just stood there watching me fidget under his gaze. It was awkward to say the least and the air was heavy.

So in hopes of lightening the mood, I said. "You're probably hungry, I'll fix you up something."

I headed over to the fridge as quick as I could, pulling it open and grabbing a plate of Emily's blueberry muffins. But when I shut the silver door and turned back around, I was suddenly being pressed up against it as Paul shoved the plate out of my hand, causing it to fall onto the tiled floor with an ear piercing smashing sound.

His burning hands were wrapped around my shoulders, holding me in place as he dipped his head, eyelevel with me now. "I'm. Not. Hungry," he growled.

My blood grew cold at the tone of his voice. "Okay…"

"You're afraid now aren't you?."

"Paul-."

He leaned in closer to me, our foreheads touching. "I'm a monster to you now aren't I?."

"Wh-."

"After I hurt you, you see me differently don't you-."

"Stop!," I yelled. Shoving at his chest. "Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it! You're driving me nuts!."

Dropping his hands from my shoulders, his fingers lingering on my wrists, a look of confusion flashed through his eyes. "It's the truth isn't it?."

"No, Paul, it's not. Now." I reached up, pressing a hand against his shoulder in an attempt to shove him away. "I'm going to get you something to drink-."

Reaching up quicker than humanly possible, he grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with mine and pressed it up against the fridge, over my head. "I'm not hungry, or thirsty, or anything! Ugh." He moaned, pressing his face into the crook of my neck. "God damn it Fay!."

The hand that lingered against my wrist was suddenly around my waist, holding me tightly against him as he breathed heavily against my tender skin. It was all so abrupt that I remained still, unsure of how to respond. There was no way to tell whether he was angry or not.

Carefully, I brought up my free hand and ever so gently, ran my fingers through his hair. Surprisingly, his head fell to my shoulder. "What's wrong?."

"I…" he trailed off as I felt something cold, slide down my chest.

"Paul?," I whispered. My hands still working their way through his hair. "Paul, are you okay?."

He shook his head against me, more cold droplets running down my chest, one after the other. The hand that had mine pinned to the fridge, fell to his side and after a deep intake of breath, he fell to his knees in front of me, his arm still wrapped around my waist.

His deep brown eyes stared up into mine, glistening with tears. That beautiful, plump mouth of his drawn down at the sides with sorrow as he fought hard to speak to me while he was so close to crying. "I should be the one… asking you if you're okay." he gulped. "You have no idea what I've been through."

Catching me off guard, he pressed his face into my tummy as he started crying. After a minute, it erupted into heart wrenching sobs, soaking my dress with endless amounts of tears within seconds. Both his arms now wrapped around my waist, holding me closer than ever as his heart hammered against me. His sorrow, literally rubbing off of me.

I found myself crying too.

It was the first time I'd seen Paul so devastated, so broken. There had been so many occasions where he'd break down but this was by far the worst state he had ever been in and it tore me apart, seeing him that way. The work of the imprint had me feeling his pain too.

"It's all over now, you don't have to worry about anything anymore," I told him soothingly through tears.

"I… hurt… you," he choked out.

I held his head against me. "It was an accident."

He didn't say anything for a while after that, just held onto me as he continued to sob his heart out.

Standing there, I wished there was something I could do to make him feel better but sadly there wasn't, not everything had a cure. Not even when mythical creatures like vampires and werewolves existed.

"I didn't know what I was doing," he squeaked. "I swear, I would never hurt you intentionally."

"Paul I..."

I stopped speaking when he raised himself back up to his full height, taking my face in his large hands. "I'm so so _so_ sorry Fay, I'm so sorry, so so sorry, I'll never forgive myself."

"Honey no… It was my fault anyway," I replied. Staring up at his flushed face, swollen with all the crying he had been doing.

A tear escaped the corner of his bloodshot eye. "It wasn't Fay."

"I was standing too close, I'm sorry."

Leaning in, he pressed his lips to my tear streaked cheek. "Standing too close isn't wrong," he murmured.

"Paul," I sighed at the feel of his lips against my skin. "It was wrong _then_."

His hands fell to my neck, rubbing his thumbs over the sensitive skin as he started to kiss my whole face. "Everything's wrong Fay."

My eyes sought his. "What do you mean?."

"We'll discuss it later," he said. Pressing one last kiss to my forehead before pulling back, still teary eyed.

"Later?."

He sniffled. "Yeah… I need to take a shower and I really need to see my little baby. So… just wait a while okay?."

I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

With that, he gave me a sad smile before walking away. Leaving me alone once again, in the kitchen. There were no words to describe how happy and relieved I was to have him back home with me but I couldn't hold back the tears that fell from my eyes from the hurt. The hurt of him not kissing my lips.

He would always kiss my lips, and even after being away for so long, he hadn't today. I thought that when we made love last week, our relationship was almost back to normal. Apparently something had gone wrong again, except this time around, I didn't know what it was.

Yet.

* * *

"Fay! Ola! Where have you been loca?," Jacob called out to me, happily as ever.

There was a bonfire on First Beach tonight, especially for Seth's imprint. She hadn't heard the stories much to everyone's surprise. It turned out Seth was afraid to tell her the legends were real and so a year into their relationship, he decided now was the right time. You've got to feel sorry for the kid sometimes.

"Hopping around my house for the past week," I said. Giving him a smirk as I sat down on the log next to him.

He scrunched up his nose. "Don't remind me."

"Couldn't have been as bad as some of the things _you've_ seen."

"Oh so you're saying _I've_ seen some pretty horrendous stuff and no one else has?," he questioned. Raising a skeptical eyebrow at me.

"Yup, pup."

A series of laughter erupted from across the fire in Embry and Quil's direction. They were pointing over at Jacob and making puppy dog eyes at him.

"Hey pup, wanna play catch?," Embry joked.

"Or how about we buy you a collar eh? Show you off to all our friends!."

Jacob snorted. "The only friend you've got is that dumbass next you."

"Boys! Keep it down, Billy and Quil Jr have arrived," Sam ordered. Taking his place next to Emily, as they leaned against a log, sinking into the sand.

They always looked so in love to me, so devoted to each other, that I found myself wishing Paul and I had that. We were so close to having it, but… I made a mistake which damaged our relationship. If only I could turn back time.

"Hey Jake?."

"Yeah?." He smiled.

"How are Jared and Kim getting on?."

"Bleh! Jared's been moping around for weeks over Kim, but just like Seth." He rolled his eyes. "He's too pussy to make up with her, jeez! They don't know how easy they've got it."

I leaned in. "What do you mean?."

He sighed. "I mean _I_ haven't even found my imprint. Yet _they_ were lucky enough to and they screw everything up and make mountains out of molehills. It's ridiculous if you ask me."

Touching his shoulder, I whispered. "So you've.. changed your mind? You do want to imprint."

"Yeah." He ran a hand through his hair. "I've thought about it a lot and I guess I just realized how much better life would be if I found her. I'd be anything for her and I wouldn't be a coward like two people I know, if anything came between us I'd make sure I got rid of it."

I gave him a smile. "Well if anyone deserves to imprint, it's you. You need it more than us all and you've got the right attitude. I hope you find her Jake."

"Fay?," he said slowly. His eyes narrowing. "Is everything okay… between you and Paul?."

Was I really that easy to read?

I shrugged. "The answer lies with him."

"So he came back to you this afternoon, you know.. after his _emo stage_. And didn't make up with you?."

"It's not like that Jake, it's complicated."

He coughed. "Sure."

My head shot to the side, sensing Jacob's discomfort, to find Paul sitting himself down next to Jared on a log across from us while he cradled Noah to his chest. He looked as attractive as ever, in a fitted button down black shirt and dark jeans. However, Jared and him seemed so engrossed in their conversation that I turned to look at Jacob again.

"So…"

Jerking his head in the direction of the elders, he said. "They're starting." Even though we both heard the stories over a hundred times. It was his way of putting an end to the awkwardness that surrounded us. I loved him for that.

Throughout the storytelling, I avoided eye contact with Paul and instead watched the loving couples around me as they shared loving gazes and touched each other affectionately every now and then. Funnily enough, it brought me back to my first few weeks here.

The memory that stood out the most was the night I was invited to a bonfire while Paul's eyes burned into mine the whole night long as we sat across from each other around the fire. He had a girl with him and I didn't like that. At the time I was so confused as to why a guy who treated me like crap brought out feelings in me I never knew existed.

That was before our relationship even started.

A poking at my arm brought me out of my trance. "Woah!."

Jacob chuckled. "Party's over."

"Sorry, did I miss anything?."

"Oh well, except for the part where Seth stripped naked in front of everyone and phased, nah not much."

I laughed. "Seth is definitely a risk taker like that isn't he?."

"Yeah… not."

"Excuse me?."

"Oh hi Seth," Jacob said brightly as we both rose to our feet. "We were just talking about how brave you are, weren't we Fay?."

"Of course! Heard you phased in front of everyone."

Seth rolled his eyes. "What have you been smoking Jake?."

"Definitely not the same thing you're smoking."

A series of smart comments were thrown back and forth between the two boys as I stood there, laughing at the childishness of it. They made me feel like an average teenager without a worry in the world again— the girl I was before I came to La Push.

Even though I didn't miss being her, there would always be a part of me that enjoyed her freedom. How whenever she wanted, she could leave the house and wander the town with friends. How she didn't have to worry about paying bills. How she didn't have to wake up during the night to feed a baby. How she thought that mythical creatures were only stories. How she didn't have to worry about her husband getting attacked— those were the things I missed at times.

Yet I wouldn't change my life for anything.

"So you smoke Seth?."

We all turned to face Paul, who had a cheeky grin on his face.

"No I don't, but I do remember you smoking once at a get together two years ago," Seth retorted.

His cheeks turned a shade darker, our eyes meeting briefly. "I was an idiot then."

Jacob laughed. "And you still are." Sending me a sly wink.

I shook my head at him, stifling a giggle.

"Well." A warm hand landed on my shoulder. "Call me an idiot all you want, but I'm going to have to steal this girl for a while."

"Adios!," Jacob said, sending me yet another wink.

Paul and I walked side by side away from everyone, including Noah who was being looked after by Jared much to my surprise. Confusion started setting in when we took off into the woods. Neither of us said anything though, an awkwardness surrounding us.

When we finally emerged into the open, we were on another part of the beach I hadn't ever seen before. It looked secluded, hardly any evidence of human life ever being there so I assumed he must've found it while patrolling.

A moment later, we were sitting against a rock, watching the sea glisten under the moonlight.

"The legends say that you can be anything your imprint wants you to be, most of us end up as lovers." Paul started. "I've seen it over the years from Sam and Emily to Jared and Kim. Then we've got Quil imprinting on little Claire, he's just like a brother to her and everything is the way it should be. Then we've got the likes of Jacob, Embry and the rest of the pack who haven't imprinted yet, so they're waiting for that special moment to find them. But no one knows what their imprint will be to them."

"And?."

"And most of us want a romantic relationship with our imprint as long as she's an appropriate age. Why? I suppose it's because we only _see_ her." He started running his fingers through the sand between us. "All we want to do is protect her, care for her, make her happy, _love_ her."

"I know that Paul," I said carefully. Watching him stare out at the sea, his profile stunning.

"But what nobody seems to know, including you, is that us Quileute Shape-shifters are selfish. We want to be adored, protected, cared for, loved even though it's us who should be making our imprints happy. We should be happy enough to see _her_ healthy and happy, of course it doesn't work like that. We want more. We want everything we give our imprints returned. And that Fay." He shifted, angling his body towards mine as he stared into my eyes deeply. "Is what's wrong."

As we stared into each other's eyes, I wondered what he was getting at with everything he just said. Yes, I understood him completely, he was very thorough, very clear but I seemed to be missing the point.

So I asked. "What are you implying?."

"I'm implying that lovers was what we were but now, after everything you and I have been through, us being lovers is wrong. We shouldn't be lovers, where's the foundations to our relationship? They're gone. And so we need to build the foundations again, but this time we'll do it smoothly. We'll start over."

"Start over?," I gulped.

"Yes. We'll start over… as friends."

I stared at him wide eyed. "You want us to be friends? Just friends?."

He nodded. "That'll help us get over everything. Look at you and the guys, you're all friends and you seemed to be enjoying yourself a lot tonight."

"But Paul." I leaned over, pressing my hand to his cheek. "I enjoy being around you more."

"Yeah, you enjoying _being_ _around_ me, being around someone isn't enough."

"I don't mean it like that-."

"Shush." He pressed a finger to my lips before I backed away from him, leaning back against the rock. "I know what you mean."

"Then why be friends huh? We can get through our past if we work on it together."

"Fay," he said softly. "Sexual intimacy isn't going to fix things."

"That's not what I meant," I said faintly. Too shocked to speak.

He gave me a small smile. "Well if that wasn't _one_ of the things you meant, then I don't see the problem with us being friends."

This was the most unexpected thing I've ever thought Paul would come out with. There weren't any words to explain how I felt, I was too shocked to come up with anything. I just couldn't understand how he wanted us to be friends after everything we've shared.

I scrambled up to my feet, brushing sand off of my jeans. "So are you taking the spare room?."

Following suit, he stood up to his full gigantic height. "No. I'm sleeping next to you not _with you._"

"This is ridiculous Paul."

"It's not. I know it's going to work. It'll take a while but it will work."

He started walking towards the tree line, me trailing behind. "Then tell me Paul, what's going to change in our everyday lives huh?."

Pausing, he took a deep breath before looking over his shoulder at me, his dark eyes burning into mine. Making this 'friend thing' that much harder as I kept my lust for him at bay.

"Everything."

* * *

_**A/N: Right. So I guess there's only two more chapters left, the next being the last and the fifteenth being the Epilogue. Anything you'd like to see happen? I'll definitely reply to your ideas/suggestions and discuss them if you want.**_

_**Your reviews keep this story going so thank you all for making me smile with your kind words and keeping this story alive.**_


	14. For Better or For Worse

**A/N: It took me so long to write this because I had all these different ideas in my head and I didn't know which to one to use. However I finally wrote it, the very last chapter (There WILL be an epilogue) to The Truth I Hide.**

**I really hope you guys enjoy it. Thank you all so much for sticking with me after all this time, you've all been amazing.**

**Shout-out to gabycaldemeraz**—** You've been such an inspiration to me.**

**Chapter 14: For Better or For Worse**

Warm hands shook me gently as I whined into my pillow. My heart was hammering in my chest and I felt cold, so very cold. Images of Noah being taken away from me plagued my mind. I could still see those blood red eyes staring at me, daring me to fight for my baby. Knowing that I was just a weak fragile human, not standing a chance against a vampire clan.

"Fay, it was only dream, wake up," a voice I recognized as Paul's said softly to me.

I bit my lip before rolling onto my back. He was crouched next to me at the side of the bed, a white t-shirt thrown hastily on, his hair a disheveled mess. This was the fifth night in a month that I'd woke him up from my reoccurring nightmares.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. Feeling slightly embarrassed.

He smiled weakly. "Don't worry about it, it's not your fault."

"They just won't go away, maybe I need to get out more…"

Crossing his arms over his chest, he snorted. "Right. Like you haven't been summer shopping for the past week."

"Don't even get me started."

"It's really that hard to find a proper bathing suit?," he asked with a chuckle.

"No, it's hard to find a proper _gift_ for a certain someone."

"May I ask who that someone is?."

"You silly!," I said. Poking him in the shoulder playfully.

Three months ago when Paul suggested that him and I start over as friends, I had been completely outraged. Never in a million years had I thought that we'd actually be able to do it but much to my surprise we _did_.

The first month had been the hardest. I had been ignoring him, and he'd been ignoring me. We were acting like kids to say the least but neither of us would budge. All I could think of was that it was his fault, that he had been the one to make the stupid suggestion and that he should be the one to apologize for even bringing it up.

However we did end up talking again after about six weeks. Yes, six long weeks without any sort of contact from him had been painful. Yet, when we made up it was like it had never happened. We just went back to… almost normal.

By almost normal, I mean talking to each other, eating with each other, watching TV with each other and basically just doing simple things together. But what we didn't go back to do doing was: cuddling on the sofa; embracing each other every now and again; kissing every chance we got; sleeping together and all those things couples do.

Why you ask? Because we were now just friends.

It was hard for me to control myself around him whenever he was around. I'd find myself yearning for his warm hugs, sweet kisses, loving cuddles. He'd look sort of awkward at times, like he was holding himself back from me and I knew he was finding it hard to cope with too.

One thing that made it very obvious to me that he was finding the whole 'friends' thing difficult was when he made the decision to sleep in our old bedroom alone. It hurt me at first but I'd learnt to accept it.

And by now, after a couple of months, I managed to stop thinking of Paul romantically most of the time. Though sometimes I wondered why we were even doing this at all, it was crazy. But after all the secrecy and hurt that had been involved in our relationship, I suppose this wasn't so bad.

After all, we'd learnt to trust one another again and there were absolutely no secrets between us.

"Fay, you know you don't have to get me anything for our anniversary."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't start."

"Seriously, clothes will probably be shredded during phasing, I hardly ever wear watches or any kind of jewelry, shoes will also be torn apart, so that leaves.. nothing really. Get my point?."

"Give me your left hand Paul," I said. Reaching over to him.

He frowned in confusion before placing his hand in mine. "I'm confused?."

"You said you don't wear jewelry but you're still wearing your wedding ring." I smiled.

A blush crept into his cheeks. "You know I'll never take it off Fay."

"Yeah…"

"You should get some sleep," he said quickly. Changing the subject. "It's only four in the morning."

With a nod, I rolled onto my side. "Goodnight Paul."

"Goodnight," he said before leaving the room.

Him and I both knew that there was no way I was going to get any sleep. This wasn't the first time I'd had a nightmare and all those previous times I had, I couldn't get back to sleep. So I ended up downstairs watching TV.

There was one night that I had fallen asleep again but it wasn't long before I woke up, crying into my pillow because I'd had another nightmare. Although the nightmares didn't always involve Paul, I knew he was the reason I was having them. My body grew accustomed to having him laying next to me, offering me that loving, comforting feeling but as soon as we became 'friends' and he slept in the spare bedroom, the nightmares started.

Would sleeping together make that much of a difference?

"Paul?," I whispered. Stepping into our old bedroom.

"Yeah?," he replied. Switching on the lamp next to the bed.

For a moment I just stood there, taking in the wonderful sight of him as he sat back against the headboard, in all his shirtless glory. The white sheet pulled up over his waist a perfect contrast to his dark skin.

"I need to ask you something," I said. Closing the door behind me before making my way over to his side of the bed.

"What is it?," he asked as I stared down at him.

"Look I know how everything is working between us but there's just this one small favor I need to ask of you… if you don't like the idea it's fine, I wouldn't even be asking you if my nightmares weren't almost every night but I was wondering if you'd let me… if you'd let me sleep next to you."

I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly, his eyes burning into mine. "What if it doesn't help?."

My face reddened with mortification. "I'm sorry I even asked, it was stupid of me. Forget it, goodnight."

Paul's scorching hand grabbed my wrist. "No, I didn't mean it like that Fay."

This was so awkward. "It's fine, I was just being stupid, forget it."

"Fay!," he hissed. Causing me to stare wide eyed at him. "Don't walk away like that."

Staring down at my feet, I bit my lip. "I'm just sick of the nightmares Paul."

He tugged on my wrist. "Come on, I'll make room for you."

"It's okay," I squeaked.

"Look at me honey." So I did, unable to resist the way he called me _honey_, it had been so long. "Sleep with me tonight."

My heartbeat accelerated. "Paul-."

His brown eyes melted into mine. "I want to sleep with you too."

Once those words left his mouth, my whole body turned to jell-o by the way he said them. There was something about him that was undeniably sexy, even when he wasn't trying to be. And it didn't help thinking of him like that when we were under the 'just friends' status.

Without saying a single word—I wasn't too sure whether I was capable of speaking— I slid into bed next to him as he scooted over to the other side.

As I settled into his spot, resting my cheek against his pillow, I reached over to switch the lamp off before pulling the sheet over my body. I was facing away from him, not sure if he'd want me lying in his bed while I also watched him. Everything was just so awkward.

"So.. goodnight I guess," he whispered behind me.

"Goodnight Paul."

**Paul P.O.V**

So I watched my angel fall asleep next to me for the first time in months. She was nervous, I could tell. The way she constantly blushed, the rise in her temperature as she slipped into the bed next to me, how her body shook without her even noticing. It was adorable and sad at the same time.

Maybe I could wrap my arms around her and hold her close? She would be completely oblivious to it in her sleeping state. But I thought better of it, my Fay didn't deserve to be touched deliberately without any awareness. It'd be selfish of me.

With a frustrated sigh, I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling in the darkness. The smell of her, the sound of her heartbeat, the murmuring she did in her sleep all had me fighting a mental battle against myself. Giving in VS resisting the temptation to give in to my needs.

I missed her so terribly much, she had no idea. Yeah, it wasn't like we weren't talking, we were and it was great. Our relationship (or should I say _friendship_) was stronger than ever. Gone were the days we kept secrets from each other and refused to negotiate things together. And I was proud that my idea had worked, but I couldn't help but yearn for her love, her touch, her kisses.

I'd sometimes find myself sneaking up on her while she hung out the laundry, or when she was cooking us dinner and I'd be so close to wrapping my arms around her petit body, attacking her neck with open-mouthed kisses— then I'd stop myself, remembering things weren't like that between us anymore.

It was particularly hard to act normal around her family when we visited them last month.

They'd been so happy that we finally decided to hop on a plane and see them, that her whole family (grandmothers, cousins, aunts and uncles) threw us a mini-party the day we arrived. Yep, it was pretty overwhelming for a guy like me who hardly ever mixes with 'humans' anymore. Yet, they made us feel very welcome which was more than I could've asked for.

For show, we'd hug, hold hands, whisper into each other's ears, making it look like we were a devoted couple. And yeah, we were completely devoted to each other, we just weren't a couple. Hardly anyone noticed, they were all too occupied with Noah to care which didn't bother me at all.

Although I did notice her dad giving us funny looks…

We didn't sleep together though, I took the floor while she took the bed. The pack couldn't believe that we'd gone that far when I'd told them, and Sam wasn't particularly happy about it. He thought that my idea had some sense to it but it was ridiculous, especially for a wolf and his imprint.

Sam was always right though, wasn't he?

But a part of me was terrified of putting an end to our 'friendly' relationship status. After all the good that my idea had brought us, I was afraid of moving forward. Afraid that something else would pop up into Fay's life and ruin everything between us again.

Yes, I trusted her completely but I couldn't predict the future.

'Sam' — I thought as I phased.

It was early, only nine in the morning but I couldn't take sharing a bed with Fay any longer. So here I was, out in the middle of the woods near Second Beach.

'You're up early' — he noted.

'Yeah…'

'I'm sensing distress'

Images of Fay laying next to me flashed to the front of mind, followed by thoughts of what I'd wanted to do to her. Her skin, her mouth, her—

'Paul enough!' — Sam thought back in disgust.

Oh right, Fay's his cousin after all. 'Sorry'

'I really do think it's ridiculous though, it's been going on for a few months Paul and I think now is the time to put an end to it'

'Not yet, I'm not ready'

'To hell with you! What about Fay huh?'

'Sam' I whined mentally 'Fay's doing okay'

'Right…'

'She really is'

'Sure…'

'Sam!'

'Just put an end to it soon, she doesn't deserve any of it'

'This is _none_ of your business Sam! Just because you can read my mind doesn't mean you had the right to know'

'I never said it was Paul but we can all see the effect it has on you both. The hunger in both of your eyes and the hurt you inflict on each other by purposely avoiding physical contact. Sometimes even verbal'

'I'd never avoid conversation with Fay'

An image flashed to the front of Sam's mind, it was one of me looking away from Fay as she opened her mouth to say something. We were in Sam and Emily's kitchen.

'Maybe I was afraid of what I'd say to her then'

'Like what? I love you Fay, let's pretend this never happened? Sounds scary'

'Enough!' I barked 'There are things I want to say to her that you will never ever know about! Life isn't as easy as you make it out to be'

'You're right' — he thought. His sorrow rubbing off of me.

Shit. Emily.

'I'm sorry, I completely forgot'

'Look Paul, what I did to Emily was unforgivable but guess what? she's still with me. She never left, even though I was nothing but a monster to her then. So I make sure that I treat her exactly the way she should be treated, as my beloved wife. And you should be treating Fay like that, after all, she accepted you for who you are. Yeah, you've been through a rough time but at the end of the day she's the only one you'll ever want, right?'

'Of course she is!'

'Then let her know, because friendship isn't what she wants from you and it certainly isn't what you want either. So give her what she wants, she deserves it'

And just like that, Sam phased back to his human self.

Everything he said was true, I should be treating Fay the way she deserves. Especially with our one year anniversary coming up on July 21st.

Problem was, I wasn't the romantic type so ideas on how to surprise her on our special day just weren't popping up in my head. But I could see her in my mind's eye, a red knee-length dress clinging to her body in all the right places. Her tanned skin glowing under a dimly lit room, my gaze drifting down to her perfectly toned leg.

The perfect leg I scarred.

That night there wasn't an ounce of humanity in me, I was all wolf. An animal.

Those filthy leeches had ruined everything in the first place. They played the nice guys to Fay, knowing all along that she'd fall for their lies. Their scent drew humans in, you could see it with Bella and Edward. Not to mention most of them were ancient, it absolutely disgusted me.

They had their hooks so deep in Fay that she actually started hiding things from me, her husband. And when they kidnapped her and beat her, she could've died. But they wouldn't have cared, she was just a fragile human to them. Nothing more.

And to think that all of this was done because they wanted to take Noah from us… they were messing with the wrong people.

So that night, there were four of them waiting for me deep in the woods. They were fast, one of them faster than any bloodsucker I've ever come across and I knew when I looked into his golden eyes that he was the one who started everything. He was the one I leapt for first.

Everything passed by like a blur as I finally became the wolf I've always wanted to be. From the moment I phased, I've always felt so proud to be a part of the pack. It meant having control, protecting our people, tearing filthy leeches to shreds. Yet, I always knew who I was when I became the wolf. I was Paul Scott, a shape-shifter with feelings. But as I bit into the granite skin of that dirty vampire, I'd lost myself.

I didn't know who I was, all I knew was that I was an animal seeking revenge.

It didn't take me long to dismember him, considering the others didn't seem as tough as they portrayed themselves to be. They stood around us, watching with wide eyes as I finished him. Then I turned to them and they disappeared out of my sight, like scared little boys.

That's when the pack phased in, reminding me of who I was. That's when Sam ordered me back to his back yard. That's when I was furious with everyone for ruining my chances of destroying those leeches.

That's when I phased too close to my imprint, scarring her for life.

"Hey Paul," Leah greeted as I strolled over to her on Second Beach.

"What's up?," I asked. Plopping down on the sand next to her.

She sighed. "Kim's leaving."

My jaw dropped. "Please tell me you're kidding."

"Wish I could. She's leaving tonight, you and Fay should head over to Sam and Emily's around eight, she'll be saying her goodbyes."

"So she's just leaving for Europe with her parents? What about Jared?."

"Yeah she's leaving Jared behind, I've gotta say, the girl's got guts."

Jared and Kim still haven't been talking. Last week Jared and I had a long talk about the situation, turns out Kim hadn't got any other choice but to leave with her parents, yet she promised him she'd find a way out of it.

He was basically just an empty shell of himself, thoughts of her leaving and never coming back took over his mind. Sleep was definitely something he was lacking in, the dark circles under his eyes grew worse with each day.

The fact that they weren't talking wasn't doing either of them any good but Jared had a soft heart. He did it because he knew that words wouldn't make their way out of his mouth if they tried to talk, sobs would.

Normally the pack would tease him for that but under the circumstances we all kept our mouths shut.

Just shows that the imprint isn't always magical.

"Jared's going to be destroyed Leah, it's gonna be hell for him."

"Kim's already destroyed Paul, you guys haven't seen her."

"And you have?," I asked. Raising an eyebrow at her.

She nodded, her long hair blowing into her face. "I visited her last night, I felt… sorry for her."

Three months hadn't only made a difference to Fay and I's life, it had made a difference to a lot of people lives including Leah. She was taking online courses, rekindled her friendship with a girl she was formally best friends with and went out on weekends, her life partially back to normal.

Which meant she had lost the nastiness she was well known for.

She had also grown her hair out, just like Jacob and I had. Yeah, we were way more furrier than normal but that was the least of our problems. Besides there weren't any leeches around so patrolling wasn't a twenty-four hour thing anymore.

"How did it go?."

"Badly."

"Do I want to know?."

"No," she told me. Lifting herself up off the sand. "Girl-talk is called girl-talk for a reason. So I'll see you and Fay at eight."

"Will Jared be there?." I looked up at her as she shrugged in response.

"Who knows, see ya."

Tonight was _not_ going to go down well.

**

* * *

**

**Later That Day**— **Fay P.O.V**

My eyes stayed glued to the floor as I sat on Sam and Emily's couch. The room was silent except for the hushed voices I could hear from down the hall. Probably the pack keeping themselves quiet incase Jared decided to show up.

Earlier today, I was in the middle of eating a fried egg for breakfast when Paul walked in looking sullen, never a good sign. It didn't take him long to inform me that Kim was leaving tonight and would be saying her goodbyes later on.

The news had taken me completely off guard that I suddenly didn't feel like eating.

Kim and I hadn't been talking at all lately, she was always so depressed that she ignored my calls and texts. I'd gone up to see her twice but her mother would send me home, giving me some lame excuse I was supposed to believe.

So obviously Kim was certainly not in a good way because on a normal day, she'd come flying down the staircase and drag me up to her room excitedly, gushing about Jared.

Oh how life was changing.

"Fay, honey, you coming outside? Kim will be here soon."

I looked up at Paul as he strode into the room, kneeling down in front of me. "I'll be out in a minute, I just need to make sure I'm ready."

His warm hands came up to rest on my jean-clad thighs. "Kim's not leaving forever, we're hoping it'll just be for a couple of months."

"More like a year Paul, don't kid yourselves and don't be giving Jared false hope, it's unfair," I told him. Blinking back tears.

"Don't be so negative, life isn't all bad."

"This is one of the bad parts…"

"Aw Fay." He squeezed my thighs affectionately. "This time tomorrow it'll be over and done with, you won't feel so bad."

"Paul this is Kim we're talking about! Kimmy, my best friend, the one that was always there for me. Your best friend's imprint. I have feelings for her, she's like a sister to me."

"Well she's like a sister to me too but I'm not gonna go around giving off bad vibes, she doesn't need that," he defended.

"She's not going on vacation Paul."

"I know! Sheesh." He dropped his hands to his sides as he raised himself up to his full height. "I was just trying to help, but obviously I suck at that."

"Paul," I sighed. Reaching for his hand as I looked up into his handsome face. "I'm just not handling it well, but thanks for being my friend."

He held onto my hand for a moment before letting it go. "I was always your friend."

"You were a lot of things Paul."

"Why is that in the past tense?," he asked carefully.

I pushed myself up off the sofa to face him. "Because people change."

Turning around to pick up Noah's baby seat which he lay in off the couch, Paul grasped my shoulder. "For the better you mean."

"It depends on how you look at it," I said over my shoulder.

"Explain." His free hand now grasped my other shoulder, his burning chest pressing against my back as he breathed against my ear. "Explain to me what you mean by that."

"Kim will be here any minute so I suggest you head on out," I told him. Trying to sound in control, yet my legs had turned to jell-o with the feel of him against me.

"Fay don't try to change the subject."

"Paul!," I hissed. "Let go of me!."

His grip on my shoulders loosened. "Tell me you-"

"Fay, Paul, Kim's here," Leah announced, poking her head into the leaving room behind us.

"We're coming," I said. Shrugging out of Paul's grasp as I picked Noah up out of his baby seat.

The tension was heavy in the air, I could practically feel Paul behind me, his body temperature going up a notch. A minute ago, his breath against my ear had been warm, almost thrilling, but I had to keep in mind that we were just friends. That's what he wanted right?

Not to mention that I was welling up with the fact that Kim was out the front, saying her goodbyes. I pitied her and Jared so much. They didn't deserve this.

Paul and I didn't say another word to each other, we didn't need to. It was all there in our eyes, we could see right through each other whether we liked it or not. He knew what I'd meant earlier, it was obvious by the look on his face as I brushed past him with Noah in my arms.

Maybe he disliked the fact that after three months, friendship wasn't enough for me. What would make him think otherwise in the first place? Imprints weren't made for friendship, they were made for so much more.

Try explaining that to Paul.

"… we're going to miss you so much," Seth was saying as I walked out onto the porch, Kim in his arms.

It was the first time I had seen the pack all gathered together with their imprints in a long time. They stood around Kim with sad eyes, some of them looked like they were about to pass out with the shock of her actually leaving.

Emily had silent tears running down her cheeks as Sam wrapped an arm around her waist while she held their baby boy against her chest. Embry, Quil and Jacob stood together looking a little paler than usual. Colin and Brady sat on the porch steps, talking to each other in hushed voices. Leah stood next to Sue Clearwater, Old Quil and Billy Black as they watched Kim hug Seth back.

Kim looked completely different now; her hair had been cut into a bob, she'd lost at least a stone in weight, the permanent smile she'd always worn was now a grimace, the beautiful brown eyes she had were no longer bright but dull.

This wasn't the Kimmy I knew, it was a miserable Kim Connweller who'd had all the good in her life taken away from her.

"Fay," she croaked as she came to stand in front of me. Her eyes bloodshot with the tears she fought to hold in.

Seth being the sweet boy he is, took Noah from me so I could hug Kim.

"I'm going to miss you so much!," I gasped out. Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her into a hug. A hug that I hoped she'd remember, as I sobbed into her shoulder uncontrollably.

She in turn, let herself go and joined my sobs with her own. The sound of her crying broke my heart, she sounded so empty, so alone. There was nothing she could do about leaving tonight, neither her or Jared had enough money to rent a house. It was so unfair.

"I l-l-love you F-Fay," she stuttered out. "Y-Y-You're the sister I-I never had."

"I l-love you t-too," I told her in between sobs.

We knew we'd have to let go of each other though, she didn't have all night and her parents were probably waiting for her at home. So with one last squeeze, she gave me a weak smile before moving in to give Paul—who was standing next to me— a hug.

Much to my surprise and everyone else's, Jared emerged from the woods across the road. The darkness shielded his face from us, though I could tell that he wore nothing but cut offs. Making no move to come anywhere near us, he remained in the middle of the deserted road, watching his beloved say her goodbyes.

"Kim, I think someone wants to say goodbye," Paul told her as they ended their hug.

She turned on her heel, her gaze immediately landing on Jared. "Ja…"

Before anyone knew what was happening, Kim ran like the speed of light into Jared's waiting arms. They held onto each other so tightly, so lovingly, their hands grasping every inch of each other they could find as they whispered words of love to each other.

It was kind of like watching a romantic reunion in a blockbuster movie; how she cried into his neck while he tried his best to keep himself together and instead offered her the sympathy she so desperately needed.

Love was one of the strongest emotions people felt, it was the complete opposite to hate. Yet only we knew how it felt to be imprinted on, how it bound you to the one person you were made for, how without them you were nothing. It was like love times a million.

How Jared and Kim were going to handle being away from each other was beyond me.

Kim pressed her lips to Jared's cheek for a second before slowly pulling away from him. She knew it was time to leave, time to say her very final goodbye to her soul mate and start life anew— without him.

His body shook with the heartbreak he felt as he realized that this was it, this was the moment he'd been dreading for all this time. Shivers ran up his spine as his imprint stood in front of him, her head bowed in dread. He knew that he couldn't make her feel better at a point like this, they'd reached a dead end.

So he fell to his knees in front of her, staring up at her wounded expression as the tears she cried fell onto his cheeks. His strong, shaky arms reached out and wound themselves around her waist as he pressed his forehead to her chest. Seeking comfort before she left his life.

Her small hands ran through his soft hair as his cries grew louder and louder with each passing second.

None of the pack— including Emily and I— wanted to see this, it was far too intimate for us to watch. They needed privacy, so with solemn expressions on all of our faces we headed back inside the house. Giving them one last minute to be together, alone.

When Kim finally left, Jacob and Sam took a devastated, lifeless Jared into the dark woods.

His sobs haunted me for the rest of the night.

**

* * *

**

**Two Weeks Later**

"Remind me why we're going to Port Angeles again?."

At eleven this morning, Paul practically dragged me out of my bed— the night I slept with him was a one-off thing— and had me out of the house without any breakfast nor did I get the chance to choose suitable clothes in my grogginess.

Yeah, I was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans in the cold weather. Just great.

Weird, was what I thought when he explained to me in a very enthusiastic way that his parents were looking after Noah until we got back. To a stranger, Paul looked happy, maybe even excited but I could see right through him. His eyes told me he was terrified.

We were already in the car an hour when he finally answered my question. "I'm showing you a house."

"A house? Why?," I asked confusedly.

"I want your opinion on it," he replied. Clenching his jaw.

"But why would you want my opinion on a house?."

"Because your opinion is important to me," he said, matter-of-factly.

The side of my mouth turned up in a grin. "Is this a wicked plan of yours?."

"I wish."

"Okay…" I said. My grin disappearing immediately.

"I'll explain everything to you when we get there." He glanced over at me, forcing a smile. "I promise."

A half hour later and we were pulling up outside a small, white, fairly new looking house. It was situated in a quiet neighborhood, with similar looking houses all around. Comparing the area to La Push, you could see a huge difference.

Here, it was obvious the area was more populated, the architecture was completely different and there weren't any woods nearby that I could see. All in all it looked like a nice place but I wasn't going to study it, why should I have to? Paul wanted me to see the house, that's all.

"So isn't there supposed to be someone showing us around?," I asked carefully as he pulled out a set of keys from his jeans pocket.

"Yes, there should be but the owners trusted me so-." He paused unlocking the front door. "Ladies first."

Stepping into a narrow hall—not as narrow as ours— the faint smell of fresh paint drifted up my nostrils, giving me that feeling I used to get when my parents would paint my room a new color. It was a nice feeling.

Paul took my hand in his and proceeded to show me around the house. He filled me in on its history, weighed the pros and cons of living in it, explained to me that it was fully equipped and that the rent wouldn't cost much.

There were three bedrooms, two bathrooms (one downstairs), a kitchen and dining area, a living room and a garage. The backyard was what made the biggest impression on me though, it was so pretty. Even prettier than Emily and Sam's, now that was saying a lot. I particularly loved the three-tier fountain that had a stone like finish to it, the fact that there were wild flowers growing around it made it look that much more beautiful.

Yet I still couldn't figure out why I was there in the first place.

"So are you going to keep your promise and tell me why we're here?," I asked. Sitting down on the grass, watching the fountain.

Paul coughed, grabbing my attention before sitting down in front of me. "Of course, I just want your opinion on the uh house.. first."

"I like it, that's all I've got to say."

"And you love the garden?."

I smiled at that. "Yeah, I do."

"Do you prefer it to our home?," he asked seriously.

His question took caught me off guard. "No.. I don't know… our house is our house, it has memories. We've had a lot happen to us there, both good and bad. I'm not.. I don't… why? Why are you asking me this?."

"Because I need to know what you think of it here."

"But why? Tell me why you brought me here Paul."

Paul shifted nervously on the grass, his whole body shivering— not from the cold of course— as he bit down on his lower lip, avoiding my gaze. Terrified was what he looked to me, this both confused and worried me.

Tucking a stray hair behind his ear, his dark eyes met mine. "I got a job."

Two weeks ago, the day after Kim's departure, Paul was fired. He'd been ten minutes late but his boss wasn't having any of it, after all, it wasn't the first time he was late. But this had been the first time in a long while that he'd failed to make it to work on time.

What was his excuse? Well he told his boss that our car broke down but the real reason was because Sam refused to let Paul leave a meeting he was holding with the elders early. So to put it simply, it was Sam's fault.

Losing his job had been hard on me, it meant that Paul had to go searching La Push for employment which wasn't easy. It also meant that we hardly had any money. Not that his old job had been paying him good wages, after all that's why I had gotten a job in the first place. So we could make more money.

Never in a million years had I thought he'd get a job in two weeks! It was fantastic news. Why he looked so miserable confused me.

"Paul that's great, you have no idea how relieved I am," I told him. My eyes tearing up.

"Yeah it is…" he trailed off, his voice barely a whisper.

Pushing myself closer to him so that our knees were touching, I took his hands in mine. "What's the matter? Tell me."

"The job.. well it's not-" he gulped as our eyes locked. "It's here in Port Angeles."

"That's fine Paul, I know it's an hour and a half away from La Push but it's really okay. As long as you've got a job that's all that matters," I told him. Giving his unusually cold hands a reassuring squeeze.

He shook his head. "Fay that's where you're wrong."

"Wrong?."

With a sigh, he slipped his hands out of mine and held my face instead. "Honey we can't live in La Push anymore, it's impossible. We need the money and if I'm late for my shift.. I just don't want that to even happen again. So I took you out here to look at this house because we're moving..."

There were points in my life when something bazaar happened and suddenly everything didn't seem real anymore. My whole body would freeze up with shock and I'd try to make sense out of the situation. Well that's exactly how I was feeling now.

Paul getting a job in Port Angeles was enough to blow me away but Paul deciding that we move out there was just… unreal. How was it even possible? He needed to be there for the pack, whether or not there were any vampires around. Sam surely wouldn't allow this.

"I don't understand," I said slowly. "You're part of the pack, you can't just leave."

"Oh Fay," he breathed, pressing his forehead to mine as his hands fell to my shoulders. "I don't know how to tell you this."

"Tell me what?," I asked. Still shocked by everything I'd just heard plus the fact he was closer to me than he'd ever been in months.

Staring deep into my eyes, he spoke the words I thought I'd never hear. "I've stopped phasing."

"What?," I gasped. My hands instinctively grabbing a hold of his firm waist. "Y-You what?."

With a sad smile, he pushed gently on my shoulders until I was laying down on the cool grass. Staring up at the sky with a dazed expression, I could tell it was going to rain as it started filling up with grey clouds.

Paul fell to the ground next to me, propped up on his elbow as he stared down into my face. Our eyes met and suddenly everything that he'd just told me made sense; moving to Port Angeles would break my heart, never seeing Paul's beautiful wolf-self again broke my heart, being his friend and not his lover broke my heart too. But in the end we would always be together.

"I did it for you and Noah. It'll make life easier on us, after all I'm a father now and I need to be around more. I could've stopped phasing in ten years but I don't want that, I want you. I want to grow old with you and be there when our son says his first word, I want all of that. I love you."

A tear escaped the corner of my eye just as a droplet of rain hit my neck. "And there I was a week ago, wondering when you'd stop phasing. I didn't want you to miss any of Noah's firsts, like crawling and walking but I couldn't say that to you. I felt I'd be asking you to do the impossible."

"Never ever feel that way about asking me something, you know I'd do anything for you."

"But you loved being part of the pack, you were so proud of who you are."

Reaching out to run a hand down my cheek, he leaned in a little closer. "Sam thought it was a good idea too, especially after I lost my job because of his meeting. Besides, I prefer being a father and a husband."

This surprised me. "Really?."

"Of course," he whispered. Running his thumb over my cheekbone, causing me to shiver. "Not that I didn't love being a shape-shifter, I did. It made me feel like I was part of something important. I needed it. My parents… I love them but they never really took any interest in me, nobody did until you came along. And what did I do on the faithful day? The day I imprinted on you? I upset you. Because I was an idiot."

"I cried that night," I told him.

"I know, I heard you." His hand was now on my neck. "I'm so sorry."

I chuckled. "That was ages ago."

"But I need you to know something." A blush crept into his cheeks. "When I heard you cry, I ran up the stairs and stood outside your bedroom door. I was going to go apologize to you but I knew that if I did, I'd end up forcefully kissing you and that'd just scare you so I left. That night I dreamt we ran away and got married in Vegas."

"Vegas!." I laughed. "That's what you were dreaming while I lay in bed depressed?."

"Pretty much so, I kept it from the pack though. No one knows about that except you." He said while giving me a toothy grin.

"Your craziness is one of the many reasons I love you," I told him. Reaching out to run my hand down his smooth cheek.

His fingers trailed down my neck to my collarbone, causing my skin to tingle. "What are the other reasons?."

I thought of his deep feelings towards everything he loves. "Your passion."

"What else?."

"Your will-power."

"And?." He pushed. His pupils dilating as he stared into my eyes.

"Your pride, your loyalty, your humor, your love, your strength, your smile, your eyes, your hair, your shape-shifting, your wolf… everything Paul."

"I'm sorry I have a temper." He paused, bring his hand back up to cup my cheek. "That's something I'd love to change about myself."

Dropping my hand from his face to my side, I gave him a small smile. "Your temper is something I love too, it's part of who you are."

I thought that would've made him happy but it didn't, a flicker of anger crossed his face. "That's the one thing you should despise Fay, after… don't tell me you love it, it's wrong."

"But Paul-."

"No, stop." Suddenly his hand was no longer cupping my cheek and he was no longer next to me, instead, he was standing up at his full height with his hand outstretched towards me. "We better get going."

Jumping up to my feet, I pressed my hands to his chest. "Paul don't be like that, please."

"I hate myself when I think of my temper, it's nothing but bad," he gritted out through clenched teeth. His heart hammering beneath my palm. "I'm so unstable."

Paul found it hard to talk about the control of his inner wolf. Ever since he phased too close to me and ripped through my flesh, his temper was a touchy subject. We hadn't even discussed that particular night, he avoided it at all costs. Much to my dislike.

Sometimes I felt the need to talk about it, to tell him that it was in the past and that I wasn't angry with him. Weren't we friends? Friends are supposed to talk about everything without any awkwardness coming between them.

However, I wouldn't force the subject on him.

"Sometimes you just have to move on Paul, no matter what it is. You can't hate yourself forever, especially when you know that the person you hurt unintentionally loves you. So when you do decide to do that, let me know. I'll always be there."

"I don't see that happening," he said frustratedly. Looking up at the sky just as it started to rain lightly.

Without realizing what I was doing, I leaned closer to him, my lips inches from his jaw bone. I wanted so badly to kiss him, to just end this 'friendship' stage right now, it was going on for so long I wasn't sure how much more I could take. But something inside of me told me to back away, that Paul wouldn't want this. So I did.

And with that, I walked away.

**

* * *

**

**July 21****st**** (A Week Later)**

Wedding anniversaries were supposed to be happy celebrations in remembrance to a wonderful eventful day. Lovers would take each other out to a romantic dinner, followed by a walk along a beach whereas others may prefer to stay at home and enjoy a meal together.

Well it was our anniversary today. This time last year, we were high up in the sky, looking forward to our honeymoon in Florida. Because this time last year it was eight pm, which is the exact time right now.

And I hadn't even seen Paul once since I woke up— that was eleven hours ago.

I'd heard him when I was getting dressed, he'd been taking a shower. But as I was straightening my hair, I heard him exit the bathroom and three minutes later I'd heard the front door slam shut downstairs.

Hurt wasn't even close to explaining how I felt, actually it wasn't even similar to what I was feeling, disgust was.

So here I sat on our living room floor, nothing but boxes filled with all of our belongings surrounding me. We were moving out tomorrow, and this just wasn't how I expected our last night in our first home to be.

Outside, I could hear a car pull up, a door slamming shut, footsteps and finally, the front door being opened.

Without any furniture—except for the crib Noah was sleeping in and my bed— the slightest movement echoed throughout the house.

A familiar figure filled the doorway. "Sorry I'm late."

Instead of answering him, my eyes remained glued to the floor while I started chewing on my lip.

"Are you mad at me?," he asked.

As much as I hated it to happen, tears stung my eyes and I fought hard to keep them from falling. Speaking to him would only make me cry.

Shrugging out of his leather jacket, he made his way towards me before dropping it to the floor next to me. For a moment he just stood there, looking down at me, making me feel very vulnerable under his gaze. Then he was on his knees by my side, his warmth radiating onto me.

"I've been searching all over the place for a suitable gift for you since last month and no matter where I go I can't find anything, nothing screams your name, so today I left early hoping I'd come across something. It took me ten hours to find what I was looking for," he told me in a soft, quiet voice.

Squeezing my eyes shut before opening them again, I turned to look at him for the first time today. His beautiful brown eyes looked tired, and his now shoulder length hair was tied back in a messy knot at the nape of his neck. Yet he had the sweetest, kindest look on his face and for a change, he wore a fitted black shirt with the first three buttons undone and a pair of grey khakis.

He looked so handsome, irresistible.

"You got me something? You remembered?," I asked in disbelief as a tear escaped my eye.

With a shocked expression, he wiped it away with his knuckles. "Of course honey, why are you crying?."

"I thought that you forgot about today," I admitted as silent tears started to flow down my rosy cheeks. "When you left this morning, I thought that was it, you had definitely forgotten."

Suddenly I was crushed against his chest, strong arms wrapping around me, holding me tightly. "I'm so sorry I made you think that," he said into my ear. "I'd never forget."

"I love you," I whispered against him. "You look so handsome tonight."

Spreading his legs apart so that I could nestle between them as he pulled back, he stared deep into my eyes. "Before I tell you how beautiful _you_ look tonight and before I give you your gift, there's something I need to tell you."

Pressing closer to him, my hands resting on each of his thighs, I nodded. "Tell me, I want to know."

Holding my face in his hands as always, he spoke. "It took a long time to think everything through. To appreciate all the good that has come out of all the bad and to be thankful for being forgiven even when I didn't deserve it. For the past year and a half, I'd hate myself for hurting you but I wouldn't think it through, I'd just continue to hate myself and that's wrong. What I should've done was apologize to you right from the beginning, right from when I first laid eyes on you and made you cry in your sleep.

"I should've changed my attitude, because who was I kidding? You can't fight the imprint, it's impossible. But I wanted to be _typical_ _Paul_, I wanted to be macho and strong. I wanted to prove to the pack that I could fight the imprint. That you hadn't got a hold on me." He shook his head. "The pack didn't believe I could do it and funnily enough I didn't believe I could do it either but I tried like the idiot I was and ended up hurting you badly.

"And there've been tons of times I've hurt you, even after I gave in to the imprint and I'd just hate myself. But now I know that it's not about hating yourself, what's that going to do? It's about changing yourself for the better so you prevent yourself from doing those things that make you hate yourself in the first place. So I've done a lot of thinking during this past week and I need to tell you that I've finally moved on."

"Paul-."

"And I want to start right here, I want to be a man you deserve, I want to be a man that doesn't hate himself, I want to be a man his children can look up to and I want to be a man who doesn't shift into a wolf… ever. I just want to be the Paul I imagined myself to be when I was younger but most of all, I want to be your husband and not just your friend."

There was so much I wanted to say to him, most of it being how proud I was of him but this moment didn't call for words, after all, we had all the time in the world to speak. But right now, on our anniversary, after being deprived of his touch for so long, all I wanted to do was love him.

So I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his.

The kiss started off as slow, it was almost like we were afraid to go any further since it had been so long, but within minutes we were kissing each other hungrily, grabbing at each other's clothes, tasting each other all over again.

A shirtless Paul with his long, black hair cascading over his shoulders, pushed me down onto my back gently, whispering words in Quileute to me as he took my ankle in his warm hands and stared at the scar that ran up the side of my leg. Taking me by surprise, he pressed his lips to it and started placing open mouthed kisses up the length of it, his tongue darting out every few seconds.

It was one of the most erotic things I'd ever witnessed him do.

Gifts and celebrations forgotten, we made love on his leather jacket without a care in the world.

That was the night we conceived our second child.

Our lives finally complete.

* * *

**A/N: Why doesn't it say, The End? BECAUSE THERE'S AN EPILOGUE! I won't take as long to write that up though.**

**Once again, big hugs to you all for reviewing, reading, alerting and adding this story to you favorites list. It's been nothing but a pleasure writing this, I'm thrilled I actually got this far.**

**So I'll explain A LOT of things in the epilogue, like whatever happened to Kim.**

**Any questions? Feel free to ask.**

**Cheers everyone!**


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Please mommy!."

I shook my head as I dried the dishes. "No is no, now go up to your room."

"But mommy The-."

"No!," I yelled. "Just because it's a cartoon does _not_ mean it's for children, and it's way past your bedtime. Look at your sister, she's been asleep since eight. Now do as I say, and go up to your room!."

He sat down on the wooden floor and crossed his little arms. "I'm not going to bed."

"Noah," I warned. But I knew it was no use, he wouldn't listen. The only person he ever listened to was his father, why didn't that surprise me?

Noah was only five years old, almost six, and I knew that raising children wouldn't be easy. But sometimes I felt I needed a break, he was very stubborn and very hot-headed, and I was always so worn out.

Every night he'd refuse to go to sleep, and beg me to let him stay up and watch The Simpsons. Nothing I ever said to him worked, he'd just continue to beg until the only option I had left was to wait for Paul to come home from his night-shift and have him warn his son — which wasn't possible tonight since he was away on a business trip.

"Mommy please!," Noah begged yet again.

Sighing, I abandoned the wet dishes and bent down to pick him up, resting him on my hip. "How about I give you milk and a cookie?."

He smiled brightly at that, his two front teeth missing. "I like cookies."

"But you have to promise me that you'll go to bed afterwards okay?."

"I pwomise," he told me in his tiny voice before I walked around to the table and set him down on a chair.

Over the past five years, Noah grew more and more like his father in looks. People were _always_ complimenting him, which sometimes gave Paul a big head— since he looked just like that when he was a child.

On the other hand, his sister Ayita —who'd just turned four— looked just like me.

She was the cutest little girl, with a bright smile and long, soft, wavy, brown hair. Her and Noah were completely different in looks, you wouldn't even know they were related. Sam and Emily had found that fascinating.

Not to mention they had completely different personalities too: while Noah was full of life, talkative and sensitive; Ayita was obedient, quiet and strong-willed. They were both opposites, but still the most wonderful children I could ever ask for.

"Did you have fun with Kyle today?," I asked Noah as he nibbled on his cookie.

La Push was still home to me, and there were times when all I wanted to do was move back to our old house there. It was safe now, no more bloodthirsty vampires lurking in the woods to worry us. The whole pack was free to move on with their lives and live like normal, except for a Quil and a few others— they wouldn't be giving up phasing anytime soon.

I'd take the kids over to Emily and Sam's, and let them play with their children. Noah and Kyle were the best of friends, though they did have moments where they'd end up fighting. But that was to be expected.

"Yes." He nodded, his chin-length hair bobbing. "We played catch and I winned."

I chuckled at his grammatical mistake. "You won did you?."

"Yes, and he was angwy with me."

"Aw, well next time you'll let him win won't you?."

He shook his head. "No, I want to win. I'm the best."

"But he's your friend Noah," I reasoned, hoping it'd get through to him. "Did you show him what Santa brought you?."

Noah proceeded to tell me all about Kyle's new toys and the other things they did earlier today. Apparently Emily had made them chocolate cupcakes and they were 'delisus'— his way of saying delicious, which I found incredibly adorable.

Halfway through his cup of milk, he started nodding off so I quickly picked him up and took him to bed.

"Mommy," he mumbled, half-asleep as I tucked him in. "I love you and daddy."

"We love you too honey." I smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead, tears blurring my vision. "Sweet dreams."

Once I was sure Noah was asleep, I slipped out of his room and took a peek into Ayita's to make sure she was okay. Smiling over at her adorable sleeping-form, I closed the door over and made my way back downstairs to watch some TV— something I was deprived of these days.

As I scrolled through the channels, I thought about how things had worked out for us.

Moving to Seattle had been very good; our neighbors were friendly, shopping wasn't too far away and Paul impressed his boss so much that he had practically taken over the place. I was thrilled for him, and the money was great, but I missed him terribly when he had to travel.

His boss had been in charge for so long that he decided to let Paul take his place, and of course there were the pros and cons to that. The pros were that Paul no longer had to repair vehicles, instead he made sure his co-workers were doing things right and did lots of paperwork. The cons were that whenever his boss wanted to look at new equipment, or wanted to open up a new branch, he'd have Paul go with him.

So this year, Paul missed out on Christmas. It was six days ago, and we all missed him badly. The kids were always asking for him, and they'd cry for two whole nights when he'd leave. However, he was coming back tonight. Eleven pm to be exact.

"Fay," a voice whispered, causing my eyes to flutter open.

I must've fallen asleep…

"Paul-."

I didn't get to finish my sentence as he pulled me up off the sofa and into a bone-crushing hug. "I've missed you so much honey."

Wrapping my legs around his waist, I pulled back slightly to hold his face in my hands. "I've missed you more."

"At least you had our babies to keep you company." He pressed his forehead to mine. "I was all alone, for a whole week."

"And you missed Christmas."

"I know… I'm so sorry about that."

"Next time, I'm locking you up in our room and I'm not letting you out," I joked, mindlessly running my fingers through his shoulder-length raven hair. "I promise."

"You promise me many things my love, but I can promise you something tonight," he told me, tilting his head to the side, giving me a look— a look he knew melted me inside out. "I'll celebrate the New Year with you in an hour, and I'll do anything you want me to do. Think of it as _making up_ _for missing Christmas_."

Blushing, I sunk my head down onto his broad shoulder. "I think a nice message would be good, I'm so worn out."

He scoffed, running his hands up and down my back affectionately. "That's it? I'm practically giving myself to you for the night, I'll do _anything_."

"I know, but we're not alone anymore, it's not like we can have a karaoke night… or anything." My fingers continued to comb through his hair, and just like that, an idea came to me. "Actually there _is_ something I'd like to do to you."

"Oh really?," he asked huskily, lowering his voice so that only I could hear the words that spilled from his mouth. "I thought you've done everything."

Squeezing my thighs around his waist, I chuckled darkly to myself as I stared up at him innocently. "But there is one thing I haven't tried."

He gulped, heartbeat racing against my palm. "And what is that?."

"You have to let me do it." I giggled.

His dark eyes glazed over as they stared down into mine. "Anything, I promise."

Leaning up, I pressed my lips to his ear. "I'm going to curl your hair."

"No!." he gasped, pushing me off him, back down onto the sofa. "No way."

I slumped back against the cushions. "You promised Paul."

"I promised _I'd_ do anything you wanted, not anything _you_ wanted to do to me."

After all these years of living with him, I could read him like a book and I knew wholeheartedly that he'd sit down at my dressing-table and let me do as I pleased with his silky locks. There was hardly ever a time he refused me, so tonight wouldn't be any different.

Besides, it'd take me a while to get his hair the way I wanted, so that meant I could spend time with him in the very early hours of the morning— something we hardly did anymore due to work and waking up early to take care of the children.

"Stop it Paul, you promised me anything. It'll be my New Years gift to you," I joked.

Shrugging out of his leather jacket, he dropped it next to me. "After my shower, okay?."

"I'll be waiting."

Two hours later and three accidental burns to Paul's neck and shoulders— yes he still insisted on walking around shirtless— his hair was prettier than mine on our wedding day. Long ringlets running down his back, giving him a _very_ unique look.

One look in the mirror and he'd almost lost it, and as punishment, tickled me until I was screaming the house down. Luckily for us, Noah hadn't woken up but a certain little girl had been disturbed.

"Paul!," I hissed as he slipped into bed. "You're an absolute disgrace! Waking up the children."

"No I didn't…," he trailed off as the bedroom door creaked open. "Uh oh."

She walked in on her tiny feet, dressed in her favorite pink pajamas. Her long wavy hair was now an unruly mess and as always, she had taken her yellow blanket with her. "Mommy."

"Aw honey, I'm sorry." I scooped her up in my arms and carried her over to the bed. "Your daddy was being naughty."

Her tired eyes widened at that and she snapped her head to the side, staring right at her father… but for some reason she wasn't excited to see him. "Mommy why?."

"Why what?," I asked, walking over to Paul's side of the bed.

She pointed. "Why daddy like you?."

At that, both Paul and I exchanged a glance before bursting out into laughter. We had totally forgotten about his girly hairstyle, and we were stupid enough not to understand why our daughter was confused.

"Aw I missed you honey, come here," he said, smiling as I handed her to him. "Your mommy thought I was a girl, and she played with my hair. She's crazy."

She gasped. "Mommy cwazy?."

"Yes." He nodded. "Very, very crazy."

Father and daughter exchanged hugs and spoke for a while as I headed into the bathroom to change into my white sweatpants and matching white sweater. The room still smelt of Paul's muskiness and aftershave, and I realized how much I'd really missed him.

A week was nothing to some people, but an eternity to me.

By the time I made it back into the bedroom, Ayita was no longer there. Paul explained to me that she'd fallen asleep in his arms and that he'd carried her back to her room, much to my surprise. He'd usually let the kids stay with us.

"I just wanted to cuddle with my wife tonight, if that's okay," he whispered against my ear as I lay down, pressing himself into my back. "I love you so much Fay."

Gazing up at him from over my shoulder, I could see how his eyes had grown misty with lust. "Paul," I whimpered with sudden need. "I want you."

Then I was on my back, and he was on top of me, our bodies molded together as his warm hands ran down my arms. Gone were the days he'd hover over me, afraid I'd be crushed under his weight— he knew things wouldn't get _that_ far.

Lowering his lips to mine, he kissed me with an urgency and need that always occurred whenever he'd been away for long. My lips burned under the pressure, and I knew that they'd be swollen for quite a while afterwards. But I didn't care, I loved this man and I'd take anything he offered.

Tangling my fingers in his now-curly hair, I moved my abused lips against his as a fire started up in my tummy and spread throughout my body. His natural, manly scent doing things to my mind, driving me over the edge.

My legs found their way around his waist, in hopes of bringing us closer. Always closer… I needed closer…

Breaking the kiss, he stared deep into my eyes. "Tell me you love me," he panted, giving me time to breathe. "I need to hear it."

Over the years, I'd learned that Paul was insecure when it came to love; when he was younger, he'd felt unloved by his parents because they never paid any attention to him and he hardly saw them during the weekdays, coming home from school to an empty home. So now that he finally had a wife and children that loved him, he sometimes found it hard to believe.

We'd had many conversations about it, and although he hated how badly his childhood effected him, he couldn't change his ways instantly. He needed time, and I was willing to give him all the time in the world.

I'd always let him know how much I loved him, no matter what.

"I love you Paul," I said softly, untangling a hand from his silky hair and bringing it down to rest upon his heaving chest, directly over his hammering heart. "Forever and always."

"I've waited a week for you to say that," he breathed, warm breath tickling my face. "It's just not the same on the phone."

Sliding my hand up over his chest, I rested it on his flushed cheek. "I'll never fall out of love with you Paul, don't ever doubt that."

"And I'll always be yours," he replied, before pressing his soft lips to mine, kissing me softly.

Loving me for the rest of the night, very, _very_ slowly.

* * *

The next morning as I was preparing breakfast for the children, Paul handed me a letter.

"Who's it from?," I asked, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "I recognize the handwriting, but… I can't… I don't remember who."

Giving me a sweet smile, he leaned down to peck me on the lips. "Life's full of surprises."

"Do you know who it is?."

He pulled away, backing out of the kitchen with a twinkle in his eye. "I'm going to check on our babies."

"Paul! Come back here!," I called after him, but chuckled to myself and tore the envelope open anyway.

Never had I once thought that I'd be hearing from this particular person again. It had been way too long.

Five years to be precise— as sad as that was.

_Dear Fay_

_How are you? It's been a long time._

_I'm sorry this has taken me years to write- literally. I've just been so busy over here in Berlin, although that's not really a good enough excuse. I guess I'm just terrified of telling you the real reason why I haven't been in touch, but you're still the only friend who truly understands me, so you deserve to know every detail of my story before we meet again._

_Five years ago, when I first arrived in Germany, I had been an emotional wreck. You should've seen me Fay, I'd lost so much weight my parents thought I was suffering from anorexia. For a full year, I couldn't get to sleep, no matter what I tried. And I started to close in on myself, which resulted in me not speaking to anyone- not even my parents._

_They were worried, so worried that I started to worry about myself. Seeing the state I was in, they decided to give me a year off, no college, no work. I sat in my room all day, thinking of him- Jared. My heart was broken, no not even broken, shattered. Life didn't seem worth living anymore without him._

_On my first two weeks I'd call him, but we never spoke, just cried, the only thing we'd whisper was 'I love you' before putting the phone down. I came to realize that calling him was only making me feel worse, I guess it was because there was nothing we could do about the situation. It's not like I could've bought a ticket home to him, that wouldn't have worked out, as much as I was tempted to._

_So on my fourth month in the ancient flat we were staying in, I got really sick. My parents and I thought it was to do with my emotional state, and they almost dragged me out the door to see a psychiatrist. Almost._

_It wasn't until my sixth month that I noticed how my tummy had swelled, and I knew then that all the throwing up I had been doing wasn't because of my shattered heart, it was because I was pregnant._

_How? You ask. I really have no idea, Jared and I always made sure we used protection. Always. But I guess faith had other plans for us, and somehow he had impregnated me, much to my complete shock and happiness._

_I was so happy that a product of our love was growing inside of me that I had written him a long letter; I told him how much I loved him, how I missed him terribly and that the reason I was writing to him was because if I called him, I'd definitely break down into sobs with the news he was going to receive._

_Then something stopped me from mailing him the letter, I don't know what it was exactly but I realized that if I told him about my pregnancy, there was still nothing we could do to be together again. I knew that he'd do everything in his power to take me back to La Push, that he'd throw away all his plans for college and instead, work all day and night just so he could save up enough money to rent us a place._

_And I didn't want that for him._

_Jared didn't deserve that kind of life, he deserved so much better. I wanted him to thrive, to graduate from college and university, and become the man he always wanted to be. Then in the future, when the time was right, we'd be together again, and nothing would stand in our way._

_So I never told him about our beautiful daughter Lola- who is now four years old and very much resembles her father's mother- Until two months ago._

_I'd cut off all contact with him after I'd given birth, but eight weeks ago he begged my parents to put me on the phone, and so we spoke._

_Everything just rushed from my lips like the tears from my eyes, and I apologized over and over again to him, begging for his forgiveness. And you know what he said to me Fay? 'I understand'._

_That was it, he didn't get angry or upset._

_He was broken-hearted though, he cried and asked me so many questions about his daughter. He was just so wonderful to me, like he always was._

_So that's my story my dear friend, and by the time you get this, I'll be packing my bags to leave for Seattle. Jared has a home waiting for me in La Push, just like I've always dreamed of._

_I'll see you very soon._

_Much love_

_Kim Connweller_

Although her touching letter had brought me to tears, I smiled as I realized something.

We were all _finally_, coming full circle.

**The End**

**

* * *

**

**A/N: I honestly cannot believe that it's over, seriously. Time flies.**

**I'd like to apologize for keeping you all waiting for over a month, I was very busy updating my other story and I was quite terrified of typing up this chapter**—** endings make me nervous.**

**So I hope you guys liked it, not much happened but that was how I wanted it to be, or else the story would've just gone on forever.**

**Paul and Fay only have two children in this epilogue, but in earlier chapters they spoke about wanting four, so let's just say their family _will_ expand in the future. **

**Also, Ayita is a Native American name, it means worker. I thought it was pretty.**

**The letter from Kim was an idea that popped into my head a while ago and I thought it'd be good to close the story. Hope enough was explained in her letter. **

**If you guys have any questions, let me know, I promise I'll reply.**

**Thank you all so very much for sticking with me throughout the whole story, it's been a pleasure writing for you guys and I couldn't have done it without all your support. Thank you.**

**Happy New Year to you all! And I hope you (to those of you who celebrate it) all had a wonderful Christmas.**

**Cheers!**


End file.
